Party Girls - Why are they perceived as being better?

[Lonoxo]

(Over)thinking in lockdown back to my youth. I’m bookish, not a heavy drinker, do have friends and enjoy socialising. But throughout my life I’ve been looked down by party girls. The girls who wear a lot of make-up, different party dress at each occasion, drink a lot, out late. It wouldn’t be so bad if there was an acknowledgement of us just being different people but there’s a definite superiority thing going on. It started young for me among my own family. My younger sister used to laugh at the fact that I liked reading in my room instead of joining in with loud games. Just wondering why these people think they’re better.

[stellabelle]

I don't believe they are "perceived" as being better - that would mean that other people thought they were better. I doubt that anyone outside of Instagram, thinks that such girls are better .

Ignore your sister, and stop beating yourself up because you don't fit into the mythical mold of "the party girl".

[Waxonwaxoff0]

I suppose I'm a "party girl" I love a good night out and having a drink. I don't think I'm better than anyone though, everyone likes different things. Just sounds like you've had unfortunate experiences with women who aren't very nice.

[BigSandyBalls2015]

A ‘friend’ once described my DDs group of friends as ‘party girls, not very academic’ .... I quickly put her straight that’s it’s possibie to be both ... a lot of these girls are now at some top universities.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

I was definitely a party girl. I love a good night out or in drinking (don't get much opportunity now) I never looked down on people like you OP, infact I've always wished I could be more like you, but it's just not my personality.

[Lonoxo]

@stellabelle - me and my sister don’t get along great. I’ve ignored her most of my life but decided from now on, I’m going to call her out more on things. I don’t want to fit “the party girl” mold though.

@Waxonwaxoff0
I think you are right, unlucky to meet some not so nice people. One person actually expressed surprise that I was out. I’m mean I’m not a hermit! One girl even asked me if I was thinking of doing a makeover. I never commented on how much she was wearing and the fact she was always late because it took her so long to do her makeup.

[Brieminewine]

Well I was what you would describe as a ‘party girl’ and I’ve never looked down on anyone or judged anyone for being bookish. I am academic and enjoy reading as well as wearing make up and party dresses, it is possible to be both.

You sound rather judgemental tbh.

[badacorn]

People are nasty to each other sometimes. It’s nothing to do with how much you like books, or makeup or new dresses. To be honest I see a lot of people looking down on what you call party girl behaviour.

[mumchkin]

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - I've been both bookish (still am) and a "party girl" in my life (maybe without the heavy makeup) and nobody is ever 100% sure of themselves or where they are in life. I say sod em, enjoy those delicious book, embrace the JOMO (joy of missing out) and just do you! It's the best way, I promise

[implantsandaDyson]

My sister used to laugh at how much I read, I just told her to feck off and annoy somebody else. You and your sister don't get along, doesn't sound like you get along with her friends - that's alright, you don't have to like everybody and everybody doesn't have to like you.
I'm a wild reader,always have been. I also used to love to stay out and drink and dance and spend time with my friends. One doesn't preclude the other. You seem very keen to pigeon people into boxes?

Anecdotally among my friends, those who read voraciously can often come over a touch superior- all this "I couldn't live in a house without books", "to read is to live", "never trust someone with a bigger tv than a bookshelf" wankery.

[Cam2020]

I used to be a 'party girl' in my younger years and went to some lengths to keep that private as I think it would have undermined me professionally.

A much younger colleague's jaw recently dropped when I contributed to a conversation about Ibiza and it was apparent I knew something about it .

[Cam2020]

I also read English at uni, love history and art, I should have added.

This is not Matilda!

I don't think being a party girl is seen as desirable after uni but fun people will always be in demand.

[Meganplays]

I know what you mean OP. There’s an undercurrent of thinking that party girls are fun and sociable and quieter women are judgemental and boring. I’ve always got a lot of negative reactions if I don’t want to drink on a night out.

[Staplemaple]

I actually think it's the opposite, many people look down on those that go out alot as they sit at home by themselves.

[Hairthrowaway]

I think you’re just projecting your sister issues onto “party girls”. Your problem is with one person, not everyone else.

“Party girls” can simultaneously enjoy quiet weekends-in reading, these aren’t mutually exclusive personality traits. People could alternatively say that homebodies look down on people that go out a lot too - not everyone aspires to be a “party girl”

I went to university studying a psychology degree at a top London university - some aspects of my course were fairly intense so I did have to be very studious, but I also enjoyed going out. I don’t look down on anyone, if anything it’s nice having friends from different walks of life.

[RosieLemonade]

You clearly think you are superior to “Party Girls”

[MenaiMna]

This does sound like mean girls rather than party girls - I partied pretty hard in my day and I didn't necessarily get all dolled up every time to do it!
"One girl even asked me if I was thinking of doing a makeover. I never commented on how much she was wearing and the fact she was always late because it took her so long to do her makeup." I would have replied "Do you know how rude you are?" And held the awkward silence until she answered.
You could answer a question about a makeover "I'm very happy with how I look already" or "I've got more fulfilling things to do with my time than worry about my makeup".
If a person loves makeup & that's their self expression then good for them but equally what you love is good for you.
And don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from!

[Lucindainthesky]

I did English at a RG uni and went out all the time. Lots of parties, alcohol and drugs. Being bookish and being a party girl certainly weren't mutually exclusive!

People who enjoy going out don't look down on those who don't, why on earth would they? We're all different!

[Fluffycloudland77]

I’ve found this too, introverts can see how extroverts would enjoy going out etc but not the other way around. I’ve been told “you might enjoy it”.

I won’t. I know I won’t. There is nothing more dull than a standard issue wedding reception with crap dj, overpriced drinks & a buffet from the freezer section at booker even if it is in a fancy hotel.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

@Fluffycloudland77 I'm an extrovert and I understand that introverts don't enjoy some of the things I enjoy. I hate this perception that all extroverts are ignorant to the feelings of others.

[TakeASadSong]

Are people always either one or the other? I was academic and an avid reader as a teen and young woman, but also massively into clubs, fashion and ‘having a good time’.

Probably best to focus on what makes you happy and not what other people think of you.

[StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff]

Tbh you sound equally as judgemental to 'party girls' as they supposedly are to you

[Lonoxo]

@implantsandaDyson. They called themselves party girls and I don’t think they included me among their number.

I don’t think partying and being intelligent are mutually exclusive. I’m not against fun! Both my sister and I went to uni. I did socialise a fair amount too, that’s how I met these girls. It’s just they party much harder.

@RosieLemonade. I don’t think I’m superior, it was the other way round. I just wanted a pleasant night out, I didn’t need those comments.

@MenaiMna. I did respond tersely with “what’s wrong with me” but surely someone must think they are better than another person to even ask a question like that?

@Fluffycloudland77. All this happened before Susan Cain shone the spotlight on introversion and it became acceptable to be an introvert.

[Lyricallie]

Yea I definitely get the vibe that people look down on "party girls" more. I am both. I went to Ibiza with the girls, had my body con dress and a hella lot of glitter whilst at Oceanbeach. However I love a fantasy book, give me a dragon and a complicated magic system and I'm on board. I love board games and I love sticky nightclubs. People are multifaceted. Yet "party girls" can't be?