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What happened to your rapist ?

(243 Posts)
Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:45:42

Please bear with me.

I never reported mine.

He's married now, 3 boys, professional. Looks to be very happy.

Did you ever get justice?

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Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:47:42

In an ideal world, mine would say sorry. That would help. I've never forgotten. I hope he hasn't but I suspect I was a notch on the bedpost.

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ClosestThingToCrazy Wed 10-Jun-20 21:50:46

I didn't report mine either, but last I heard he was living with his mum. And had just lost a job at a factory because he was too work shy. So almost justice.

BillywigSting Wed 10-Jun-20 21:53:02

Absolutely nothing.

I didn't report mine either. I didn't tell anyone about him because I was 13 and he was 21 and I was utterly ashamed.

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:53:25

Ah yes. I'm sorry you were hurt like that. It's a pain like no other ah.

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Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 21:54:49

13 😭
I'm so sorry.
I didn't report either. Didn't even think to, how sad.

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BillywigSting Wed 10-Jun-20 21:56:35

He was my best friends big brother. I mostly tried (try) not to think about it too much.

Fiddlersgreen Wed 10-Jun-20 21:57:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smarshian Wed 10-Jun-20 21:58:50

He killed himself when my family found out. He was my grandfather.

BillywigSting Wed 10-Jun-20 21:59:53

@58Smarshian I'm so sorry flowers

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:00:20

Again I'm sorry.

I really feel bad when I think how many of us were raped.

I wish I'd told my parents.

I wish they'd been strong enough and me close enough to tell them.

I hope I'm close enough to mine that they would tell me.

Rape was like a bullet wound to my soul, I often wonder if I was over the top in my teenage reaction to same but it was my first sexual experience. Likely not.

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Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:01:29

I am truly sorry for fellow victims. I've never discussed this in real life.

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CarlottaValdez Wed 10-Jun-20 22:05:23

I assumed nobody would believe me because he was popular and attractive and I was ugly and inept. I still think that’s sadly probably right.

He’s done ok for himself. Married and pretty good job.

DanceLikeItsYourKitchen Wed 10-Jun-20 22:06:21

Nothing legally. I didn’t report it at first as I was 15 and felt I was to blame, and then also didn’t report it later in life as I came to realise exactly what that would entail and that the chances of conviction were minuscule. I have mostly made my peace with my inaction thanks to therapy, and to a lesser extent the fact that he is deeply unhappy in his own life. He has a chronic illness, was fired from his job after complaints (non related) were made about him, and he and his now wife can’t have kids. He wasn’t a stranger to me and although I avoid him and speaking about him, friends who don’t know sometimes tell me about his life.

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:06:54


I believe you.

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DanceLikeItsYourKitchen Wed 10-Jun-20 22:07:47

Rape was like a bullet wound to my soul, I often wonder if I was over the top in my teenage reaction to same but it was my first sexual experience. Likely not

Same. 💐

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:07:56

Dance, big hugs - I'm sorry you suffered. Far too bloody common

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ThisThreadCouldOutMe Wed 10-Jun-20 22:08:19

Mine was my brother. I told my mum and she didn't believe me so I didn't tell anyone else.
He's since moved continents and is happily married.

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:09:12

I wish I could turn back the clock in a sense.

I've a nice partner now but sex has had to be learned to be relaxed.

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Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:10:41

This thread

I believe you and I'm gutted. For you.

But hope you've made a way for yourself: wish I could meet you all over coffee and even get a wee cuddle. In recognition of the lonely years spent carrying it alone.

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Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:12:27

As I said I've never met a victim of rake in real life.

I guess you wouldn't know I was one either. To be fair.

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nancyjuice7 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:13:14

@CarlottaValdez I believe you too

Mine story is similar, I was 14 (by a month). He was 19 and incredibly cool.

I have no idea what happened to him. I've never seen him again.

I never reported it to the police, mainly due to thinking it was my fault for "leading him on" and being drunk and then because my mother said to me a year or so later, what did you expect to happen getting drunk around men (?)
It hurts more now as how could she say that, I was a child.

I went for an STI test a few months later and the lovely kind woman asked why I had a scar on my perineum so I told her. She's the only professional I've ever told and she logged it in their system in case another girl said it too, but it never went to the police.

Hugs to everyone on this thread daffodil

BillywigSting Wed 10-Jun-20 22:13:17

Rape was like a bullet wound to my soul, I often wonder if I was over the top in my teenage reaction to same but it was my first sexual experience. Likely not.


I believe all of you too. Because I thought no one would believe me, and because I thought that everyone would think it was my fault.
I was 13.
It was not my fault.

It was not your fault.

It was theirs.

Iwonder777 Wed 10-Jun-20 22:16:31

I wish I could hand hold this generation of rape victims.

There must be just as many,

For years, I felt like used goods.

A lie of course, but I felt it,!

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Ohnonononononono Wed 10-Jun-20 22:18:46

Nothing at all from the police.

There were consequences a long time afterwards - after what he did to me and several other women became public, he suddenly wasn't welcome any more in his woke-bro job - I can't remember whether they booted him or he jumped before he was pushed. He seems to have vanished from groups he had prominent positions in as well, which is nice.

I hope everything else in his life has collapsed too smile

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