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Lockdown easing but relatives still not wanting to see us

(13 Posts)
TheWurzelsFromTheWestCountry Sun 19-Jul-20 20:54:31

We live 2.5 hours away from my daughter and Son in Law and my grandchild who is 4. Obviously lockdown meant they couldn’t come and see us, lockdown has now eased and my daughter has driven down only twice on her own to see us. She says it’s too far to bring my grandchild to see us for just a few hours. Once a couple of weeks ago she visited and once a couple of days ago. She was worried about coming in the house so as the weather was good we just sat outside both times. I have suggested we get the train (we don’t drive) to see them and stay for a few days but my daughter doesn’t want us being in the house yet because of Covid. I feel slightly fed up and unwanted. Are they over reacting and I’m wondering if they are trying to avoid us. Would you be annoyed at their what we perceive to be over reaction with Covid? Normally we stay every two months.

OP’s posts: |
EhUp Sun 19-Jul-20 21:01:58

I doubt it is anything personal, especially as your DD has travelled to visit you twice

Having overnight guests does add another level of risk so I would say if your DD and family aren't comfortable with it then you just have to accept

Perhaps suggest meeting up half way for the day?

Sugarplumfairy65 Sun 19-Jul-20 21:18:03

Having overnight guests that have taken the train is and increased risk.
Respect you daughter and son in laws boundries and be patient. You may not think covid is a big deal, but They obviously do.
No one has stepped inside my house since mid March and no one will until I'm good and ready. If they tell me that I'm over reacting then they'll probably never set foot inside my house again

Ohsuchaperfectday Sun 19-Jul-20 21:27:11

We need far more context. They take it seriously or seem too, have you? Lots of posts on here about dps thinking it's all stuff and nonsense... Or thinking they are taking it seriously but not mitigating any risks.

Do you see anyone who maybe a risk?

Sounds odd if you normally get on.
Without a doubt I'd be seeing my dm and letting her stay!!

However we will be using covid as an excuse against in laws for as long as possible. Many many reasons but one that may be useful to you is that they only think of themselves and their own health.

Dd has asthma, we get flu jab to try and protect her but in laws, never crosses their mind to protect dd and say flu jabs are stuff and nonsense.

Fil has form for feeding dd from his utensils and even after and during bad colds ill etc even though we asked him not too.
They share ice creams even though they could easily buy 2. So we don't trust them. We don't feel they truly care for dd or think about wider risks etc.

It's very stressful when your worried, rightly or wrongly about something child related and people near you, belittle you.

Is it anything like that op?

I do feel for you it must be hard but there must be a reason.

Comefromaway Sun 19-Jul-20 21:30:34

I agree with your daughter in law. 2.5 hours is way to far to travel more than once a month-6 weeks or so with a young child.

And overnight guests is still too risky.

Comefromaway Sun 19-Jul-20 21:32:06

Sorry daughter, not daughter in law.

You’ve seen her twice in two weeks. I wouldn’t have journeyed that far so often.

cabbageking Sun 19-Jul-20 21:48:32

I wouldn't want anyone staying over night or not keeping their distance sorry. My vulnerable friend is waiting for the right day to come over and we will sit in the garden. Lots of people are still being cautious and limiting contact.
Lock down is relaxing but is not over yet. Not seen my youngest since Feb.

trebletheclef Sun 19-Jul-20 21:55:07

2.5 hours there and 2.5 hours back is too far for a four year old to have to do this regularly. She's done it twice in a fortnight - she's being more than reasonable. And I also understand why she doesn't want house guests who've travelled on a train just yet.

So no, I don't think they're over-reacting. You should consider going for a day trip on the train to visit them, or stay in a hotel and visit them during the day, sitting in the garden/going out to parks.

Dungaree2 Sun 19-Jul-20 22:04:21

She has visited twice already. It's too far to.bring q child for the day.

If you drive, you could have visited for the day, but since you don't, you have to wait until there is less coronavirus in the community if you want to get the train.

Life hasn't returned to normal yet, and it won't for a long time. It's not personal.

Zoomintheroom Sun 19-Jul-20 22:42:51

She's done two five hour journeys to see you! YABU. I live ten minutes away from my parents and have only seen them twice since lockdown finished!

I don't think she is overreacting but I think you are being too needy.

Shizzlestix Sun 19-Jul-20 22:47:49

Their choice, but I think a 2.5 journey is ok for a 4 year old. Why is your daughter so unwilling to travel?

underneaththeash Sun 19-Jul-20 22:54:19

I would suggest that you learn to drive - as I do in every thread where it’s an issue. It’s a basic life skill and impress meets you ability to do a lot of things. My MIL who is useless at many things learn to drive at 60, and if she can do it anyone can.

indemMUND Sun 19-Jul-20 22:58:49

If you're that bothered then get the train, visit for a couple of hours outside and get one back, no need to stay. It's not down to her to make that journey with a small child more frequently than she has been just because you feel this way. Respect her boundaries, you can't set the terms of contact as you see fit.

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