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Need your best life tips. Me and DP will both be working FT and have 3 kids including a toddler! Help!!(9 Posts)
If you both work full time and have kids how the heck do you do? I have only ever been a sahm and even then I used to feel so rushed!
I'm actually stressed thinking about it! How do you do it??! Please give me your tips. I honestly don't know how I am going to keep on top of everything!
Au pair or nanny, grandparents, childminder. Or daycare. If kids at school is there wraparound care? We have a breakfast and dinner club so kids can be there 8-6pm. Friend had a live in nanny for her three as both she and her husband also travelled for work. My sister has an au pair who has the child from school pick up to mid evening. Other friend has her mum look after her baby twice a week, her mil another day and nursery the other day with mil doing half day that day. Another childminder who just does kids after school for four hours until parents pick up. Depends what's available near you, but it's doable.
I'm not exactly in your position but I would say pay to make your life easier if you can afford it i.e. cleaner, gardener, iron service,
Then get organised for meals by batch cooking, online shop and have it ready in advance so you don't have a flap. Pack lunches for everyone the night before. Put the washing on overnight and hang in the morning. Run the dishwasher after breakfast and unstack when home from work when dinner cooking/heating.
Get the children to help where/if they can. My sister has a shopping chart for special days/nights for example putting their washing away would be 5 points, popcorn for movie night might be 10 points iyswim.
Can you give more information in terms of kids ages, drop off times for school/childcare etc which will help for offering advice.
Advice on getting out the door? Or just managing your life in general?
Organisation will be your best friend. Have lunches made the night before or even do a couple of days worth at a time.
Bags packed and already in car or at front door if walking.
Uniform/clothes laid out evening before.
Breakfast bowls, cereal etc on table evening before
Meal plan so you know exactly what your cooking each evening. Make extra so you have leftovers for freezer/next day lunches
My tips would be:
Get good reliable childcare. Have a plan for what happens when they are sick (grandparents? Turn about annual leave) and stick to it.
Meal plan. It’s boring as hell doing the meal list and huge shopping list but a massive time saver having all the food in the house for the week
Make sure your partner is pulling their weight re childcare pickups & household chores. In our case DH does the kitchen (dishwasher(load and empty), surfaces, bins etc), all bills, organises all car services etc, garden and the majority of holiday booking. I do all laundry, bathrooms, birthday gifts for family, School and clubs paperwork
Try not to take on too much in the way of play dates, clubs etc. There just isn’t time
Lower your standards in most things 😬
Sorry I forgot to say childcare isn't a problem. Kids will be at school and we have grandparents who can look after them during school hols. Also dp works remotely so they can also hang out at home. Toddler will be at nursery and will get picked up at school time as nursery is near school.
It's more the house stuff, food, me time, admin, time with kids. All the hundreds of things I worry I won't be able to fit in or forget about. Joe do you all manage!
We have 5 kids and both work full time. He walks and feeds the dogs before work and I sort breakfast and the baby out.
One of us does a food shop midweek in the evening - we menu plan and stick to it. While one of us is shopping the other cleans bathrooms. Take it in turns or who feels like doing what.
He does all the cooking in the week and I do all the clothes washing and sorting - we are a big family so have to do a load at least everyday so try to get it out to dry and our away - but save big jobs like bedding for weekends.
We take it in turns to either tidy up after dinner/ clean kitchen or bath baby and settle to bed.
I vacuum a couple of times a week - other cleaning saved for weekends. But we have lowered standards! We have one weekend day for cleaning/ gardening/ running errands etc and at least one say for chilling out/ family time.
Older kids are responsible for cleaning own bedrooms and bringing laundry down/ putting away.
We always sit down at same time in the evening and would prioritise this over cleaning - we need the downtime! Most importantly reading some threads on MN - we work as a team. It's not all ok me and he doesn't 'help'
With me on maternity leave and DH furloughed it was a nice break and we managed to get some big jobs done - taken a while to get back into our routine but once u have a routine that works it's easier !
In the morning (pre COVID) we all had to be out the door by 8. So...alarm at 6:45...DS1 (7) and DS2 (4) pile in with us for a quick cuddle. By 7, DH in shower, DS1 dressing and brushing teeth, me helping DS2 dress and brushing his teeth. DSs sort shoes and downstairs whilst DH shaves and dresses and I hop in the shower. I dress (don’t wear make up or blow dry hair, never have even pre DC) while DH Unloaded dishwasher and gets breakfast for all of us. Eat breakfast and DH puts on DSs shoes, organises their bags and into car and off to drop at CM on way to work while I do ONE chore (eg washing from overnight wash into tumble drier). I hop in car and off I go. No stress but a routine.
We pay for full time CM even though DSs are now both in school and CM will have them if sick or inset days. (School have taken THREE YEARS to wrap their heads around me being further away during the working day than DH or CM but that’s for another thread).
I have a cleaner and DH and I split other chores.
I have a present box that these days mainly has small Lego sets (bought when on offer) for parties. And a stash of wrapping paper and inoffensive cards.
From when I had 3 under 6: the moment you/DP/au pair/granny come through the door with them in the evening is the key to next day prepping, DON'T let them escape. Frisk them, and their bags for bastarding notes (if it's not all email now). Question them about what they need for school the next day - if you're going to have to make a scale model of the Palace of Versailles by 8 tomorrow, this is the moment to find out, not as they're going to sleep. Have a chart by the door of what everyone needs on each day of the week - sports kit, musical instruments etc. Get them to put their coats and shoes by the door to avoid morning panics. Channel your inner Miss Trunchbull - no one gets a snack or to turn on the TV till all this is done.
I also used to do baths straight after school/nursery, not at bed time, firstly so I hadn't totally lost the will to live, secondly because you can bribe them to hurry up with the promise of TV/ipad whereas, if you do a bath before bed, they'll string it out to put off bedtime.
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