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How will moving hours three times in less than a year affect my children?

(14 Posts)
mcgonagalscat Sat 25-Jul-20 18:00:22

Husband works in finance and has been made redundant. I'm on maternity leave.

We have to move out of rented accommodation as can't afford to pay it from next month. Will move into my parents until end of Dec which is 3 hours from where we live. After that we will move back this way to live with DH parents, as I will start back at work then and need to be near. Then we are moving completely out of the area to buy our first house, 4 hours away.

The first home has been planned for next year for a long time, we have some deposit money but will need to save more this year. It makes sense to live with parents (who are happy to have us) and pay keep which is less than our rent would be. This means we can save everything possible for house deposit.

We can't move in with DH parents straight away as another family member currently there so would be too much of a squeeze. They are moving out in Dec.

Is this going to affect the kids negatively? DS1 is nearly 3 and DS2 weeks old

OP’s posts: |
Merename Sat 25-Jul-20 18:05:10

I think change can be unsettling obviously, but the fact you are aware of it means you will be able to support them with how they feel. Predictability really helps kids feel secure, so the more you can prepare your older one for the transition by talking about what will happen, photos, information, timescales, the better. The wee one is less likely to be affected but may be unsettled with new environments - just loads of love and cuddles and understanding needed I think! Try not to worry - kids are more robust than we usually give them credit for.

Toomboom Sat 25-Jul-20 18:11:02

Children, especially this age, are very resilient and cope well. As long as they have the people around them who love them, they will be fine.

Llareggub Sat 25-Jul-20 18:13:40

Look at the positives; not that many grandchildren get to hang out with their grandparents for an extended period.

mcgonagalscat Sat 25-Jul-20 18:40:30

Yes that's true @Llareggub - my eldest is very close to both grandparents also. The one set he sees almost every day, and the other every two weeks. I think it will be strange for him going there and he will be expecting to come home again, but won't.

I might try and find some story books about moving house to get him used to the idea!

OP’s posts: |
EasilyDelighted Sat 25-Jul-20 18:45:24

I think it'll be fine, it would be harder if they were older and chopping and changing schools.

RhianFuckingMorris Sat 25-Jul-20 18:47:49

Just put the positive spin on it for the k8ds. I'm not saying bullshit them but avoid moaning and discussing your own fears worries or stresses infront of them.
We've led a pretty nomadic life due to jobs. Kids adapt pretty well. It's once they reach the teen years it gets more difficult.

happytoday73 Sat 25-Jul-20 19:08:56

Kids will be fine. Advantage is extra time with family.

Will you be given the mortgage to buy 1st house if your husband is either not working or in a new job?

OnlyFoolsnMothers Sat 25-Jul-20 19:12:13

Doubt an issue at such an age with no school issues

mcgonagalscat Sat 25-Jul-20 19:17:35

@happytoday73 praying he finds a job really quickly!

OP’s posts: |
NikeDeLaSwoosh Sat 25-Jul-20 20:02:10

mcgonagalscat

*@happytoday73* praying he finds a job really quickly!

Not wishing to put a downer on your plans, but he would usually need to have been in stable employment for at least 6 months to be accepted for a mortgage. Unless you have a huge deposit which it sounds like you don't.

I agree with PP about the moving plans - DC at that age are very resilient and will take your lead. If you put a positive spin on it, they are likely to also see the benefits.

It will be lovely for them to spend time with the GPs too...

Dinosauratemydaffodils Sat 25-Jul-20 20:33:19

At that age, not all. I was a military brat, by the time I was 3 I was in my third country and house number 5. It only became an issue once schools got factored in and I got sick of always being the new girl mid term.

Craiglang Sat 25-Jul-20 20:39:24

At that age, it's fine. You're not uprooting DC from school during exam years. They're much more resilient than you think and being surrounded by family sounds great, a big adventure.

I moved a lot when I was a kid. I attended three primary schools and two secondary. I think the only long term effect was that as an adult I loath moving and, unless it's absolutely unavoidable, I won't be moving now my DC are at school.

Ishihtzuknot Sat 25-Jul-20 23:12:19

Kids adapt really well. We moved 3 times in one year around 3 years ago as we had to leave our rented home and rent short term accommodation until we found something long term. It wasn’t ideal and we never felt settled, but it was somewhere to sleep and eat. We made it fun, like an adventure/holiday and let routine slip a bit, they sometimes bring it up remembering the fun we had. Your children are still very young so they won’t remember. Look at it as a positive change and that once it is over you’ll be settled for life. Good luck.

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