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Just majorly fucked up things for my 6 year old - what’s wrong with me?

(106 Posts)
Drinkandknowthings Sun 08-Dec-19 12:11:59

I missed a text from the school about Christ jumper day and DD was the only child not wearing a Christmas jumper. She’s 6 and was really upset.

Today I sent her to a birthday party at 12 with DH to find it had been on at 10 to 12.

I’m so upset for her and disgusted at myself for making such stupid mistakes.

Scarletoharaseyebrows Sun 08-Dec-19 12:14:38

No point being disgusted. She will survive I promise. We've all done daft things.
I now take photos of all school letters and invitations on my phone so I have a record always on hand.
It's a busy time, be kind to yourself.

RickOShay Sun 08-Dec-19 12:17:25

It’s ok, really it is. Forgive yourself, and promise yourself to be more aware. That’s it. No recriminations.
We’ve all done it.

Foghead Sun 08-Dec-19 12:18:59

You haven’t majorly fucked things up! Don’t worry about it now. These things happen and lots of parents have done similar.
Try to sort it out so it doesn’t happen again.

I’ve learnt now that anything to do with dcs goes straight into the calendar up on the wall and into my phone calendar. As soon as I find out, I do straight away.

Then teach your dd to check it regularly. My dcs are great at checking the calendar and remind me of their stuff.

I used to remember everything and never used a diary before kids so it took me a while to get admit that I did need one and learn how to use it effectively.

SecondaryBurnzzz Sun 08-Dec-19 12:20:19

We've all done it OP, it's character forming for your DD grin!
It's a busy time of year with lots going on, so cut yourself some slack.
Don't be 'disgusted' with yourself though - that's a bit OTT.

IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory Sun 08-Dec-19 12:22:26

You haven’t massively fucked anything up. You’ve just made a couple of mistakes. Sounds like you just need to take a bit more time when reading letters/invitations and make sure you’ve got the details right. Store them in your phone calendar and check it each morning to see what needs to happen for the day ahead.

frugalkitty Sun 08-Dec-19 12:22:29

I send my son to a party in the wrong day once! I'd written it the calendar for Sunday instead of Saturday. Don't be too hard on yourself, we've all done it. And she won't be the only one in school to not have something on a particular day, even non uniform days get missed sometimes, especially in primary school flowers

Paperyfish Sun 08-Dec-19 12:22:46

It happens. I sent my youngest to school on Friday in mufti. It wasn’t mufti day. In my defence it was at my daughters school! He just had to wear lost property all day. Nbd

Doubleraspberry Sun 08-Dec-19 12:23:00

Please be kind to yourself. We’ve all had moments like you, and felt cross with ourselves, and the kids live. I missed my eldest’s first nativity by getting the time wrong for example. There’s so much going on at this time of year too. I find it very stressful and wish the schools would dial down the amount of stuff to remember to be honest.

Drinkandknowthings Sun 08-Dec-19 12:25:40

I do have a calendar but it was just the time I had wrong for the party. DD2 has been sick all week and I think I was just skim reading things and I’ve had very little sleep.

AFireInJuly Sun 08-Dec-19 12:26:15

No, you haven't "massively fucked up". They were mistakes. Maybe put in place a system to help you not make the same mistakes in future. There seems to be a common theme in that both mistakes were diary-related. When I get a text or an email about an appointment/party etc, I know that I will forget unless I put it in my diary immediately, so now I always make sure I do (and set a reminder). Do you have a diary on your phone?

Ostanovka Sun 08-Dec-19 12:30:45

I do things like this and it's because I've got too much on. You have a dh, it's his responsibility too.

Frenchw1fe Sun 08-Dec-19 12:30:57

Could you take dc out somewhere fun this afternoon? Doesn't have to be expensive, perhaps Christmassy.

Drinkandknowthings Sun 08-Dec-19 12:31:36

I have a paper diary because I find I need to write things down to remember them and it’s always worked until now. I think it was just the fact I’ve been so tired this week. First DD2 was throwing up and then when she got over that she was just tired and is screaming constantly (she’s almost 3)

Drinkandknowthings Sun 08-Dec-19 12:34:26

The birthday girls mom has been amazing and taken DD to their house so she can play for a while. We’re under a weather warning and with DD2 under the weather we don’t really want to go out later. I’ll make biscuits with her later - she’ll like that.

KellyHall Sun 08-Dec-19 12:35:54

Why don't you get dd her own calendar? She can get used to understanding how things are organised and as her reading improves, she can remind you!

Don't feel bad, really, life is busy and some things just don't go right. It's not like you forgot to hold her hand and she fell under a bus, or you forgot she was allergic to peanuts and she went in to anaphylactic shock or something! Look at your minor mishaps in perspective.

IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory Sun 08-Dec-19 12:36:16

Ahh! That’s lovely of birthday girl’s mum!

Moltenpink Sun 08-Dec-19 12:36:43

I’ve done both of those, OP. And I cried when I realised about the party! The birthday mum sounds lovely.

Ponoka7 Sun 08-Dec-19 12:38:26

Sort working on DH taking some of the mental load.

But unless it's written down, I don't remember anything.

TammyKat Sun 08-Dec-19 12:38:35

The birthday girls mum is lovely!. But please don’t worry, we’ve all done stuff like that

Littleshortcake Sun 08-Dec-19 12:40:04

Honestly it's totally understandable with being sick. Birthday girls mum is lovely i think I would get her a small token to say thanks.

Drinkandknowthings Sun 08-Dec-19 12:41:29

DD does actually have a diary that starts in January.

None of this is DHs fault. He doesn’t get the texts from the school or the invitations. He doesn’t know that I mis-read the texts. I’m a SAHM so this is how we split things.

MustardScreams Sun 08-Dec-19 12:42:35

Dot beat yourself up! You’ll do worse things as they older I’m sure grin

I have a whiteboard stuck to the front door, I religiously write down things needed for nursery/birthday parties/presents/meetings etc when I get in from work in the evening. Has worked a charm so far.

Boppingbooper Sun 08-Dec-19 12:43:09

I'm pretty organised in general but there's been times when life has been very busy and I've got things wrong with kids stuff. I once took my ds to school on an inset say grin I was so confused when I got to school, could park easy and skipped up to the gate with him in his uniform. Where the care taker struggled to hide his amusement.

I also got my dds best friends party time wrong but I got there early so we sat in the car outside for a while. Went in at what I thought was the correct time to be told we were an hour and a half late blush

I've accidentally sent the kids to school in uniform on non uniform days.

My dc are older now and I can honestly say it did them no harm. We laugh about it now. They kids tease me sometimes about some of the things I've done/forgetten especially when I talk about how important it is to be organised grin

As a side note. We have a family calendar app which me, dh and elsedst dc all use. It have the option to take a photo of letters/invitation and keep then as memos. I don't forget things or muddle up times when things get so buys as much since having the app. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to recommend it here? So it may be removed but it's called famcal.

Your dd will be fine. She's getting food lesson- adults are not perfect, they forget things and make mistakes and that's okay.

Lifeinthedeep Sun 08-Dec-19 12:43:31

If this is fucking things up for her then maybe you’re putting yourself under too much pressure to be perfect

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