Talk

Advanced search

At what age do you tell your kids how babies are made?

(63 Posts)
Teacher12345 Sun 02-Aug-20 09:01:01

My son is 7. He has asked a couple times and I have managed to skirt around it. I don't want to lie to him but "man puts penis in vagina" sounds too grown up for 7. That said, a cousin of mine told her son just that at age 4 when he asked.
What have you said so far?

OP’s posts: |
SnuggyBuggy Sun 02-Aug-20 09:04:03

Whenever they ask and none of that special cuddle bollocks just simple facts. I think it's best to be truthful from the start with maybe modified language if young.

I'm in my 30s and still think that "man puts penis in vagina" sounds silly and like something someone made up in the playground even though I've made babies this way grin

SnakesOrLadders Sun 02-Aug-20 09:04:24

My dd is 7 she asked about a year ago and I skirted around it. But we watch cbbc medical programme recently and one episode was about periods starting which we had a chat about. So will build on that I think.
Dh thinks it’s too early but I started my periods when I was 10 and had no idea what was happening as I’d never been told which seems ridiculous tbh.

EducatingArti Sun 02-Aug-20 09:04:32

Age appropriate explanation s and increase information as they ask. If he asks how a man's sperm gets to the woman's egg, then you tell him.

Breathmiller Sun 02-Aug-20 09:15:57

I have a rule of just answering the question they ask. Rather than a big event of 'right.. im going to sit down and go through the whole thing'.
So after 4 children it has tended to start with periods and eggs and womb with them all
We have just been asked by my 9 year old how the sperm reaches the egg. So he didn't ask that before. He just asked about the mechanics of the eggs and the female reproductive system. It also led onto contraception.
Hes very matter of fact about it all because we have been I suppose.
My eldest daughter is going through IVF so we even ended up on that converstion.
So the conversation started years ago when he asked why i bled every month.. i explained that when I didn't have a baby in my belly that I didn't need it.
And every now and again another question would arise and I would answer just as normally as I would answer a medical question about my arm or my leg.
And then here we are.
I was out with a friend the other day who was telling me her daughter was going through IVF too. He asked me what it was again and i started to answer and he matter of a factly said "oh yeah..when they take the egg out and the sperm and egg are put together and then put back in" . No big deal between any of us. She just agreed and then he ran off. All a bit of a non event.

megletthesecond Sun 02-Aug-20 09:22:33

Mine knew in reception year. We had a book about it.

Leaving them to ask means they might not ask until they're 9/10. You wouldn't not tell them how your heart pumps or their food is digestived would you? If you get biology out of the way early it's easier to deal with the really messy relationship stuff as they grow up.

RowboatsinDisguise Sun 02-Aug-20 10:29:44

What @Breathmiller said really. Just leak bits of information as you go along, as and when they ask.

At 7 I was definitely hearing all sorts of bollocks on the playground so I think it’s wise to be having factual chats by then.

KittyFantastico Sun 02-Aug-20 10:45:40

We've also told ours as we go along as part of an ongoing conversation.

It started off fairly vaguely with "daddy helped to make the baby and then mummy grows the baby inside her tummy" when oldest was very young and I was pregnant with DC2 then gradually evolved over the years to include more information. We followed their leads and have always answered their questions honestly, I'd rather get a little bit pink cheeked answering my 11yo when he asked "why do people have sex for fun?" or "what's a condom?" than have him reach an age where sex is becoming possibility and him not know all the facts.

KittyFantastico Sun 02-Aug-20 10:47:47

Saying that though, my 11yo is thoroughly disgusted that DH and I have "done sex four times!" (four DC) grin

C8H10N4O2 Sun 02-Aug-20 10:49:47

I have a rule of just answering the question they ask

This is exactly what we did, based on advice of friends with older children (and a book by Libby Purves IIRC).

Its very easy to over answer. Just follow their pace, always answer the question but don't go beyond it. Let them follow up when they want to.

Iwalkinmyclothing Sun 02-Aug-20 10:50:20

As soon as they ask which iirc is usually around 3.

