Christmas present dilemma

[Chickenitalia]

Need some ideas for how to manage the presents this year please.
We will be at PILs from 22nd to 26th Dec.
DHs other siblings and their children will all be there for 24th and 25th.
As a family we have all agreed to only buy for the kids and for PIL, and this is fine.
Discussions have been had as to what the children all want, and mine are the only ones who want actual gifts rather than money or vouchers. This is also fine, happy to give what things are wanted, but it means that on Christmas Day, mine will be opening gifts and the others will basically all have cards. I know that at least a couple of the other children will complain because they’re still at the age where size is all that matters in gifting, they won’t see that the value is equal. There is often a dig or two at DH and I for staying longer (due to distance, believe me I wish I could go for just a few hours) and I know from previous experience, the other siblings sit about and won’t parent the children, expecting mine to ‘share’ their gifts around. They aren’t things that will share easily and it always ends in fighting and tears. I don’t want that again.

Any thoughts as to how I can manage this? I’ve considered taking the gifts out to the car still wrapped and letting the kids have them once we’re home, but that feels unfair on them, or perhaps opening them on the 23rd when no one else is there, but DH thinks that would cause more problems as his parents are obsessed about everyone opening things one by one so everyone can see. Whatever I do I am sure it will be my fault.

Any other ideas or ways to manage this please?

[EscapeTheCastle]

I've read your post a twice and I can't think of a good solution.
I can see this being quite the problem on Christmas morning and Boxing day. The cousins whos parents say they want vouchers - sounds like the kids actually want and need some toys.
How awkward.

[BooksAreMyOnlyFriends]

It sounds like the other kids get bored. Can you take some board games to whip out once the presents have been opened? Once they're occupied quietly remove the presents. The kids in our extended family also enjoy charades, who am I etc

I would also get some selection boxes to give with the vouchers so they all have something to open.

[ThePortIsSunny]

Have your kid's gifts been bought yet by their grandparents? If not, then I would ask for a voucher for entertainer or Smyths for your own kids! They can then choose their own toys in their own time & most importantly not have to share with their cousins.

[Thelaughinggnome123]

Can you put your children's new toys away to play with them at home and bring some board games for all the family to play, or bring some cheap toys from the charity shop for all the children to play with.
you could also ask for money/vouchers for your children to spend after Christmas or is that too late for this year.

[halcyondays]

If these parents want their kids to have actual gifts to play with they should buy them some actual gifts, not all money or vouchers. They shouldn’t expect other people to share theirs straight after opening.

It’s very strange their parents don’t get them something they can open, how old are they?

It wouldn’t be fair on your dc not to be able to open their presents on Xmas morning.

[Youreterriblemuriel99]

Put the gifts away after a little while and then distract everyone (incl your DC) with some games to play that everyone can get involved with e.g jenga? Junior scrabble?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Can you ask the kids what thry want and buy that not give a voucher?

Or stay home...

[Chickenitalia]

Thanks for the thoughts so far.
To answer a few questions, the gifts have all been bought. I keep tabs of things my kids point out in shops etc so that when the request for ideas comes around in September I’m ready. I suspect the other parents don’t know or don’t want to think about it so just say vouchers or money. My dc are 10 and 6, the others who may well complain are 10, 7, 5, 4. So the toys my kids want are likely to be quite desirable to them as well.

Family games to have available is a great idea, will go with a few of those for sure. The child supervision usually falls to me as DH is in the kitchen and everyone else just drinks... if I could stay at home I totally would (and next year will be due to work patterns). Because of distance we don’t see the other children and they are too young for phones etc to text and ask or I would!

I’m so over Christmas already.

[Chickenitalia]

Oh and I would go with the selection box idea too but they all say they may have nuts in and one cousin is severely allergic. So no nuts or possibility of nuts even in the building. Any brands that are safe that you could point me towards? Thanks.

[LemurLemur]

Kinnerton's do a guaranteed nut free selection box. I've seen them in Iceland but sure other places stock them. Our local store had a Toy Story and a Frozen variation

[Goodebe]

Kinnerton - i saw some lovely ones in Asda today. We have an allergic child too so always get these.

[NatashaRomanov]

Can you explain to your children, and have an empty suitcase in your room. Once presents are opened, remove your childrens' gifts, and put them in the suitcase until the other children have left.
Your children are old enough to understand that it would be preferable to protect their new toys!

Have some cheap board games, dvds, and suitable snacks ready to entertain everyone.

Or better yet, you hide in the kitchen with some bubbly/chocolate/your pick of posion, and leave the other adults to supervise for a change!

[FraglesRock]

I'd prep my kids to say that other children aren't getting actual presents but people have got you lovely gifts. Are you happy to share playing with after you open them? You can share, put them in the car or put them in your room (if no other kids will go looking)

[LunarCrane]

I like the idea of putting their gifts away after opening. Or I would just let them open them beforehand and sau it was ao you didn't have to drive too much stuff about.

Also, the cousins seem very young to be wanting money and vouchers - I associate those more with teens! Is it more that those are what the parents want them to have?

[ThePortIsSunny]

Kinnerton chocolate is nut free and it's usually found in the pound shop, B&M and Morrisons.

[greenlobster]

I'd take along some cheap games/toys/craft stuff etc from a pound shop that the kids could all dig into.

I'd probably also piss all the parents off by ignoring voucher requests and buying all the kids a toy each. They're kids ffs, they need toys to open on Christmas day.

[FraglesRock]

And I'd also ignore all the children too. Start a jigsaw off with your children and ignore all the carnage around you

[SE13Mummy]

I think I'd either say to the other adults that I'd like to give an actual item as a gift and ask for ideas or I'd shrink the value of each voucher and buy a family game for each set of cousins. That way there would definitely be something to play with.

[Illeana]

Ask for a voucher so your kids can buy their toys after Xmas. Or put the gifts away immediately. I wouldn’t let them be shared around!

[Chapellass]

If you think you know what the other kids would want given similar ages to yours, why don't you buy them presents with a gift receipt?

[RainbowMum11]

By the ages of the kids, I would def split a voucher with a toy or game so they have something tangible there & then. They are still too young for just money/vouchers (and even now at nearly 40 I get 'something to open' as well as an envelope!)

[RainingFrogsAndHats]

Anyone else who's heart is breaking for 4 kids aged 10 and under getting vouchers? of course they dont "get" that as a gift and naturally they're yearning after actual presents and games.
This is really sad for them.

Great advice about having games ready, but I feel very sorry for those poor kids

[tumpymummy]

I would get the vouchers as requested, but for a lower value then use that money to buy the other kids something small to actually play with. It seems so mean that they wont have something to open on xmas day. My kids still get presents over vouchers and they are old teenagers.

[Herocomplex]

Won’t they have presents to open from their own parents on Christmas Day?

[Blackbear19]

Actually I'd ask the parents again and tell them youd rather buy something to open rather than vouchers. Reminding them last year the kids didn't seem to enjoy / understand on the day.
If the can't give you ideas I'd be tempted to pick the same for the 10 yo as you've asked for your 10yo, the 7 and 5 yes the same as your 6 yo, and something suitable for the 4 yo.

Next year if they suggest vouchers say yours want vouchers too. Then end it the following year- what is the point in passing vouchers around?