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Would you accept this money?

(16 Posts)
Napqueen1234 Mon 20-Jul-20 13:23:48

Firstly I’m sorry if people think this is a stealth boast it’s not intended that way at all.

Long story short we bought our house with the plan of extending it turning it from a smallish terrace to a good family home. We spoke to the bank a couple of years ago and they said we could easily remortgage to release equity and do this. Since then covid has obviously happened and we have had another baby so my pay is lower and higher childcare costs. We went back to the bank who can now loan us significantly less (8k instead of £35k!).

Disappointing but we accepted this and are grateful to have our jobs and a home at all really. I spoke to my mum and it came up as she knew our plans and I just said oh it’s not happening sadly will have to save/wait and see.

Next time I see them they sat me down (DH was working away) and said they would like to give us the money. Not a loan- just give it to us. They are both retired but have amazing pensions (4/5 times my salary now!) they worked incredibly hard but have always said they benefited from inflation and hugely rising house prices etc. The jobs they had wouldn’t earn anywhere near that salary now so they’ve been very fortunate with timings etc. But obviously it’s their hard earned money whether lucky or not.

When I say they have money they have LOTS of savings, good pensions, due inheritance in the next 20 years of £600k+ after tax and own a £2.5 million property which they plan to downsize out of.

They gave us money towards our first deposit years ago and to our wedding but it wasn’t a huge amount either time.

Would you graciously and gratefully accept? Or would you feel guilty? we are so lucky and privileged to be in this position but it’s such a lot of money I don’t want to be one of those entitled children taking their parents money.

OP’s posts: |
sorryiasked Mon 20-Jul-20 13:25:49

Based on the fact that your parents are very comfortably off, and presumably you would inherit in due course anyway, I would accept the money now.

superram Mon 20-Jul-20 13:26:57

I’d take it-better to have it to improve your life now rather than the state takes it for their care, inheritance tax, etc.

123rd Mon 20-Jul-20 13:27:05

Do you have any siblings that might be annoyed at the gift ?

HirplesWithHaggis Mon 20-Jul-20 13:27:29

Take it, with grateful thanks. You're not acting entitled at all.

guidedogneeded Mon 20-Jul-20 13:28:00

Obviously it depends if you have a good relationship and would they ever hold it over you?
I've a great relationship with my parents and would accept it no problems. Infact I already know my parents have a chunk put aside for a deposit for when dh and I buy a house as they have already done the same for my siblings.
I hope I'll be able to do the same for my dc one day. Why would anyone want to sit on all that money when they could be helping out the people they love.

britnay Mon 20-Jul-20 13:28:42

Rather take it now as a gift. They can give you £3k each year without it being taxed.

You'll have to pay tax on any inheritance you receive anyway.

Lsquiggles Mon 20-Jul-20 13:29:25

How kind of your parents! I'd accept it

Napqueen1234 Mon 20-Jul-20 13:29:27

@123rd I have three siblings but my parents have made it very clear that if they ever needed help they could happily afford to spend that on each of us and would prefer to do it as and when. I have a younger brother who is in an unstable industry hugely affected by covid and I’m sure my parents will help him through financially and none of our siblings would begrudge that or expect like to like help IYSWIM.

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vinoandbrie Mon 20-Jul-20 13:29:31

Of course accept. No brainer as far as I’m concerned. They will get so much pleasure from seeing the difference it makes to you when they are alive, rather than waiting until they are dead and you’d inherit it anyway. The gift is clearly not going to deprive your parents of money for anything they would have wanted for themselves.

Also, if they survive seven years from date of gift then it drops out of their estate for inheritance planning - so makes sense from an IHT perspective as well.

EhUp Mon 20-Jul-20 13:29:54

Unless there is a back story that you haven't mentioned about your parents and your relationship with them then yes I would gratefully accept the offer

It sounds like they can afford to give you the money without it having a significant impact on their lifestyle

imalittlethrowaway Mon 20-Jul-20 13:33:55

Yes I would. I’m in a similar position with my parents, and if they offer and it doesn’t affect their quality of life I would accept for sure

Benny739 Mon 20-Jul-20 13:34:11

Yes of course! If I were in your parents position I’d be giving you all as much as possible to make life as comfortable as possible for you.

Napqueen1234 Mon 20-Jul-20 14:00:57

Thanks all!

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MeanMrMustardSeed Mon 20-Jul-20 14:04:12

Of course I would! Good luck with the work.

Napqueen1234 Mon 20-Jul-20 16:25:41

Thank you @MeanMrMustardSeed smile I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted. I’ll definitely owe them and pay them back in due course by looking after them in old age!

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