The reality of life living with Covid has just really sunk in this weekend, and I am finding it tough tonight.

[Belleende]

In all the ways that matter I am one of the very fortunate ones. Lovely healthy family, I credibly supportive partner, own our wee house, live in a town I love, reasonable job security.

Like many others, i cancelled every holiday we had planned, I made a makeshift office in our bedroom, I became the simultaneous teacher, employee and parent, I stayed home, made the most of our wee garden. I have worried about how and when I might see my elderly parents again. Like everyone else it was hard but had to be done.

We deliberately chose a life full of simple pleasures rather than luxuries. As lock down has eased I am seeing the new reality and many of the things we counted as simple pleasures just aren't pleasurable any more.

Our local farm re opened and it was pretty joyless, lots of queuing in the sun for ages to get five minutes in the playground and then having to carry DD off kicking and screaming, most of the animals not there, no sandpit, no cafe. Left after an hour.

Today DD had her swimming lessons restart. Her dad wasn't allowed to swim in the empty pool, there was no play time before or after the lesson. She really did nt enjoy it.

Local splash Park just doesn't work, if your kid wanders out they have to queue to get back in, try explaining that to a two year old.

Having spent a bit of time this weekend looking at the research and the global experience, this is it for the foreseeable. We are not going back to anything resembling normal for years. For some reasons, it is the loss of these small things that has affected more than anything else. Perhaps the straw that broke the camels back. Added to the increasing liklihood that schools will not be reopening as normal come September, and the feeling of wi ter looming with few options to do stuff with the kids and I am not liking life right now.

Anyone want to join my pity party?

[everythingisginandroses]

It's hard when our formerly simple, easy-going pleasures become fraught with difficulty. We enjoyed getting a train to new and familiar places, having a wander and a pub lunch, going to the cricket, weekends in hotels - that"s all gone for now . Our local botanical gardens has so many rules and restrictions ( all necessary, I know) that I just don't want to go, even if I could face the rail journey, which I can't. We are trying hard to be careful as we have all been ill and don't want to catch the bloody thing again, it was miserable. On the positive side, pandemics tend to last a couple of years, so life will get back to normal at some point, whatever that'll turn out to mean. Your DD is very young, so as hard as it is, she will be v adaptable and you'll work things out and get through, we all will

[cazinge]

Totally agree. I am on mat leave with DC2 and I'm considering going back to work early. At least I could afford more nursery for DC1 then and I'll have more people to talk to!

All the things I enjoyed on my first mat leave aren't the same; mooching round the shops, meeting other mums for coffee/cake, pub lunches, baby groups, etc. I tried shopping last week and I hated having to wear a mask (I get why we need to) and I was anxious about people getting too close to DD in her pram so I left after 2 shops.

It's making life twice as hard with DC1 as well, really struggling to entertain him. At least baby groups mean you get out the house. Online baby groups aren't the same and he already had too much screen time during lockdown. Thankfully, he is back at nursery two half days (considering a third). I also worry about taking him to a park incase it's too busy and we have to leave, he would have a total meltdown (he's only just 2).

[inforapennyinforapug]

I feel the same :( I miss care-free spontaneity

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

Me. We took the kids to a local horse rescue today, they didn't enjoy it and we didn't enjoy it. I want to support local things but am finding it increasingly hard. My 5 year old wants stuff to be how it was back in February and whilst he understands, he finds it very upsetting. I'm not sure I can manage a year of living like this as I can't list a single thing I've found enjoyable since lockdown started let alone lifted. Coronavirus has already shattered all my stupid hopes for the future. I thought my mental health had recovered (ptsd) enough for me to go back to work and do something worthwhile with the rest of my life but turns out I was wrong. Right now, I don't believe I'll ever work again.

[ssd]

I find it sad watching TV programmes made pre covid, they look so normal and nice.

[Velvetpeel]

I agree. I was doing fine and feeling more positive. But the local lockdowns and press conference on Friday has totally bummed me out.
Like OP we did well and got through lock down in quite a positive way (even though it was hard) but everything just feels bleak now. Like the joy has been taken from most things.

[Velvetpeel]

It’s like a really bad dream that won’t go away

[bloodywhitecat]

We are potentially facing a cancer diagnosis for OH tomorrow, a cancer with a low survival rate and if it is I know I will be limited on what appointments I can attend with him and how often I will be able to visit him in hospital. Added to that I am not supposed to have another adult hug me when the going gets tough. 2020 is shaping up to be a shit year.

