Struggling in the postnatal period

[3jellybeans]

Hello,

I really feel down and I guess I’m posting for some advice, a handhold or some words to give me some strength. I had my baby by c-section nearly 4 weeks ago and things have been a bit difficult regarding sleep and colic. I feel exhausted and sleep deprived. The past week with the heatwave I have cried and struggled to get through each day. My baby wants to be held constantly and I spend hours walking around the house rocking him. My bleeding has become very heavy with more clots but the GP said it’s fine. My c-section wound has a couple of red patches on it and a bit of pus coming out which comes out more noticeably after a shower. I started the progesterone pill a week ago and have since developed spots over my face and chest and I think it’s also contributing to my mood. I constantly feel dirty because of the heavy bleeding and being unable to go to the toilet as often as I’d like to, to change my pad . Hearing him scream is also distressing so I prefer to comfort him. I had a traumatic start to my pregnancy which involved NHS mistakes/negligence and I nearly lost my baby. I love him so much. I thought as he’s not my first child, it would be so much easier but now I’m starting to feel like I’m not good enough and finding the strength to get through all of this feels difficult at present. Im also running around after my other children, trying to make sure that they are happy and content. I’m usually very positive and when it has been cooler and I’ve had some sleep I’m my normal self but when I’ve hardly slept and I feel disgusting and hot I feel like breaking down. Is this all understandable or is it a sign of postnatal depression? I apologise if my post is a bit muddled and difficult to understand

[eggontoast2]

Sounds like a touch of the baby blues still and your hormones being all over the place. This week has been super tough in the heat. I have a 10 week old who I am breastfeeding and all of the rooms in our house have not gone below 29 degrees. It's been getting me down too. We have been a sweaty mess for days.
Have you been to the gp about your c-section wound? Mine was like that and I had to have antibiotics. If it's infected then that will be making you feel rough too.
The first few weeks are incredibly tough, especially if this is your first.
If you are worried about PND then you must see someone, GP, Health Visitor. There is no shame in asking for help.
Giving you a hand hold! Hang in there. It will and does get better!

[userabcname]

Hi OP. First of all, have you had your wound checked? That's something you should do in case of infection. If it's just red from irritation or sweat then try to air out as much as possible and wear loose, cotton, breathable clothing. I also found using mildly medicated talcum powder really helpful for sweat rash.

Your bleeding may be heavier because you are doing too much - if you are walking around for hours carrying the baby then that's quite hard on your body given what you've been through. Do you have a bouncer chair to put the baby in? I had one with a vibration setting and I could also bounce it with my foot while having a cuppa on the sofa - can highly recommend! It was the only thing my first would be put down in. I got a rocking chair with my second as he loved being rocked so we could sit together and do that. You can get them pretty cheaply second hand if you have the space.

It is normal to feel up and down after birth but if you're feeling more down than up and it's not going away, please speak to your Health Visitor or midwife or GP. Do you have a partner? Make sure they are helping out and you are getting time to rest and recover. Oh and don't feel bad for going to the loo - it's important to look after yourself and the baby crying for a couple of minutes won't do any harm. Take care.

[Nat6999]

I found the first three months terrible, I'd had a traumatic delivery by emcs, had been in high dependency & nearly died. When I got home I felt like I had been hit by a bus, sleep deprivation was a killer, a screaming baby that I didn't really know what to do with, torrential bleeding, flooding that badly I had to get changed several times a day, horrific pnd. All I can say is accept any help you can, if anyone asks what they can do to help, ask them to do all the domestic stuff like put a wash on or cook you a meal, you just need to concentrate on you & your baby, make sure you are eating & drinking enough, get your other half to take over for an hour in the evening, have a bath or a shower, let your scar have some air, put a handful of salt in your bath, it will help your scar heal, dry it with a hairdryer on low. It does get better.

[3jellybeans]

@eggontoast2

Sounds like a touch of the baby blues still and your hormones being all over the place. This week has been super tough in the heat. I have a 10 week old who I am breastfeeding and all of the rooms in our house have not gone below 29 degrees. It's been getting me down too. We have been a sweaty mess for days.
Have you been to the gp about your c-section wound? Mine was like that and I had to have antibiotics. If it's infected then that will be making you feel rough too.
The first few weeks are incredibly tough, especially if this is your first.
If you are worried about PND then you must see someone, GP, Health Visitor. There is no shame in asking for help.
Giving you a hand hold! Hang in there. It will and does get better!

