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Help- I feel like I'm losing the plot

(11 Posts)
TheShining Fri 24-Jul-20 01:49:20

I posted this in AIBU by accident, so apologies for the duplicate thread...

my 8yo is driving me to despair.

We escaped DV a year ago. We moved into temporary accommodation late last year, and have just been allocated a house. I just wanted to give a little background, because I'm aware our situation is chaotic at present, which could be contributing to his behavior.

Some of it is normal "kid stuff": pushing boundaries, etc.

Other behavior isn't, and that's what's making me so desperate.

He pees on the carpet.

He's gouged at the wall with a knife.

He's lied (to me) about me hitting him: he swears it happened. I've never touched him.

I can't take my eyes off him for a minute. I feel I'm neglecting my eldest (DS13), who has self harmed due to the hell that we left (he's having counseling).

I'm sorry if this sounds disjointed: I've just come back to bed after another kick off, because I caught him peeing on the carpet (he was awake), and he had an hour long tantrum, denying he'd done it (I caught him!)

I'm exhausted.

OP’s posts: |
FortunesFave Fri 24-Jul-20 02:01:44

Are they receiving counselling OP? it sounds like both children and you need it badly.

TheShining Fri 24-Jul-20 02:08:05

FortunesFave

Are they receiving counselling OP? it sounds like both children and you need it badly.

They were- and then COVID19 happened, which delayed things. We've just moved areas too, so we'll be back on the waiting list I guess.

OP’s posts: |
Gilead Fri 24-Jul-20 02:37:27

Poor you, poor him. I guess it’s all the upheavel. You need to get hold of your GP and get them to inform Camhs Crisis team. That way help should be pretty much immediate.
Good luck.
💐

FrustratedMess Fri 24-Jul-20 02:39:16

He is clearly very effected by the past, as are all of you.

Can you access anything online for him?
Untill he can actually see someone in person again?

TheShining Fri 24-Jul-20 02:48:48

Thank you! I was petrified of being called a bad parent! In fact, I was so anxious about being judged, I posted on the MH topic about my anxiety!

OP’s posts: |
TheShining Fri 24-Jul-20 02:56:25

FrustratedMess

He is clearly very effected by the past, as are all of you.

Can you access anything online for him?
Untill he can actually see someone in person again?

Would you be able to suggest anything?

He was receiving support from Banardos, to whom he was referred by the DV organization we accessed support from. That was before we moved areas.

I want him pain free, and feeling safe. I don't know whether I've dragged him from one hell to another!

I think it may be getting to me more, because (please don't think I'm whining- I'm lucky to be alive!) I haven't had even an hour away from him since March. We have no support network in the town we're in- i had to move far away to escape my XP, so I'm all they have. I don't really get respite when they're in bed, because I'm still sleeping with one eye open due to PTSD caused by what XP put us through: I'm "on guard" 24/7.

OP’s posts: |
FrustratedMess Fri 24-Jul-20 03:12:30

Sounds like you all need alot of help.

Can you contact banardos again and see if they can offer you anything

Well done for leaving

ThelmaDinkley Fri 24-Jul-20 06:33:37

Hi OP sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. Could you contact Women’s Aid and ask for some help? Also are you signed up to a GP as you need to get them to access some help for you all. I’m not sure if the local authority early help scheme could help as well. Hope things get better for you all flowers

Gilead Fri 24-Jul-20 07:50:18

There will be a women’s aid in your new town, they will help direct you to appropriate services.

Gilead Sun 26-Jul-20 13:45:43

Hope you are well and getting the help you need. 💐

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