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I’ve wasted my 20s and I can’t stop thinking about it

(16 Posts)
NicoPolastri Sat 18-Jul-20 09:17:12

Got stuck in a rubbish job and just got stuck generally. I think I might have got depression for a bit, I couldn’t see the point in a lot of things. I should have been building a career or going travelling, having fun. I can’t stop ruminating on it and I need to move on and look to the future. Has anyone felt like this or done the same?

OP’s posts: |
Soph88888 Sat 18-Jul-20 09:37:33

Go travelling, I went at 24 and stayed away for 5 years.
Just bite the bullet and do something

AntiHop Sat 18-Jul-20 09:51:17

You can't change the past. You can change the future. flowers

TeddyIsaHe Sat 18-Jul-20 21:24:06

Isn’t your 20s meant for wasting?

I didn’t do any of my serious growing up, career, home family etc till I hit my 30s. Spent most of my 20s dropping out of uni, raving and working as a waitress.

Now have a mortgage, scrummy dd, partner, excellent job. And no urge to drink myself stupid anymore because I’ve literally done it all grin

Don’t panic, there is life ahead of you.

EmbarrassedUser Sat 18-Jul-20 21:27:55

I part wasted, part had fun and I do have some regrets. However, life is about the here and now and looking ahead. Not a lot you can do about the past @NicoPolastri

4amWitchingHour Sat 18-Jul-20 21:28:25

How old are you? It sounds like your mental health still needs work really.

I spent my 20s in a crap job and abusive relationship, but once I got out of the relationship I changed my life entirely. You can always make changes, you just need to go for it.

Dozer Sat 18-Jul-20 21:31:23

I can remember / relate to this! Lots of people had difficult times in our twenties.

Change is possible!

whatyouwalkingbout Sat 18-Jul-20 21:31:55

As a PP said, you can only change the future. I lived my 20s at 200 miles an hour and crashed (and basically burned) in my early thirties and am still recovering now in my forties. There is no way to know how your life would've been different if you had done those things. In many ways it might be interesting to do the things you feel you missed out on now, with more wisdom and consideration than you had in your twenties.

BooseysMom Sat 18-Jul-20 21:33:18

Yeah i feel that i wasted my 20s by being scared to take risks. An over-protective mother didnt help. iI didnt start living until my mid to late 30s. Never had the urge to travel but had my beautiful DS and got married. Now i feel the urge to travel and i'm late 40s!

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece Sat 18-Jul-20 21:36:32


You can't change the past. You can change the future. flowers

This. Completely and utterly.

I did the same. Didn’t travel at all (went on holiday for the first time in 13 years last year at the age of 31), wasted my entire 20s doing fuck all. Devastating to realise that and spent so long regretting it (even occasionally now) but I can’t change it or get that time back. I can however make the most of the time now.

It’s hard but there is truly no point in regretting it and thinking about it. It’s gone. Enjoy the here and now

Megabitch Sat 18-Jul-20 21:37:51

Don’t waste your 30’s regretting what you didn’t do in your 20’s op

pennysea Sat 18-Jul-20 21:44:45

I did this in my 30s confused

NicoPolastri Sun 19-Jul-20 09:29:10

Thanks for your stories everyone, they’re really helpful smile

OP’s posts: |
Cam2020 Sun 19-Jul-20 09:47:30

There is no 'should have' and its never too late! If you feel like you've missed out on certain things, then do them! Most people hit a rough patch on life and it's really painful to look back upon, but use your exxpeirences to build a better future.

I also have a ruminating personality and I know what's it like to get sucked into the regret/sadness vortex. I don't really have any useful advice except to try and distract yourself with plans.

Beamur Sun 19-Jul-20 09:49:11

My 30's were much better than my 20's.

KnitFastDieWarm Sun 19-Jul-20 09:58:48

i was miserable from 21-23, had just left university, hated my job, no direction, felt lonely. had a lovely dp (now dh) but otherwise life wasn’t going well. Moved form a small town to a new city, made loads of friends, and have never looked back. Career was never something i was happy with for mosh of my 20s, but I’m now 33 and have done postgraduate study and carved out a great freelance career while raising a child.
Just keep going, and don’t be afraid to try new things, move, travel, quit a job you hate - things will work themselves out!

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