Thank you so much. That makes me feel less alone. My GP did a telephone consultation with me a couple of weeks ago and I sent her a photo of my wound but she wasn’t concerned. The redness and pus has only started this week though and so it has become worse. My phone has rubbish reception where I live and so telephone consultations have been quite difficult but I’ll try and get one for tomorrow.

[3jellybeans]

@KatnissK

Hi OP. First of all, have you had your wound checked? That's something you should do in case of infection. If it's just red from irritation or sweat then try to air out as much as possible and wear loose, cotton, breathable clothing. I also found using mildly medicated talcum powder really helpful for sweat rash.

Your bleeding may be heavier because you are doing too much - if you are walking around for hours carrying the baby then that's quite hard on your body given what you've been through. Do you have a bouncer chair to put the baby in? I had one with a vibration setting and I could also bounce it with my foot while having a cuppa on the sofa - can highly recommend! It was the only thing my first would be put down in. I got a rocking chair with my second as he loved being rocked so we could sit together and do that. You can get them pretty cheaply second hand if you have the space.

It is normal to feel up and down after birth but if you're feeling more down than up and it's not going away, please speak to your Health Visitor or midwife or GP. Do you have a partner? Make sure they are helping out and you are getting time to rest and recover. Oh and don't feel bad for going to the loo - it's important to look after yourself and the baby crying for a couple of minutes won't do any harm. Take care.

Thank you for your comment . The GP told me a couple of weeks ago that it is ok but in the past week it has become worse and the pus and redness occurred. We have a bouncer chair but he isn’t fond of it and we also just bought a joie rocker/swing out of desperation and he’s settled in it for very very short periods. So hasn’t really worked either. We have also tried infacol, probiotic drops, different winding techniques, baby massage, white noise and lots of movement but none of it seems to help unfortunately.

My husband has been trying his best but he has a senior position in a business that is struggling due to covid and he’s trying to juggle all of that too

[userabcname]

So with your wound - have you checked it to see if there's any openings at all? Have a look and then I'd cover it with a sterile dressing if you can get hold of one. Sounds gross but have a smell of the dressing after a bit and see if it smells horrible because this is another sign of infection. I'd definitely see your GP again about it.

Ah newborns are so tough aren't they! Ok, so does the baby like the car seat? Could you go for a drive? Have you tried white noise to settle? It needs to be quite loud ime to make much difference. What does the baby sleep in? With my first I got a rocking base for the moses basket and rocked him (endlessly). Definitely try all the winding techniques and lots of bicycle legs to get everything up. Is there anyone who'd be able to come round even for an hour and watch the baby so you can nap/rest?

I hope it all improves for you soon!

[3jellybeans]

@KatnissK

So with your wound - have you checked it to see if there's any openings at all? Have a look and then I'd cover it with a sterile dressing if you can get hold of one. Sounds gross but have a smell of the dressing after a bit and see if it smells horrible because this is another sign of infection. I'd definitely see your GP again about it.

Ah newborns are so tough aren't they! Ok, so does the baby like the car seat? Could you go for a drive? Have you tried white noise to settle? It needs to be quite loud ime to make much difference. What does the baby sleep in? With my first I got a rocking base for the moses basket and rocked him (endlessly). Definitely try all the winding techniques and lots of bicycle legs to get everything up. Is there anyone who'd be able to come round even for an hour and watch the baby so you can nap/rest?

I hope it all improves for you soon!

Thank you. There doesn’t look like any openings but the pus is coming out from somewhere so I’m not sure. There is an unpleasant smell when lifting up the fold

I’ll try the dressing idea and see how much it’s leaking.

My bleeding has become even heavier today . I’m waiting for my video consultation with a doctor later today. Covid situation is making it more difficult as nobody can see it in person like they did when I had previous c sections and taking a photo of it doesn’t show as much redness and detail as in person.

He’s very gassy and we have tried everything that we have been recommended and can think of but nothing is really helping yet. He doesn’t seem to like the car seat either

We may have to try and see if we can get help from a night nanny but again covid is causing financial worries. I have a rocky relationship with my mum due to childhood abuse and we don’t really have anybody else that could help. I was very tearful yesterday and so my husband took over last night and I managed to have 6 hours sleep (9pm to 3am) and mentally I feel a lot better but he only got 3 hours sleep and he’s working today. I feel guilty that I’m needing to take more sleep than he gets

[3jellybeans]

@KatnissK these are some pictures of the wound. The one with the top go the trousers is 2 weeks ago and then the other two pictures are now