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I’m so shit at my job - help!

(28 Posts)
PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 18:36:47

I’ve name changed out of sheer embarrassment.

I started work two months ago at a relatives business after being at home with the kids for a long time. I had zero experience. It was just me and another employee at this time. I was told employee would ‘train me up’ but he was so socially awkward and he was already planning on leaving so he couldn’t be arsed and it got to the point where I didn’t want to disturb him - if though I did ask multiple times.

He left.

Two new people started. Both supposed to be shit hot. The one supposed to be training me isn’t. He seems distracted and really busy doing nothing.

The other one is very good at what she does but works at a slightly different stage than me and has been intervening and trying to show me stuff even though it isn’t her remit.

But I’m so fucking slow and stupid. Because we’re now behind because of distracted guy the tiny bit of work I could do, I’m making stupid mistakes in because I’m rushing.

I think I’ve exasperated her today as she when I was trying to explain something to her I used the wrong terminology and she said I was ‘fucking useless’ albeit in a jokey way hmm

I fucked a document up today that I should have sent to distracted guy first to check over but sent it straight to my head of department because distracted guy didn’t come in till lunch. Head of department reviewed it, scanned it back with notes in saying ‘this is fun’ - by my mistake he’s actually a really patient bloke and I think he is just getting fed up with how shit I am.

Room was a bit tense this afternoon as I think the new woman is pissed off at us both.

I think my brain has died whilst at home with kids and I need some advice on how to claw back some self respect. And how to switch my bloody brain on.

I’m actually the oldest one in the office blush

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 18:48:22

Anybody? sad

PeteHornberger Tue 14-Jan-20 18:49:45

It sounds like you've been let down by the people who are supposed to be training you, rather than you being simply shit at the job!

Distracted guy sounds like he's not doing his job at all, so I would wager that if the HoD & the other lady are feeling frustrated, it will be aimed at him as well.

She's also pretty unprofessional to say you're "fucking useless", even if it is in a jokey way, as that won't make for a pleasant working environment or make you feel like you can make mistakes without it being a massive problem - no psychology security.

Can you speak to someone about the fact that you're trying your best but without being properly trained, you won't be able to do the job. That's got nothing to do with the fact that you've been at home with the kids prior to this, anyone would struggle without proper training.

It's tough when you're still learning but it won't be this way forever, soon you'll be a pro!

Sniv Tue 14-Jan-20 18:58:09

Everyone makes mistakes now and then and two months is no time at all in a new role. All you can do is own up, apologise once, ask your manager what you could have done differently, and then keep your chin up and show that you've moved on.

It's hard to advise without knowing your job, but one thing that might help is to write down each process like a flow diagram that you can follow each time you do it. Be as detailed as you need to, and perhaps get colleagues to check them if you're not sure.

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:02:05

Thanks for replying! It has been noticed by HoD and I think he’s on borrowed time. Maybe new woman is shitting herself Incase she’s left with me!

I know regarding comment - it stung a bit. I’m a bit surprised by her mood today as it was coming off her wave and was quite oppressive.

Thanks for being kind flowers

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:04:26

Sniv that’s a good idea regarding flow charts etc..

chocolateteapot20 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:16:49

You know, any one who's ever trained or recruited staff will know it takes AT LEAST 6 months for someone to become properly productive. Is there a manual or a set of procedures anywhere?

Whenever I've started anywhere new I've ended up writing myself a manual, which has then been very useful to pass on to whoever takes over from me when i leave (with amendments, obviously). I've always had a better time in bigger organisations than smaller ones; despite the bureaucracy, the law means the bigger places have to have various things in place like mandatory training and even "onboarding programmes" as they call them now. in some sectors.

Given how fast technology moves these days, if you've been out of the workplace for even a year, it'll be like landing on a different planet. I'm guessing your other colleagues don't have much training you work in a really specialised environment or sector that you've been unlucky with two other colleagues?!

As a new employee, even if it's a relative's company, shouldn't you be having monthly (or more regular) sessions to see how you're getting on and identify any training you might need in your job?

And saying you're "fucking useless" is appalling on two counts. One, even in the restaurant and hotel trade, swearing out loud is frowned on these days; and two, it's belittling and highly unprofessional. Why did she leave her last job, out of interest?

Good advice on here about asking for the training you need. I also used to keep a sort of "work diary" when I was new in posts (and sometimes well beyond those first 6 months!) with notes etc, nothing libellous, just details of tasks, contacts etc.

Good luck, you've done well to go back into the workplace at all after a long gap! flowers flowers flowers

Tablefor4 Tue 14-Jan-20 19:17:41

Yes. Definitely think you need to go to HoD and get ahead of this. Explain that you are conscious that you are not getting the training that you need. That you will continue to work on learning - for instance the flow charts - but that you're conscious that you're taking up time from the woman who doesn't really do your job.

Show you're being pro-active.

Apackoflips Tue 14-Jan-20 19:21:48

It takes 6 months to be settled into a new job. And thats one where you have had good training. You are being far too hard on yourself OP.
Im willing to bet that when you were at home you knew what you were doing every minute of the day -once you got into a routine that is.
You almost certainly didnt know what way was up when you had your first baby but you learned - and di your job well.

