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Husband not home

(27 Posts)
argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 02:17:27

It's quarter past 3 in the morning and DH has not come home from pub. We are not in the UK so pubs/bars close early. I have a terrible feeling and the phone is just ringing out. I'm just sitting here awake, shaking. He went with work colleagues, I don't know who exactly and so have no idea who I could contact.
I just need to talk to someone as it's the middle of the night and I don't want to disturb anyone yet.

Toomanygerbils Sat 22-Feb-20 02:21:45

Do you know any of his friends? Could he have gone on to a house party?

MiniGuinness Sat 22-Feb-20 02:23:07

He’ll have gone on somewhere. It is a bit off to not let you know, but we all have times we go out and are too busy having fun and lose track of time. He’ll be fine.

Spain1 Sat 22-Feb-20 02:23:09

Probably waiting for a taxi will come in the door any minute now.

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 02:24:42

It's possible but very unlikely as he would have let me know. Also I can see that there was a party at a colleague's house on FB but that seems to be over, all photos are from an hour ago.

AGirlCalledJohnny Sat 22-Feb-20 02:26:42

He’s on the piss or passed out. They always are

KatherineJaneway Sat 22-Feb-20 02:27:29

He'll have had too much to drink and be sleeping on the colleague's couch or similar or he's waiting for a taxi as pp said.

Spain1 Sat 22-Feb-20 02:29:09

Could you message the colleague?

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 02:29:33

Thanks everyone, he's just answered his phone. I've been calling him for two hours. Didn't realise 37 year olds could behave like teenagers. Haha. I mean I knew but it still comes as a shock.

Spain1 Sat 22-Feb-20 02:30:19

Good stuff panic oversmile

Toomanygerbils Sat 22-Feb-20 02:34:33

Op I recall your previous posts about your hubby and you do seem like you have anxiety when he and you are apart. Maybe you both need to sit down and talk this through before it happens again?

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 02:42:22

Well, I was perfectly fine until 1.30, then woke up and realised it's past the time the bars would be open. He went to a club. 🙄

Toomanygerbils Sat 22-Feb-20 02:48:50

@ argueifnecessary going to a club is a normal thing on a night out. Yes he should have told you. But this and your previous posts show you are overreacting and perhaps don’t trust him or have severe anxiety issues. If my hubby got annoyed because I was enjoying a night out I wouldn’t be happy. You need to be honest with him about your need for reassurance, but also accept he’s an adult and can stay out late

LorenzoStDubois Sat 22-Feb-20 02:58:45

Yep, they're always pissed or passed out.

Littlepond Sat 22-Feb-20 03:01:47

I’m in the same boat. Husband went for “a couple” after work. No sign of him yet, 3am. Ugh. I’m supposed to be working tomorrow so he better bloody come home tonight as I have to leave at 7am! I’m sure he has just had too much to drink but he isn’t answering his phone 🙄

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 03:15:02

I'm not sure which previous posts you are referring to? I think I mentioned once that we have agreed to always let each other know if we're staying longer. He didn't let me know so broke the promise. I have a bit of anxiety, it is not severe at all at the moment. It's all relative - I mean, it's OK for some people to go to a club on a night out but not for him particularly. Probably last went to a club 10 years ago.
@Littlepond He better get home soon! You have work, I have a baby (and a DD4) and suspect I will be doing most of the childcare tomorrow

SnowyRacoon Sat 22-Feb-20 03:39:40

Broke the promise? Fgs he is an adult OP not a teenager on a curfew!

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 03:54:00

@SnowyRacoon he certainly behaved like a teenager so 🤷
If it is tolerated in your relationship to go out on night long benders without letting the other half know that is fine and you're used to it. It is not really what we normally do in our relationship - last time it happened was about 10 years ago as I mentioned hence the OP and worry.

heartandheart Sat 22-Feb-20 03:58:37

Agree with you ok. It's just courtesy to let you know especially when you have kids to look after.

KatherineJaneway Sat 22-Feb-20 07:07:33

@argueifnecessary What time did he finally get in?

@Littlepond Hope your dp arrived home in time

GaaaaarlicBread Sat 22-Feb-20 07:10:57

@Littlepond did your OH come home in time ?

Trews2019 Sat 22-Feb-20 07:44:17

Wow twice in 10 years and all this drama.

argueifnecessary Sat 22-Feb-20 08:37:14

@KatherineJaneway (Love your name) he was on his way home when he finally answered his phone.
I think lots of people are missing the point here. Totally OK with him going out. The problem was not letting me know if he decides to stay longer. I didn't know if he was at a house party, in a club or lying somewhere in a ditch after being robbed 🤷

Frownette Sat 22-Feb-20 08:42:50

I was puzzled when a friend told me her husband goes to clubs on his own. Apparently he just likes a little dance! She seemed fine with it.

They have children. Must have been 35. I guess he just wanted to be on his own for a bit.

Littlepond Sat 22-Feb-20 10:38:35

My alarm went off at 6am and hubby was snoring on the sofa...
although I left before anyone was up so I should probably check in that they are all ok as husband probably still unconscious on sofa and left kids (not young thankfully) fending for themselves 🙄

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