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Colleagues ignoring me - taking bets on how long they can keep it up

(101 Posts)
skiddley Wed 13-Nov-19 14:01:03

Just that really. Started tail end of last year, all ok. This summer I got my hours a little bit redjusted to for childcare issues and that's when the fun started. Little snipes here and there. I had a day off and came back to being ignored. Only spoken to about work and only the briefest of replies if I asked anything else. They would chat, when I joined in, that was the chat over.

I spoke to my manager to say I was feeling left out. Her response was flat denial rather than caring. She asked for examples, all my examples were shit cos I was caught on the hop (I shouldn't have been, that was my fault) but I did mention no one ever has asked if I had a nice weekend.

Following Monday, she passes round the work and jokes shell need to give me less as illl be so busy telling everyone about my weekend. Cue lots of sniggerring. The y had obviously gone and told them what I'd said. That week was awful and I went off sick. 4 weeks later, I am pumped full of citalopram and I'm loving it. Came back to work last week andnot one person has asked me if I'm feeling better . No one is speaking at all. Therr is a total silence the whole time I'm in. Chat goes on when j go to the loo, stops when I'm back.

I'm being perverse but I am loving it. I am waiting to see how long they continue to ignore me cos I'm loving the silence. I work tuesday to Thursday so they can chat alm the like those days but right now I am wondering if they will take this right up to xmas. Thay is going to be a fun Christmas lunch grin

OldEvilOwl Wed 13-Nov-19 14:05:27

How many people do you work with? Is there a ringleader?

mummmy2017 Wed 13-Nov-19 14:08:30

Time for some fun.
Luxury sweets, stick to Skiddley on the label, everyone will suspect someone in the office.

Paythosebitchesnomind269 Wed 13-Nov-19 14:40:19

Been there, worked with a bunch of utter twats. Heavily pregnant and they were evil to me. Manager and HR could not care less.

Glad you are able to rise above it x

mencken Wed 13-Nov-19 14:41:24

ringleader is the manager so you are on a hiding to nothing. Change jobs, life is too short.

Spitsandspots Wed 13-Nov-19 14:41:56

What a nasty bunch!
Is there a HR department where you work?
I know I would find that situation awful

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=5879

beckyvardy Wed 13-Nov-19 14:44:58

Start logging it op because if you ever decided to go for constructive dismissal you will need all of the evidence you can get.

Diary every day of all involved.

If you can stick it out I would see a solicitor now to see if this will be classed as constructive dismissal.

Hope your ok. What a gang of complete twats.

May50 Wed 13-Nov-19 14:53:33

My situation is not quite the same but i work in a dept of 9 people in total and one woman has been blanking me for about a year now. Presumably I inadvertently offended her or something, I don't know although a couple off years before that she spectacularly feel out with another colleague after accusing her of something which the colleague was adamant she didn't do (and we all believe that as it was ridiculous). She eventually started speaking to her again after a time.
The woman speaks to me regarding work and our interaction then it's fine and chummy looking probably. I am sure that no one else even noticed an issue but she never makes eye contact or says how was your weekend or after a week's holiday she doesn't say anything, we used to chat a lot, but now nothing.
I just find it bizarre (I did used to try and say morning and goodnight, but when it was only her in the office and she steadfastly stares at her screen ignoring me, after a while i just behaved the same way. I'm too old for schools behaviour. ) I'm not overly fussed, just means I'm not going to the dept xmas meal, nobody has asked why though, I assume they think it's for childcare reasons.

Funnily enough i have a vague feeling that she might be pissed off with my flexible working. I do the same hours in total but flex around childcare.

dancingbadger Wed 13-Nov-19 14:59:02

How nasty they sound like a bunch of bullies and your manager sounds really unprofessional. I agree with PP, make a log of it in the future - just in case you need it at a later date. Stay strong OP.

AlpineSnow Wed 13-Nov-19 15:06:08

They sound like a bunch of bullies but I'm glad your citalopram is making you not give a fuck! Hope it wasn't them that made you have to go on it.

GetbusywiththeFizzee Wed 13-Nov-19 15:08:03

Life is too short Skiddley, try and get out of there before Xmas if you can. When you leave, know you’ll be creating a space of them might end up filling.
I agree with others, keep a log of all incidents esp involving manager.

LadyMonicaBaddingham Wed 13-Nov-19 15:15:04

Leave a DVD of 'Mean Girls' on your desk...

shearwater Wed 13-Nov-19 15:39:15

They sound like a bunch of bullies, no better than a group of primary school kids.

skiddley Wed 13-Nov-19 15:44:37

Thanks everyone. Logging everything down but tbh, I an probably leaving a xmas anyway. I'm too old for this shit, had a few bereavement in a fairly short space of time and really cant be aresed anymore. Our mortgage is paid off thankfully and I was going to go on a few years but likely go sooner (small inheritance to come). Doc wanted to sign me off for longer but I'm feeling better than I have had in years.

Pp, funny how childcare issues really do seem to cause a lot of resentment.

Units a small bespoke firm, no HR, and owner is hardly here. It's the classic case of ifbuour face fits . Mine just doesn't

skiddley Wed 13-Nov-19 15:46:26

Yes, exactly like the school playground!!! At my lowest, it was all I could do to stop myself from crying all the time. Now, I'm humming little tunes as i dont give a crap. Hugs to all who are going through similar. Its shitty shityy behaviour and really not nice to work in

GetOffTheTableMabel Wed 13-Nov-19 15:50:56

It sounds pretty ghastly. Like all bullies though, they are hoping for a reaction. I hope you can derive some comfort from the fact that you’re not giving them that pleasure.
It’s probably true that the more cheerful you seem, the crosser they feel. Give them nothing.

Paddington68 Wed 13-Nov-19 15:52:04

If you don't open the post.
Shit in a box and post it in.

Give them something to talk about.

Besidesthepoint Wed 13-Nov-19 15:54:46

Thanks everyone. Logging everything down but tbh, I an probably leaving a xmas anyway.

I'd be tempted to leave without a notice, since they can't really ask if you're coming in without talking to you.... but I can be petty

bisopharm Wed 13-Nov-19 15:57:47

This is bullying, I cant believe adults will stoop so low! Good that you can rise above it OP.

HollowTalk Wed 13-Nov-19 16:00:31

I agree - just don't go back and they'll be forced to ask why.

I would record them when I was out of the office, too, just to see who the main culprit was.

Sinittasdancers Wed 13-Nov-19 16:04:42

I'd definitely leave but wouldn't let on about the inheritance, I'd just subtly let it be known that you'd won big-time on the lottery or something - like multi-millions - and would never have to work again. Just to make them absolutely sick as dogs about it. I bet they'd start talking to you again then, and I bet it would be absolutely hilarious.

Why are some people such utter childish dicks?

HollowTalk Wed 13-Nov-19 16:06:57

I agree about the lottery... a quiet "Oh my god" then pick up your phone and go to the loo, leaving the lottery numbers page open on your computer...

HollowTalk Wed 13-Nov-19 16:07:21

Do that the night before you leave.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Wed 13-Nov-19 16:07:36

OP, you could have some real fun with this. Especially when you leave.

LinnetBird Wed 13-Nov-19 16:09:09

I'm so glad I don't work. OP, look for another job, they sound vile.
In fact just leave, happiness is more important.
Give them two followed by one finger and shout the words cunts on your way out grin

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