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Inconsolable teen. So sad for my boy

(128 Posts)
AlwaysRememberUsThisWay Tue 18-Feb-20 18:00:10

My husband and I adopted our son and he’s now a lovely, warm, loving, generous, sensitive 13 year old. He’s been playing online today with ‘friends’ and got into a bit of an argument with one of them about the game. This boy said ‘well at least my parents didn’t leave me’. He’s absolutely heartbroken and so am I. He has always been a little ‘different’ and has struggled with friendships but is so resilient and just goes with it, spending lunchtimes at the gym at school and tagging along really. He has some friends but no real firm friendship group. He’s confided in one or two people that he’s adopted and the word must have got round to this boy. I don’t even know why I’m posting-I’m just sad for my precious boy. sad

mbosnz Tue 18-Feb-20 18:04:38

I'm sad for your precious boy too. I'm also sad and mad that another teenager thought this was in any way, shape or form an acceptable thing to say.

Your boy has parents that chose him, that love him. He's a lucky boy, far too many children don't have parents that love them.

BigSandyBalls2015 Tue 18-Feb-20 18:09:11

What an absolutely shit thing to say to him sad

GorkyMcPorky Tue 18-Feb-20 18:10:41

Wow. I would be telling the parents what a spiteful child they've raised.

BigSandyBalls2015 Tue 18-Feb-20 18:11:11

I am adopted and even at 50 years old I’m still upset by some comments I hear. A friends adopted son recently had a baby and another ‘friend’ said ‘it’s not really her grandson though is it” angry

Thesuzle Tue 18-Feb-20 18:11:49

Does he play any sport? My boy now 27, has friends from rugby still, he started when he was 4, despite them all being scattered around the country now, they all meet up when ever they can.

Dozer Tue 18-Feb-20 18:12:43

That’s cyber bullying. angry

Horrible. Poor DS.

milliefiori Tue 18-Feb-20 18:13:13

That's a revolting thing to say. Please comfort your son by telling him that a) you are his parents and have no intention of leaving him and b) that child may live with his birth-parents but it hasn't;t done him much good if he's that cruel to his friends.

I would also follow this up with parents or school as that sort of bullying is never acceptable.

Walkingtheplank Tue 18-Feb-20 18:13:41

I am shocked. What a vile thing to say.
I hope that after you have taken care of you son, you will tell the other boy's parents. I would be mortified if my son said such a thing.

GuyFawkesDay Tue 18-Feb-20 18:14:40

Little shits.

He needs a witty comeback. "My parents picked me, yours got stuck with you."

When they're teens they need a bit of armoury. I'd normally suggest turning a blind ear etc. But sometimes slapping this kind of "banter" down quickly stops it when the perpetrator realises it's backfired.

Booboostwo Tue 18-Feb-20 18:15:05

That is an awful comment and well beyond what you would expect from two teens arguing over a game. I would also take this to the school.

Singlenotsingle Tue 18-Feb-20 18:15:27

So much for 'be kind' eh?

Longtalljosie Tue 18-Feb-20 18:15:34

If my children ever were to say something that nasty, I’d want to be told. Your poor DS x

novacaneforthepain Tue 18-Feb-20 18:16:03

I have always felt that adopted children are far more special than biological children as they have been "Chosen"

I hope he is ok, that's awful 😞

GuyFawkesDay Tue 18-Feb-20 18:16:28

Teens are often vile to each other, sadly. Posturing and building the social "hierarchy". If sucks.

SirVixofVixHall Tue 18-Feb-20 18:16:29

Bloody hell. I hope that boy is feeling very ashamed now.
All you can say is that you love him , and that his other mother loved him too, but couldn’t look after him.
It took my dd a long time to settle into a friendship group at high school, tell him he will find his people eventually.
I really hope the other boy apologises, he clearly just said the most hurtful thing he could think of, as some people do in arguments.

MummySharn Tue 18-Feb-20 18:18:46

Bless him, how is he doing now?

Beansandcoffee Tue 18-Feb-20 18:19:30

Nasty comment but that’s teens for you they can be horrible. Tell your son that you chose him and he is very very precious to you. I’m not sure about talking to the school if he is on secondary school.
Have you taken your son to park run. Fantastic family atmosphere and he might enjoy it and be interested in athletics.

katewhinesalot Tue 18-Feb-20 18:19:37

"My parents picked me, yours got stuck with you."
Perfect comeback.

Try and teach him to feel sorry for these people. Tell him happy people don't need to make horrible comments like this. There is more going on for this boy than is obvious.

Roselilly36 Tue 18-Feb-20 18:21:19

It’s a terrible comment, but gaming online says it all, kids say things they wouldn’t dream of saying face to face, my sons have been subject to terrible comments whilst gaming, just ignore.

FlamingoAndJohn Tue 18-Feb-20 18:23:01

Does he know this boy in real life?
If so then talk to the school. They should take a comment like that very seriously.

Poor love. That’s just a dreadful thing to say.

Bargebill19 Tue 18-Feb-20 18:23:39

His parents didn’t leave him. YOU are his parents. Being a parent is so much more than providing dna. You live for him. Simple.
Big hugs.

TokyoSushi Tue 18-Feb-20 18:25:31

Oh your poor baby sad

MethodToThisMadness Tue 18-Feb-20 18:26:56

Poor boy. You are his parents, and you haven't left him- so it doesn't even make sense!

Updatingmywill Tue 18-Feb-20 18:27:03

"My parents picked me, yours got stuck with you."

Yes, this! And he should probably say it out loud a few times to practice!
I was bullied at school and never had a good comeback.

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