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Do you ever think you’re getting too old for MN?

(30 Posts)
Daffodil101 Sat 23-May-20 13:19:05

I joined 16 years ago as a newly pregnant 31 year old. It’s been such a useful source of support and information. Also a great source of debate. I found I was roughly the same age as other posters back then.

Just recently I’ve found that I can’t really identify with a lot of the attitudes or experiences I read about, I find MN a strange place at times, I find people incredibly rude and often unable to engage in debate where they are willing to listen to the other side of the argument. I’ve seen lots of posters labelled ‘goady,’ and whilst arguably some of them might have been, to me, this has often stemmed from an opinion that might have been calmly and politely debated in the past.

Then I was reading a thread about ‘common names when you were at school’ and it became apparent that some of the posters were born after i had left school, or even after I’d left university. So 20 years or more younger than me. A whole generation.

In real life, I don’t have friends 20 years younger, as we don’t tend to share the same attitudes or experiences, not that I think there’s anything wrong with it. So perhaps this explains why I’m finding MN such a strange place these days, I’m just basically of a different generation than a lot of other posters. I’m getting old!

There’s a gransnet......I’m way too young for that! Do we need a ‘middle aged net?!’ I’m still a mum (kids 15/11) so I still like the idea of MN, but god it’s a strange place at times.

Mydoglicksplates Sat 23-May-20 13:28:50

I've grown into mumsnet, when I had my first at 20 (15 years ago) I found MN to be an odd place where I always felt like an outsider, I spent 10 years on netmums which I know people on here take the piss out of but the hun brigade were more like a warm blanket and coco which I needed when I was struggling with small children.
Now I feel more like myself again) MN is more like a bar and large wine) and have older children I feel at home here, although there is a lot of content which is not relevant to me, I just am selective on what I read. I've spent more time on thinking about political and feminist issues since being on here, I often read something interesting in the paper and then come on here as there is usually a post with intelligent and well thought out posts.

Pelleas Sat 23-May-20 13:31:08

I didn't join until my mid-40s. I like the way there's a broad age-range on here - I find it interesting to hear the views of people who have grown up in a different era.

Daffodil101 Sat 23-May-20 13:45:37

Yes there is that, certainly. I never tried netmums back in the day. Didnt they have a ticker tape thing? I looked at it once and thought the screen looked too busy.

When I talk to the generation above me, they remember some other national crisis points. I remember after the 9/11 incident when I was in a panic that the world was basically turning to shit (I was 29 at the time) and they said ‘oh don’t worry, we survived the Cuban misfile crisis!’

And I took from that a sense of perspective that helped a lot.

Waxonwaxoff0 Sat 23-May-20 14:12:09

I thought a lot of MNers are in their 40s. I'm 29 and feel young here, I've noticed a lot of people here are older than me, lots of talk about "elderly parents" which I can't relate to. Most people have their children older than I did, I was 22 when I had DS.

Waxonwaxoff0 Sat 23-May-20 14:13:21

Netmums was more geared towards younger mums when I had DS but I didn't like it there.

Beechview Sat 23-May-20 14:17:45

No. I’m in my 40’s and there are lots of older people here.
As for debate, I often find that people are usually only interested in their side. There isn’t much tolerance around.
I don’t know many people who’ve changed their view after a debate. Hopefully they’ve learnt some tolerance and understanding of other viewpoints but they don’t change their minds.

KaronAVyrus Sat 23-May-20 14:24:12

I’ve been here on and off for about 16 yrs and I go through phases.
The one thing I’ve noticed is that it is definitely not as funny as it used to be. The humour had all but gone which is a real shame.
I don’t think it’s an age issue more that I don’t really have all that much interest in pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding/toddlers etc. It’s all consuming at the time but it’s really boring when you’re not going through it.

enjoyingSun Sat 23-May-20 14:50:25

I think it's nearer 13 years at most on and off I've been here - did netmums first till the anti-science and obvious poltical plants during election got too much and came here.

I agree with KaronAVyrus though less funny and lots of consuming at the time but it’s really boring when you’re not going through it threads.

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-May-20 14:54:20

A bit. I have been here nearly 9 years but my DC were already 12 and 10 at that point.
So I missed out on any of the baby/toddler/First School advice (or not!) on here.
I have all the topics I have no interest in hidden now and I find that better.

DramaAlpaca Sat 23-May-20 14:56:24

OP, I was about your age when I found MN eight years ago. There are loads of posters in their 50s on here. I like hearing different points of view from people of all ages, though recently I haven't found as many interesting threads to get absorbed in as before.

Foxyloxy1plus1 Sat 23-May-20 14:59:29

I think it’s quite an ageist forum and has been more so of late.

Bertucci Sat 23-May-20 15:00:29

Definitely. I joined in about 2005 I think, when mine were small.

I am 49 now and kids are mostly grown.

It has become less witty and less appealing, although I do dip in most days. But am I too old? Yes.