[Velvetpeel]

@ssd Me too

[Velvetpeel]

@bloodywhitecat Sending you virtual hugs for tomorrow

[HandsDownRoundTheTown]

I don’t feel this way. I‘m with you in enjoying life’s smaller and simple pleasures but I really see those coming back: charity shops, playgrounds in parks, Museums, Sitting outside a cafe having a coffee. All those things are possible now, albeit with masks for shopping / indoor. I think we’re moving in the right direction to a new normal - a much more monitored and controlled society (eg quarantine Or local lockdown could be imposed At any time) and taking precautions we haven’t in the past (mask wearing).

[HandsDownRoundTheTown]

I don’t have any advice as to how you get there as everyone’s situation is so different. But thought you might appreciate a positive perspective.

[Velvetpeel]

@HandsDownRoundTheTown I thought that too last week but the infection increase and Northern lockdowns show that that is all on a knife edge

[Didyousaynutella]

Agree. The kids are getting the worst of it. While adults can resume most of theirs activities children can’t. My gym has opened to adults and not to children. The crèche hasn’t Opened either so I have had to cancel my membership. My daughters swimming lessons were there so no lessons. Her gymnastics hasn’t started and is unlikely to. The soft plays aren’t opening yet and don’t look like they will now. I struggle to take them to restaurants. In the past we sat outside if we could or at a cafe with toys they could play with. No there are no toys and lots of people are outside so I feel the anxiety around us for our children if they ever dare to get off their tables. What on earth are we going to to this winter when we cant be outside all the time? Why does no one seem to care that the children’s lives are affected more than anyone’s over an illness that barely affects them. This is supposed to be the best time of there lives.

[Jussayingisall]

There is nothing I can't do now that I didn't do before so feels pretty normal to me. Less people in theme parks etc is a blessing too.

[LizzieBennett70]

I'm over it too OP.

Feels like we've turned into a nation of hypochondriacs.

We've got a population in the UK of nearly 68 million, and we've had 320,000 cases. Giving a percentage of 0.5% of the population.

It's bordering insanity. And I'm so sick of the frothing at the mouth hysteria.

[HandsDownRoundTheTown]

@Velvetpeel - yes that’s true. And I accept that monitor / control stuff. We will all need to change our perception of freedoms as this continues. I support local lockdowns as a more targeted measure to limit infection while not grinding the economy to a halt again. The more we mask / SD / santitise etc the less lockdowns will be needed so I see this as inevitable but decreasing over time.

[Coldspringharbour]

It’s been five months. Our previous generations had a shit time for years whilst the wars were on. I think you need to build a bit of resilience. I think we all do.

[anonm]

@bloodywhitecat

[ChubbyPigeon]

I feel the same OP

I was fine in lockdown, didnt enjoy it but got through. I saw it as temporary difficulty, at some point it will be over, wasnt expecting it to be over quickly. I was shouting about needing it to end like others

Then lockdown was easing, and I was fine. I didnt mind it being a slow, gentle ease because this meant at some point it will end.

But now it seems so precarious, i feel like we can so easily slip back into how it was at the start. I dont see how it can end, and Im not able to just feel comfortable living with the virus. Everyone keeps saying well we've got to learn to live with it now, like this is easy. But the virus is just as risky to my grandparents, to my vunerable parents as before and I dont see how i can just learn to live with that risk to them

Everything I used to enjoy is fraught with stress, relentless queuing for everything - constant policing, constantly being alert. I just want to relax

[anonm]

I have found it really tough this weekend. The lockdown was really hard, I had to juggle work, home schooling, toddler & a relative died. I put on weight because I just didn't have time for much exercise & I love food but mentally I was ok. DC went back to school for a bit & I caught up with work, had my hair cut etc & was feeling really positive. This last week I've felt so flat, I just don't feel like doing anything & everything seems pointless.

[IndecentFeminist]

Yup. Our actual lives are lovely, but my mum has ended up on a psych ward as a result of lockdown (anxiety and resulting physical issues) and is still there. God knows when she'll be out, and what state she'll be in then. Knowing that she is in there taints everything else I do, and knowing that life on the outside isn't the same worries me, how she'll react

[anonm]

@Coldspringharbour are you saying people back then didn't mind the shit time they were in?

[ChubbyPigeon]

I think what I am finding tough is just the relentless judgement from others. Relentless control on when i can go to the toilet, put your mask on, keep your distance, sanitise your hands. I feel like Im at school and constantly on edge of being told off, and Im not even purposefully breaking the rules. I just feel on edge all the time

[Lovelydovey]

I’m fed up too. Working from home for 4+ months, husband and children at home too. Fed up of parks and walks, no swimming, live sport to watch, no train journeys to explore new places or go into central London. Everything needs to be booked in advance killing any spontaneity and with loads of restrictions and new rules, and a constant feeling of anxiety both because you don’t know the new rules and neither does anyone else, and constant anxiety as you risk assess every new activity before and while you are doing it.