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When the in laws visit, they always want to go out somewhere!

(77 Posts)
magicmarkerz Mon 29-Jun-20 15:26:52

With my family, both when we visit relatives or have had relatives come to visit us in the past, we wouldn't have ever thought of going out in the daytime. Mum might put on some lunch and we'd sit around in the lounge having a good catch up with copious tea or maybe even some wine. Perhaps the men went to the pub for an hour or two!

However, with my in laws, it's entirely different. If they come to see us, we always have to go out somewhere - out for a walk, to the park, to the shops! And if we go and see them, again, it's "let's go for a walk along the canal,' "let's pop into town."

I've also noticed that when their grandchildren visit, they never just stay at home and play together, they are always being whisked off to the museum, or a country house, or to the park!

Is this a sign of the times? Always having to be doing things and being active? What happened to just being content with visiting family in their home?

OP’s posts: |
RHRA Mon 29-Jun-20 15:31:41

I would say that's normal behaviour tbh.

Michelleoftheresistance Mon 29-Jun-20 15:31:45

I suppose it could be habit, that that's what they think of a family visit day as being, or that you do something special together?

Or it could possibly be that having everyone in the house gets a bit overwhelming and tiring, and the chance to take everyone out of the house for a while allows a breather. I adore my extended family but yes, at visits am always keen to lunge the kids around a park or something as the house starts to feel like a pressure cooker after a while when it's full and kids are getting bored and restless.

JustC Mon 29-Jun-20 15:31:48

No, just different kind of people. They like to be on the move, whereas your side are bit more homebodies. If you dont feel up to it every time, maybe you can say youre feeling a bit tired that day, or claim a bad night sleep, or headache. You don't always have to do what they want.

QuintusEstInHorto Mon 29-Jun-20 15:33:27

Hanging round in someone's sitting room all day is my idea of hell. Especially with in laws!

notso Mon 29-Jun-20 15:36:46

Funnily enough I've just had DSIS on the phone complaining the exact opposite.
Her in-laws don't want to do anything when they visit. They sit on the sofa and expect DSIS to wait on them hand and foot, take over the TV and when it's time to cook dinner the FIL takes her DH to the pub while her MIL has a relaxing bath hmm
They never want to eat out, take the kids out or even sit in the garden.

I think there's a happy medium though. My PIL are serial poppers and I know there's times as DC have got older and gone to stay when they kids have just wanted to stay in with them rather than go here, there and everywhere.

I guess nobody is ever happy!

BendingSpoons Mon 29-Jun-20 15:41:33

PILs don't want to go anywhere! We'll go and stay for 4-5 days and if we are lucky get a trip to Tesco. Drives me nuts! If we visit my family for a day we would probably stay in now we have young children but we used to go for walks etc. Just different ways of doing things I guess.

LadyOfTheImprovisedBath Mon 29-Jun-20 15:44:52

I used to dislike that about IL when DC were babies - probably as we were so tired and nappy changes, loo breaks, bf, snack and naps they weren't very accomodating around.

Then for years them wanting to go out worked really well though we always had to have plans ready to do.

After some ill health they don't want to go out as much - it's fine if there something on at cinerma otherwise it's hard to find something to do that's not too far - otherwise it can be a bit of a strain sitting round hearing same stories about people we don't know.

So agree it's hard to suit everyone.

TabbyM Mon 29-Jun-20 15:47:08

BendingSpoons do we share in-laws? Mine drive me me mad as they never go anywhere. We don't expect to be constantly entertained but a walk or lunch out would be good. I honestly think lockdown will have made no difference to them.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Mon 29-Jun-20 15:47:18

I hate sitting round the house.

Much more interesting to go out. I’d always choose going somewhere (with a nice cafe!) rather than sitting around feeling stifled!

It’s always what I’ve done with in laws

Pascha Mon 29-Jun-20 15:51:04

MIL invites us round for the afternoon, she likes us to be there for both lunch and tea. The kids play in the garden but honestly, I find it really boring blush. Nobody has that much to say after an hour catch up. Its just sitting and sighing. I'd really much rather we came for one meal and stayed for an hour after.

Or really, I'd like to just meet and go out for the day.

dayslikethese1 Mon 29-Jun-20 15:51:52

Doesn't it get a bit boring hanging round the house all day? And don't the kids go a bit nuts? My family always do stuff so I'd find never going out a bit weird tbh. Maybe its just different personalities.

CMOTDibbler Mon 29-Jun-20 15:52:50

Why in your family do the men get to go to the pub while the women stay home?

I'd much rather go out somewhere than just sit in the house, and we prefer to meet family elsewhere

EmperorCovidula Mon 29-Jun-20 15:53:34

Maybe they find you boring? I sure as fuck wouldn’t want to sit around all day with my in laws. They’re incapable of entertaining themselves but they’re also incapable of entertaining me. It would be one thing if we all skulked off to our own corners with a book or brought some sewing or bloody anything other than sitting and listening to them moan and then fight with each other and then moan some more. I just can’t tolerate it. I’m afraid that a walk is essential (at a brisk pace to ensure they are too out of breath to moan).

DDIJ Mon 29-Jun-20 15:57:07

I find staying in boring. What do you find to talk about?

Lamazey Mon 29-Jun-20 15:57:08

Jesus, I wish mine would. MIL comes every weekend and every weekend we spend the whole day in our living room. Some times I make up an excuse like I have to go to the pharmacy just to get outside.

Glendaruel Mon 29-Jun-20 15:58:05

We live a distance away, so when we visit it's holidays and so go out for trips as a family. So sounds normal to me

ExpletiveDelighted Mon 29-Jun-20 15:59:01

We always go out when the ILs are staying or we are staying with them, I think that's normal? We don't stay with my family as they are closer but I'm sure we'd go out if we did. As a family it's extremely rare for us all to stay at home all day too.

AskingforaBaskin Mon 29-Jun-20 15:59:31

I would respond with
Brilliant You and DH have a lovely day with the kids. I'm going to put my feet up.

They're his parents visiting him and their GC you am an bow out and personally I'd struggle not to do it with a massive grin.

Apolloanddaphne Mon 29-Jun-20 16:00:28

Both my family and DH's family would go out somewhere when visiting, even if it was just a walk to a local park. Sitting around the house is tedious.

Nofunkingworriesmate Mon 29-Jun-20 16:02:35

Going out normal in my family for last 40 years so not new

geojojo Mon 29-Jun-20 16:02:57

I'm like that when people visit for the day. I presume they would be bored in the house all day and I would be if I went to visit someone in their house all day and just stayed inside. I guess families are just different.

ComDummings Mon 29-Jun-20 16:03:00

Different strokes and all that, some people like staying in some people like going out. If it’s family we don’t see as often and we have a whole day or weekend together I like going out and doing something, staying in all day sounds quite dull really.

Nofunkingworriesmate Mon 29-Jun-20 16:05:25

I'd have much more of an issue with the men going to the pub very sexist what if a random woman go to the pub or all of you ?

LooseyGoosey Mon 29-Jun-20 16:07:51

I agree, just different strokes for different folks. My family are the going out and doing activities type - we even get antsy on Christmas Day if we don't leave the house for at least a walk and a play, but I know others are the opposite.

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