NietzschePeachPearPlum Sat 23-May-20 15:08:15

I notice posters of all ages and viewpoints on MN and it had never occurred to me that I was too old be here. I’m in my early 50s, but I still have a primary school child and an early teenager, so hopefully still the right sort of demographic!

The only time I feel old is on the baby names threads:
“What do you think of <seemingly random arrangement of letters> for a girl?”
“Oh no, there are 6 of them in my DSs class!”

Sparklingbrook Sat 23-May-20 15:09:14

I don't really think of the ages of people on here (unless they state it). I never envisage what a poster looks like either.

At one time I did feel like I had 'friends' on here that I could have a laugh with and I liked that. That's gone now.

I use it now as more something to read like you would a magazine or whatever.

ifonly4 Sat 23-May-20 15:19:29

I'm in my early 50s.There was a thread on Mumsnetters ages a while ago, there's more than you think in their 60s and a few in their 70s. I guess I'm only reading threads that I'm interested in/have something in common with. I might not agree with some points of view, but have accepted we all have different opinions and I try to be respectful if I'm saying otherwise. I do agree, some come across as being rude - I just ignore these.

In real life, I have a lot of friends around my own age, but I do have one about 15 years younger than me - I don't think it bothers either of us - we have things in common and like doing the same social things. We're having a day of messaging today, supporting, chatting about circumstances and joking.

AmNot Sat 23-May-20 15:23:23

I've been here on and off for 10 years. Throughout that time people have always complained about MN going to the dogs, people being ruder and aggressive than when it was fields..

I haven't noticed more rudeness or aggression, that has always been a problem! It is less funny now from my perspective though.

And the generation gaps (i'm early 40s) are obvious sometimes. Sometimes i'll open a thread and catch myself thinking negatively about the style of a post/wording before realising that's how a lot of people in their 20s do talk/communicate and i'm just showing my age! smile

Babdoc Sat 23-May-20 15:38:08

I’m in my sixties, OP, and joined relatively recently! I think one of the great benefits of the site is the large number of experienced older women and professional women - lawyers, doctors, police officers, counsellors etc - who can provide sage advice and information to younger women, particularly those suffering abusive relationships or struggling with mental health problems.
There is also an excellent FWR board, providing gender critical support for women campaigning to preserve sex based rights for women’s sports, changing rooms, prisons and refuges. It’s mainly older women who have the experience and legal knowledge, and are no longer easily intimidated like younger women to “be nice” and give our rights away.
It would be a dull world if we only ever spoke to our own age group or small bubble of like minded friends.
I learn a lot about the younger generation from my adult daughters, and their friends, plus posters here, and I enjoy being useful (as a retired doctor) on MN. Having been widowed in my 30’s, with 2 babies, I also have the lived experience to be able to support bereaved posters.
If you still enjoy the site, OP, then stay and contribute - there is no age limit!

ARoseInHarlem Sat 23-May-20 15:46:42

I’ve been here around 10 years and agree it’s become a lot less funny, a lot less tolerant, a lot more whiney.

But I see this as a reflection of the times we live in. Life has become more difficult for many, many people in the past decade, especially for those in the UK.

Daffodil101 Sat 23-May-20 16:19:29

Yes I can see that would be right.

It’s definitely less funny!

elp30 Sat 23-May-20 16:29:44

I joined MN originally (I cannot remember my then username) back in 2004.

At that time, I still lived in England and I was a mother to children ages: 12, 7 and 3 and I was nearly 34.

I ended up moving back to the USA later that year and I would log on to keep abreast of parenting topics and also because I was planning on returning to England within two years.

15 years later, I reactivated my account with a new user name.
My children are now: 28, 22 and 19.
I have three grandchildren that are 7 and 3 (twins)
I am about to turn 50.

I decided to log on because I am planning on returning to England to be close to my in-laws within a few years and I wanted to find out how much things have changed over the past 15 years.

It's been eye-opening in both a good and bad way but interesting, all the same.

Oblomov20 Sat 23-May-20 16:35:30

I too have been here about 15 or16 years and find it odd to think that posters are so young.

But I guess that is what happens? It's just natural?

Daffodil101 Sat 23-May-20 17:57:26

That’s interesting Elp!

You must remember Cod and Lavenderrr

What changes have you seen?

TreacherousPissFlap Sat 23-May-20 18:21:21

I have been here (under various name changes) for about 12 years. The PP who said the humour has gone / changed is correct. Recently I read some of the old "classics" threads and they really were laugh out loud funny. Today, while there's stuff that makes me chuckle, I can't remember the last time I spat my tea over my keyboard properly laughed at a thread.
There's also a lot less tolerance, the very idea that somebody may have a different and yet equally valid point of view seems an alien concept to many hmm

AmNot Sat 23-May-20 18:25:41

There was a thread recently about looking like a sea monster on zoom which was very like the old funny threads on MN.

I've always cringed at the 'I woke the baby up laughing, spat my tea on the keyboard, DH came in saying "MN again darling?" posters but I did smile and giggle a bit at that thread.

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