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Partners just been really dark.

(57 Posts)
Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 09:41:36

My partner is 36 and has a good job. He's smart. He is abit of a conspiracist. (Have I spelt that right) I have rolled my eyes at him many times. I have also laughed at him and told him to stop watching the stuff he watches.

Lockdown and coronavirus has brought alot of different things to the surface. People have different views on where the virus started. What lockdown is about. What the vaccine is about. What the government is trying to do etc.

You could get quite disheartened listening to some of it. I don't know what to believe or not to believe. I am worried for our childrens futures. I am abit unsure about this vaccine when it is out. I also can see we are becoming more monitored and traced. I've had chats about different views with different people. It's good to listen and not bury your head in the sand. I do agree the mainstream media only report certain things. There's flaws to things too.

Anyhow this morning we were talking about taking our kids to a farm next week for a little morning out. My partner's off work so it will be nice to do a couple of simple things to go back to some sort of normality. We were just saying how sad we are for ours kids. The freedoms we had are not there for our kids anymore. The simple things we used to do are now more complex. I said to my partner that I wish I knew when our kids would be able to be normal again. When we can all be the people we were and not have to worry about viruses and going near people. The days we can touch things without fear. I wonder if it will be months or years or never again. I don't mean it dramatically. Just childhoods are so short and whilst kids adapt it should not be like this for them.

Anyway to the point! My partner said it won't get any better. We will all be dead in ten years. I said to him that's a little bit over the top. He said people need to open their eyes. They want to population down. We are being controlled. They want us down to 500 million. I said do you are saying our kids will die aged 12 and 15. He said people need to start fighting back.

A psychic (I know not everyone believes) said on a Tele thing that she predicted coronavirus and she said a war will break out in 2030. She said viruses will be our new biggest killer. We watched this in January! I remember at the time watching her predictions and she had predicted the virus in November last year.

Anyhow he's gone up to bed said he's tired. I'm sat here feeling pretty deflated now. I know he watched things. I don't watch anything but try and live day to day in "my own world" as I know there are higher powered people who ultimately can destroy lives and start wars etc. But if you focus on that you can't enjoy your life.

Just hearing him being so defeated about the future. It's making him unwell isn't it.

Am I being completely blind or is this going to get really nasty. It hurt the most that he says he regrets bringing our kids into this world.

I was just hoping this virus was just a temporary issue and not one thats the start of the end of life.

Omg please don't be horrible about my partner but please tell me what to think and do about it?

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Bearnecessity Sat 18-Jul-20 10:03:15

It does sound very unhealthily dark....you/he may or may not be into the conspiracy theories but I believe in the power of individuals and individuals working collectively to hold light and be the change.The only thing that holds us back is fear however it manifests itself.

EatsShootsAndRuns Sat 18-Jul-20 10:04:16

I think your partner needs help with his mental health.

Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:09:14

I wish he would stop watching it. Some of it is ridiculous. I have said to him you need to see a Dr about thinking everyone's headed to die in ten years.

I don't particularly believe anything with our hard evidence. I have questions and doubts like everyone. The world is a mess and I worry for the kids. But I wasn't quite thinking most of us are going to be killed.

I am sick of him focusing on it. If he's right then I'll take it back. But it's not a good way to live.i do agree they are trying to trace us more. But I've not thought beyond that.

I just want to get past all this coronavirus and start enjoying my life and giving the kids more of a childhood again.

I think he watches it on his phone when we are in bed at night.

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MRex Sat 18-Jul-20 10:23:03

Sounds like he's having weed-induced paranoia, it's possibly got as far as a psychotic break. Stress and isolation have been shown to increase belief in conspiracy theories, so it isn't unusual. The first people to speak with are the mental health charity Mind, they can give you support in looking at the next steps. If that doesn't help, your GP may be useful.

BertieBotts Sat 18-Jul-20 10:24:42

Yes, I was going to say it sounds like weed-induced paranoia. Does he smoke?

