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If you're a good saver, are you a guilty spender?

(8 Posts)
Elbels Thu 13-Aug-20 12:25:59

I've always been a saver, from my first job at 14 all through university and now well into my working life.

I have a good amount saved but got to thinking about what am I saving it for? Because every time I think about buying something I get an attack of guilt that I shouldn't be spending! I want something at the moment that while not tiny ( less than £500) is a very small portion of my savings pot and yet I know I probably won't get it because it feels unnecessary!

Is anyone else like this? I didn't grow up without money and my parents have always been excellent role models in spending and saving so it's just me that's the weirdo!

OP’s posts: |
WitsEnding Thu 13-Aug-20 12:29:21

I’m not proud of it, but this is me.
I also had years of solo parent FT working struggling to fit in exercise and study, I now find it very difficult to spend time unproductively enjoying myself.

Except on Mumsnet, thank you all!

JoJoSM2 Thu 13-Aug-20 12:36:08

We just have a budget so that a certain amount gets saved/invested for the long term and some money is set aside for spending. That includes blowing £££ on pointless stuff like designer clothes or jewellery. So no guilt as you need to live a little too.

Greylilypad Thu 13-Aug-20 12:36:59

Yes I also feel guilty about spending, especially if it is on myself.
Both Dh and I are relatively high earners and save a good amount each month, we are saving to extend our house.
If I buy any new clothes for myself, I feel really guilty or else I talk myself out of it. This has always been the case with me, I can’t shake it! Money was tight in my family growing up so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe I would have been like this anyway.
We are going to spend a big amount extending the house though and I don’t feel guilty about that for some reason, maybe because it will benefit the kids as well as us!?

DowntonCrabby Thu 13-Aug-20 12:39:47

I’m a bit like this.

I find it helps to have very clear savings goals so £x by y date for z thing. That applies to short and longer term goals and pensions etc.

I then relax a bit with day to day spending on non-essentials as I know the goals are all specific and on target.

newyearnoeu Thu 13-Aug-20 12:42:48

Not with big things, weirdly but with small things, yes. So I will happily splash several grand of my savings on getting the patio done (something that is nice but not an essential). Similarly I recently went for a consultation for laser eye treatment, came home, and booked for the next session they had. Had the money available, decided i wanted it, bought it. Same when I last updated my car.

Yet i will faff about whether to buy a £10 foundation or treat myself to a ffrapaccino for hours/days ! Very weird grin

The other thing I do is judge people's spending on websites like metros how I save and refinery money diaries etc. Its like aibu on crack to me, I get so worked up saying "you say you'd like to save for a house but it's too expensive, but you've just spent £84 on fucking socks!" Or "you've spent 90p on a can of coke every day in your work canteen just buy a multi pack ffs". Very very sad but it doesn't hurt anyone! Strangely I don't judge anyone I know in real life for their spending/saving!

Strokethefurrywall Thu 13-Aug-20 12:48:45

I'm like this. DH and I have a very healthy amount in savings but I rarely buy myself something even if I can afford it and I get the guilts.

I started making sure we both had our "mad" money to spend on whatever we want each month, generally for me it goes on lunches at work and if any left over I just too it up to $X each month.

For me, now that I have reached my savings benchmark, I'm determined we don't drop below it. We're converting our roof terrace mid-next year and will be coming back to UK for summer (Covid pending of course), but knowing I can already pay for it and school fees brings comfort.

But see a nice piece of jewelry and I'll talk myself out of it!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss Thu 13-Aug-20 12:50:29

I have more than one saving pot for this very reason. Main savings doesn’t get touched as it’s there for a rainy day and I would feel really guilty using it for other things. Other pots are for certain thing seems so that when I want to buy/purchase there’s no guilt.

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