is it me?

[HijabiVenus]

Hello, newbie here.

Sorry this is long but please bear with me
We inhertited my husbands family home when his parents died a few years ago. His family owned it for decades and he grew up there.
Neighbouring house is rented and the tenants had used mother in laws pathway when she was dying, they knocked on the wall if she made any noise - tv radio or talk cds.
We moved in, got the place renovated, updated and moved in. We did say to them taht the part of the walkway they were using was ours, in front of our house and politely asked them to use their own walkway. Which they did.

I'm disabled and need to hold the outside communal stair handrail. They put flower pots on the edge of the steps, planed pampas grass on the edge so the sharp fronds are overhanging the steps. I asked them on several occassions to move them "Yes I'll do it later". Later never came.

One morning 5.00 a very loud crashing from next door - husband knocked on door to see if all ok. No reply - tried later - nothing, so put a note through their letterbox - is everything ok as we heard a loud noise" Nothing.
Still no movement on the flowerpots so we spoke to the family lawyer - they said you have given them reasonable notice, put a note through their door asking them to move the pots or you will move them yourslef. We did this, they did nothing so a week later we moved the pots.
They called the local council neighborhood disputes team - I explained to them about the bahaviour, which included them knocking on walls, flicking the blinds everytime I am out in our own garden, vacuuming at weird odd hours of the day. The upshot was the concil agreed with us - THEY were being antisocial.

We got a wall built between the houses on our side of te plans dividing line, with about 4 inches of our ground on their side of the wall. Weeds grew. I was out painting the fence (on our side) picked a weed as the male half of nextdoor came out "Dont pick our weeks " I swear he actually said that!

Husband suggested we call antisocial dept at the council to advise them of this for their files. They came out and again agreed that the neighbours were totally in the wrong.

Their garden and house is an untidy mess. Their tenancy their issue not mine I know. Someone has contacted tehir landlords about the mess and lack of care they are showing on their property.
They are not on benefits, both have good jobs, two childrenso poverty is not an excuse.

Is it me?

[Drumple]

It’s both of you.

You sound weird over the banging noise at 5am and reporting him for asking you not to pick weeds.

They sound weird for not moving the pots.

[BlueSlice]

You’ve posted this before, what’s changed?

If something in my house made a massive crash (like the cat knocking something over) at 5AM then I wouldn’t want to get up and tell my next door neighbour all about it.

You come across like you’re very involved and obsessing. Have you tried just ignoring them?

[HijabiVenus]

The noise was not like a cat knocking something over. Itwn as like someone falling downstairs, or a wardrobe falling over. There was a cry and then nothing. We were worried someone had fallen downstairs.

We did not report them for just the weed picking - we though them rattling their blinds everytime we went out weird, we thought them weird for staring out when I was in the garden but not my husband. We wanted to let the antisocial team (whom they can called in the first instance) know that it was not us, in case the neighbours made up,another cockandbull story.

[Drumple]

Can you find something to do to distract you from worrying about them

[BlueSlice]

We were worried someone had fallen downstairs.

Totally understand, and it was nice of you to want to check on them. But they don’t owe you any kind of explanation - they are not at fault for not answering the door to you at 5am or any of the subsequent times you followed up. You were being weird for pushing it so much.

[HijabiVenus]

I appreciate they dont owe us an explanation for the noise at 5,00. I think it weird that they complained to the concil because we put a note through the door saying we were concerned about the noise, in case someone was injured. They complained to the council about us putting things through their letterbox.

I'm not worry about them. The constant knocking is a nuisance, but I'm thinking about taking up a musical instrument. we have had the walls insulated to 10 cm and that reduces the noise somewhat.

[BlueSlice]

You posted about this ages ago. Has anything changed since last time?

[UnfinishedSymphon]

They rattle their blinds at you? You must be staring at their house constantly to notice this and why can't they vacuum during the day, what's weird and odd about that?

It sounds like 6 of one and half a dozen of the other