Cam2020 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:31:28

I think he needs a break from news/social media and wherever it is he gets his conspiracy theories from. I regularly go on a short news/SM break when I find myself getting dragged down by the bombardment of negative stories all the time, without the additional stress of buying onto conspiracy theories.

Physics and soothsayers always harp on about the end of the world and plague/virus is one of their favourites.

Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:53:56

Hi all. Haha I can see why it looks they way. But he's not a smoker or a weed smoker. He wouldn't touch the stuff. He's had depression on and off his whole life. He was bullied and has had some struggles that I won't bore you with.

I try and tell him that it won't all be truth. That some of it will be true but the end of life isn't coming. It would mean all armies and governments would be in on killing billions of people. That's not likely to happen. I mean I understand theirs the nuclear weapons. I know the guy in South Korea likes building things that could kill us all.
I've also tried to say to him you will never know the truth and the world beyond your bubble to an extent isn't something you need to worry about. There's alot of bad stuff in the world. I think many people have got questions about Corona and where it started. But we've just got to let our government leads up back to safety. Perhaps they have flaws and the rest. But the UK is a fairly pleasent place to live in comparison to other countries.

I am going to talk to him later about going to the gp or to stop watching it.

I think it's really depressing and I don't appreciate anyone telling me that the children of today won't live to grow up due to evil plans. I'm sure the world has always been the same. I agree that technology is becoming more complex but again I'm not interesting and there's nothing worth tracking me for. So I dont worry.

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Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:54:15

That way**

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Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:54:59

There are the nuclear weapons.

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Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 10:56:04

Sorry that looks waffly. I was multi tasking and watching the kids!

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Bagelsandbrie Sat 18-Jul-20 10:58:40

Your partner is having some sort of mental health issue, almost to the point of psychosis I think. It’s very worrying. And actually you are feeding it by not saying to him he’s being ridiculous - I’m not saying actually tell him he’s ridiculous, that’s not helpful but certainly don’t engage with him about it. It just feeds his anxiety and reinforces his ideas. Just keep telling him you don’t agree - you don’t, do you....?!

dottiedodah Sat 18-Jul-20 11:03:03

I think this pandemic is hard on people with MH issues TBH. There are so many CPs that it is hard to completely ignore them sometimes .DH might need help with depression and some unresolved past trauma .It has come upon us suddenly but has been predicted for a while .However only a few weeks ago (Fathers day if I remember rightly )The world was going to end (umm still here!)

ChipsyChopsy Sat 18-Jul-20 11:04:05

That very difficult for you. I do think the pandemic, our increasingly digital existence and the pockets of social uprising has given the last few months a strange feeling.

If I was you, I would really try to keep him in touch with reality. Do you have a garden? Some DIY jobs? Something physically tiring, hands in the earth type of project.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but I know my mental health does not hold up to being fed opinion and news for very long. I need to breathe fresh air, have an honest and heartfelt interaction with another physical human being, and plant some seeds.

Is he being treated for his depression?

dottiedodah Sat 18-Jul-20 11:07:34

Sorry I mean corona has come upon us suddenly ,and pandemic been expected for some while now (last 10 years or so)

Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:11:03

I don't agree. But I don't know what goes on with everything. So I have some agreements on things. Like 5g is a step too far. It's probably bad for our brains. I am not bright enough to know for sure either way. I think alot of it is nonsense. They are apparently planning to inject us with microchips. The vaccines apparently will contain fetal cells with can be cancerous cells in humans. Do I know for sure none of that will happen? No? But I don't think about it. I don't worry about it. I don't think we will all be turned into robots no. I kind of think the virus wasn't from where it was said to be from but again what can I do about it? I've tried to protect my kids from catching it. That's the best I can do as a parent.

Yeah I agree he needs help. He usually goes to a therapist every two months just for a catch up and to clear anything. The pandemic has changed that unfortunately.

He's usually ok but this morning was odd. I think he's getting paranoid because he's watching long videos on it. I've googled some of the stuff he's said to me today and it comes up as a suggestion straight away when I wrote 500 million population. So it's something new I presume that someone has added online.