SimonJT Sun 02-Aug-20 10:51:06

Mines five and he was four when I told him that most babies are made when a man puts his penis in a womans vagina and a lots of tiny sperm ‘swim’ to the ladies egg, then the baby grows inside the woman.

Breathmiller Sun 02-Aug-20 10:53:23

Haha kitty
Yes, when i was heavily pregnant with my last, my son who was 7 came out of school saying he had been reading a book in the school library about how babies were made. He looked my pregnant bump up and down and with a look of disgust as if to say "so i KNOW what you and dad have been doing" grin

OneRingToRuleThemAll Sun 02-Aug-20 10:55:07

I made up a story based loosely around build a bear. I chose them because they are my favourite, filled them with fluff, popped a heart in them and sewed them up at the seams. They loved hearing all about this.

They are 9 and 12 now and know this isn't how they were made. But they still talk fondly of the story.

Lockdownseperation Sun 02-Aug-20 10:55:27

At nearly 4 when “Daddy puts a seed in Mummy‘S egg” was nolonger enough answer for her and she wanted to know how.

SandieCheeks Sun 02-Aug-20 10:56:44

Mine knew from about 3.

Stinkyjellycat Sun 02-Aug-20 10:58:49

I was really young when I learned about this- probably 4 or 5. My parents gave me a book called How Babies are Made. It was a Danish book from the 70s and even as a child I thought it explained everything brilliantly, and I still do grin
The pictures are very dated but I think it explains the biology really well:
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/art-sheep.com/how-a-baby-is-made-is-the-most-traumatizing-childrens-book-in-the-world/amp/

Stinkyjellycat Sun 02-Aug-20 11:00:25

Clearly the author of that blog doesn’t agree with me!

JizzPigeon22 Sun 02-Aug-20 11:02:11

My 5 year old can explain how babies are made.

Aroundtheworldin80moves Sun 02-Aug-20 11:02:29

My 7yo thinks babies are made by kissing on the lips. She is rather disgusted by adults kissing like that now. My 9yo runs away when I try to talk to her about puberty.

I'm definitely going on this bit of parenthood...

Teacher12345 Sun 02-Aug-20 11:03:48

Thanks all. He is obsessed with science so it makes sense that I would answer is a factual and scientific manner.

OP’s posts: |
JellyBabiesSaveLives Sun 02-Aug-20 11:09:59

I did the “wait to answer what they ask” thing with my eldest.

She didn’t ask.

Until the day I collected her from Brownies and a voice from the back of the car says “Mum, Lucy’s mum is having a baby but they don’t want it so they’re not keeping it. How does a baby get in your tummy when you don’t want it and how do you make it go away?”

Nearly crashed the car. Had to explain conception, contraception and abortion all in one go.

And then I read “Mummy laid an egg” to her younger siblings when they were in their cradles ...

RowboatsinDisguise Sun 02-Aug-20 11:12:22

JellyBabiesSaveLives

I did the “wait to answer what they ask” thing with my eldest.

She didn’t ask.

Until the day I collected her from Brownies and a voice from the back of the car says “Mum, Lucy’s mum is having a baby but they don’t want it so they’re not keeping it. How does a baby get in your tummy when you don’t want it and how do you make it go away?”

Nearly crashed the car. Had to explain conception, contraception and abortion all in one go.

And then I read “Mummy laid an egg” to her younger siblings when they were in their cradles ...

Goodness I’m all for telling kids the truth but Lucy’s parents seem to have given her a bit too much information there! What an emotional burden for a little girl!

Dragonsanddinosaurs Sun 02-Aug-20 11:26:58

I think DS was about 3 or 4. I tried to treat it the same as if he'd asked any other biology related question, and give him simple facts.

Echobelly Sun 02-Aug-20 11:29:29

DD asked us in the car park at Brent Cross when she was 8 confused DH was going to defer the question, but then he just told her, she said 'Urgh!' and that was the end of it for a bit, but we have discussed a bit since then, especially after PSHE lessons at school about this stuff - she's 12 now.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in