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My friend’s child called me fat I think

(16 Posts)
SnakesOrLadders Sun 19-Jul-20 15:16:44

Just seen a friend out for a walk she was with her children.
One of them was saying something I couldn’t hear but friend did and scolded him saying it was a very nasty thing to say and not to do it again.
We were the only people around and it was obvious it was about me he could have said I was ugly but I think he called me fat.
I am fat....I had a trauma 2 years again and have gained 5 stone since then.
But I’ve beentrying to lose weight over last couple of weeks and felt much better after losing 7lbs- now I just want to cry.

OP’s posts: |
Bluntness100 Sun 19-Jul-20 15:18:20

How old was the child op? It sounds like she dealt with it, but much of this depends on how old the child was. Plus to be fair you don’t actually know what was said,

okeypoke Sun 19-Jul-20 15:18:25

My kid calls me fat.

I AM fat. Kids are factual.

SnakesOrLadders Sun 19-Jul-20 15:21:02

That’s the hard part I am fat so I can’t blame the child for pointing it out but it’s all the other worries....
He’s at school with my child is my child hearing mummy being called fat frequently
I feel embarrassed about going out for walks so it’s made me more self conscious
Etc etc

OP’s posts: |
SnakesOrLadders Sun 19-Jul-20 15:21:16

Child is 6

OP’s posts: |
Dozer Sun 19-Jul-20 15:24:13

Sorry that happened, hurtful, but he’s 6, DC of that age rarely have good tact / manners!

Please don’t let things like that stop you getting exercise and making positive changes for your health.

KatherineJaneway Sun 19-Jul-20 15:43:49

Please don’t let things like that stop you getting exercise and making positive changes for your health.

I agree flowers

Bluntness100 Sun 19-Jul-20 16:00:42

Op kids can be cruel and yes he might be hearing it, there is no point to pretend to you otherwise, but not necessarily from this child. Also your child will know you’re over weight.

The mother dealt with it it seems, you’re doing well don’t let this derail you.

verypeckish Sun 19-Jul-20 16:07:11

Children at that age are continually learning to make comparisons between things all the time. Tall/short, young/old, night/day, sun/moon, big/small, black/white, thin/fat.

They haven't yet grasped the concept that it is bad manners to comment on a person's appearance.

It wouldn't have been meant nastily, don't take it to heart.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 19-Jul-20 16:08:57

Poor you. The child is 6 though. They blurt out whatever is in their heads, without filters or overlays of niceties.

It may be a fact but it's not a judgement of your worth. Child might think the world of you. It's hit you hard because you are, I think, making judgements against yourself because of your weight. Not kindly ones at that.

Put this behind you, shrug it off as kid-speak and crack on with what you're doing. Half a stone off is awesome! Keep going!

Alexandernevermind Sun 19-Jul-20 16:10:33

I remember my 2yo pointing at a large lady and asking loudly if she had a baby in her tummy. We were mortified and like your situation corrected her immediately.
Well done for the 7lbs and don't let this destroy your confidence.

Emmmie Sun 19-Jul-20 16:14:45

7lbs is a great achievement! Don’t let this discourage you OP!

mamansnet Sun 19-Jul-20 16:28:11

Alexandernevermind

I remember my 2yo pointing at a large lady and asking loudly if she had a baby in her tummy. We were mortified and like your situation corrected her immediately.
Well done for the 7lbs and don't let this destroy your confidence.


I had this bot long ago, a child asked if I had a baby in my tummy so I just smiled and said no, it's chocolate.

The mum was mortified but luckily I fell pregnant a month later so we laugh about it now.

Kids just say things as they see them. Please don't take it to heart. Plus there is an outside chance he'd said something else. You've done so well to come through that trauma and start losing again. Turn this experience into hardcore motivation to keep up the weight loss, you WILL get there!

TalkinginCircles Sun 19-Jul-20 16:34:55

My 6yr old wouldn’t realise that being fat was seen as negative in society or that it could be hurtful, although I’m doing my best to teach him that we try not to comment on other people’s bodies, people come in lots of different shapes and sizes but not everyone is happy with their body and some people might be upset if we comment. (Also I’m a size 8 but have a very rounded tummy and I’ve been asked twice recently if I’m pregnant by adults, there’s just no need to comment) I think your friend telling her daughter it’s ‘nasty’ to say that is probably going to be fixing that in her child’s mind as a negative thing, an insult which isn’t a great attitude.

stairgates Sun 19-Jul-20 16:39:34

Keep doing what your doing as that is an excellent weight loss! My DS 4 calls people 'weirdo's' smile

CatherinedeBourgh Sun 19-Jul-20 16:41:24

I agree with talking, children will often say things without any concept that it is a criticism, or any malice.

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