I try and listen to everyone's views. I don't think this virus is as simple as market in China. But I am hopeful it wasn't supposed to spread around and once it's controlled we can be the happy people we were before all this.

I'll try talk to him later. He's still upstairs so I'm just keeping busy with the housework.

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CommunistLegoBloc Sat 18-Jul-20 11:12:47

Telling someone who is psychotic that their ideas are ridiculous doesn't help. They just make you part of the conspiracy.

OP no one here can diagnose but I do think you need to encourage your partner to go to the doctor. Lockdown is seeing more people diagnosed with psychosis - people with no history of it. Usually busy people have had their unconscious coping mechanisms taken away and illness has taken hold.

AlternativePerspective Sat 18-Jul-20 11:13:28

IMO you need to stop engaging with him on it. He needs to seek some professional help for his MH but when he mentions this stuff you need to just walk away from it and tell him you’re not interested.

Ideally you need to tell (not encourage) him to stop watching but he’s a grown man and there is essentially very little you can do to stop him from watching it.

At the end of the day, we’re all going to die. For some of us that will be in less than ten years time but for others it won’t. Swings and roundabouts really and no-one knows when. So there’s no point worrying about that what you ultimately can’t actually change.

YouJustDoYou Sat 18-Jul-20 11:16:04

Well, the 500 million thing is hilarious. The world can't function on only 500 million people. Unless he's saying they, whomever they are" want every one to resort back to localised farmsteads etc like the middle ages. What a load of crap.

Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:16:22

@ChipsyChopsy

Thank you for your reply. We do. I think you are right that would be good. He wants to grow veg (he's also read there's going to be a food shortage) but I'm not sure it's something that he can instantly do because the gardens not quite prepped. I think he could do with doing something though. Is it too late to plant flowers and make borders nice in the front garden? We've got two beds that we've just put stones on running down both sides of the path.

He really does need to stop watching them. He has removed himself off Facebook two years ago. But seems to be finding out about these videos from somewhere. His female cousin has also turned into an obsessed conspiracist. She's constantly posting things. Again I think the figures and stuff are inaccurate and there's an element of wanting to control people more. But I don't think we need to go into a paranoid state.

I know it's random but next week we are going for a drive out to where I used to live. Just for a walk. I'm hoping that will lift his spirits as we can leave the kids with their grandma for the day. It will be the first time since lockdown we've been alone.

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Namechange32564 Sat 18-Jul-20 11:17:20

Also he was on antidepressants last year for six months (work stress) his therapist helped him come off those. He's been doing great until the last two months x

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RedOasis Sat 18-Jul-20 11:19:39

He’s getting sucked into the doom and gloom - you know what they say - misery loves company and he’s finding it online. Maybe suggest he needs to see therapist a bit more or ask if he even discusses this with her?

GreenLeafTurnip Sat 18-Jul-20 11:19:57

OP I could have written your post word for word it's quite bizarre and if I was in the UK I'd be wondering if my husband had a second family!

I find it utterly exhausting to the point now where I just ignore him because it's impossible to have a reasoned conversation with him about anything conspiracy related. I've recently had comments such as he's in the top 0.01% who have opened their minds and seen the truth. It's just bloody ridiculous and has made me see him completely differently.

I fully sympathise with you.

AlternativePerspective Sat 18-Jul-20 11:22:25

OP, I’m reading some of your posts and it seems obvious that you agree with some of this thinking though. Not all, but that you seem to think that COVID is about controlling people and wasn’t a straightforward virus etc etc.

While you yourself are buying into some of these conspiracies you can’t possibly begin to tell him that it’s all wrong.

You need to take a step back and review your own feelings on this before you can even think about talking to him. With both of you being conspiracists to a greater or lesser extent you will be feeding off each other. And for everything you agree with he will find reassurance to believe in that which you don’t.

PLBV Sat 18-Jul-20 11:22:58

My brother is like this, but not dark with it. He doesn't have MH issues he's just gullible and likes being controversial.

He believes all the conspiracy theories and if you don't agree with him then you're a sheep and can't think for yourself. The irony escapes him.

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