Now you are back to learning again. Take your time. Make some flow charts and let the others sort themselves out. Neither of them are your boss so you dont have to justify yourself to them.

Livebythecoast Tue 14-Jan-20 19:21:50

Apart from the lack of training which is obviously vitally important to any new role, you're still learning and you haven't had the best start. It will hopefully get better and you'll learn from your mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself. I've had many new jobs where I've felt like a fish out of water in the beginning and then, over time, suddenly something just clicks. Agree with other pp about writing things down in what ever format suits you so you can refer back to it. I know I can be shown something and think I'll remember that but when I go to do it my brain has definitely left the building!
Things will get better but you need proper training and not nasty, albeit jokey, comments flowers

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:28:58

* chocolateteapot20 my HoD did say last week not to worry and it would be about 6 months before I was ‘there’ - I think these past two days have been testing for him though!

New lady had a great c.v and walked the interview. She was essentially being made redundant.

There are no training manuals and new lady was shocked and said she’d never worked with any one out experience blush it’s quite specialised and you probably get to my level through working your way up, accumulating experience and knowledge.

Plus the system we are using is awful. It’s literately like walking through tar.

I have started a work diary - to prove what I’m actually doing! grin

Tablefor4 I’ve already talked about that my HoD blush

adag Tue 14-Jan-20 19:31:54

Try to stay confident as well - when you are feeling a bit down little mistakes that no one else really notices feel huge to you...keep it in perspective, I'm sure you're doing great... I'd rather have the odd mistake from someone who cares than someone brilliant who doesn't care any day x

itsboiledeggsagain Tue 14-Jan-20 19:36:59

Can you give us a clue to the business field? Admin? Sales?

Where is the relative who hired you? Hod or someone more senior?

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:37:51

adag flowers

Thanks for the support - I think I’ll swerve the bottle of red I was about to open now winegrin

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:40:58

My role is admin based. I don’t want to say who relative as it’s outing Incase any of my friends are on here is but it’s pretty high up. I’ve only got this position because of that and I think that’s that could be a reason why new woman is getting fed up with me.

I feel like a complete fraud!

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 19:42:24

I’d never even used word or excel - which I can do now. I know embarrassing...

managedmis Tue 14-Jan-20 19:45:33

So it's an admin role? What industry? Can you say?

Have learnt shortcuts in Word?

rosinavera Tue 14-Jan-20 19:50:40


TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Tue 14-Jan-20 20:14:53

Microsoft do free courses on word, outlook and excel so get to the website and start to go through those.

I would focus on:
- formatting
- building and saving template documents
- mail merge if you send out letters
- using the tools like spell and grammar check.

- basic formulas using the formula wizard
- using tables
- pivot tables and charts

Make sure you have a to do list you can cross out and that at least one item every day is a 'time saving' activity like creating an email template for a common issue/query. You can then use that over and over so you don't have to keep duplicating yourself.

As a newbie you are perfect for creating how to guides as you are learning. So make notes of how to use a new system and then type them up, date and give them a version number and store them in a centrally accessible area.

Look up online free templates you can use of how to guides that already exist for the systems.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 Tue 14-Jan-20 20:21:25

Here you go

PaperbackBlighter Tue 14-Jan-20 20:27:24

While she shouldn’t have told you you’re fucking useless, I can see why she’s getting frustrated.

It sounds like you don’t have the basic skills for the role, and are there solely due to nepotism.

I think you both have to be more patient with each other.

PGtipsplease Tue 14-Jan-20 20:28:40

Thanks so much for the tips and links flowers

Elieza Tue 14-Jan-20 21:18:29

Can someone write up desk instructions for the jobs? They should exist, and if they did you could have been referring to them right now and be confident you are doing things right! Would that woman be up for that now? Or you in future once you do know what you’re doing!

Ask lots of questions. Write the answers down as you think you’ll remember them but you won’t. New woman won’t get pissed off if you ask different questions. If you keep asking the same questions though I’d lose my rag too!

Frequency Tue 14-Jan-20 21:26:46

I'm in a new job atm (IT support) and I know I've made a few stupid mistakes. I usually realise as I hit send what I've done and once I press send there is no way to unsend. There are also times when I put the phone and the my brain kicks into gear and I immediately think of something that would almost certainly have fixed the problem, and again, once something has been ticketed to a higher department you can't bring it back and re-do it.

I'm not panicking though. I'm new and I'll learn. I've had enough career changes to know it takes a good few months to fully settle in and longer to fully learn a role.

Also, as someone who has trained staff, my biggest tip would be don't panic, don't rush, don't overthink things and expect to make mistakes. You'll learn quicker from them if you're not beating yourself up over them and panicking that you'll do it again.

chocolateteapot20 Tue 14-Jan-20 21:35:56

Also to add there are great little tutorials for all things Office on YouTube. I've been using the dratted programs (and many others) for around 30 years and I still forget things, and menus get moved, and it depends on how it's been set up on the individual computer and....

And to cheer yourself up, have a look at (recently given a bit of a facelift - the information was always great but it was a wee bit old fashioned looking until very recently)

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