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So has he cheated?

(45 Posts)
Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:41:13

Partner confessed today he’s got warts on his penis.
We haven’t had sex in about five months.
All research suggests warts on the penis can only be a STI.

He’s cheated hasn’t he?
He of course says not.
I can’t quite work it out.....

Didntwanttochangemyname Fri 08-Nov-19 21:42:45

Have they only just recently appeared? I'd be very very suspicious!

Drinkciderfromalemon Fri 08-Nov-19 21:45:39

Well either way I'd be getting myself for a check up first off!

2littleChicks Fri 08-Nov-19 21:46:11

I don't have them, but a girl I went to school with did catch them (I know how that sounds!) apparently it can lie dormant for a long long time before appearing again. Like cold sores. There's no way really of knowing unless he's had an outbreak before and never told you before you got together?

Winterdaysarehere Fri 08-Nov-19 21:46:27

Warts can appear from years and years ago....

PersonaNonGarter Fri 08-Nov-19 21:47:24

I think you can have sleeper warts but tbh whether he has them is not the problem - do you?!

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:47:39

Hmmm I haven’t a clue when they appeared. He says in past few weeks.
Yes read it can lay dormant... bit torn really.

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:48:35

Guess I need to get tested.
How on earth do I do that?

FaithInfinity Fri 08-Nov-19 21:49:11

He needs to see a doctor and be tested. Most likely cause is Herpes (STI) but as pp say, it can lie dormant for years and then they have a tendency to appear when someone is run down.

It doesn’t sound like there’s much trust there though?

CherryPlum Fri 08-Nov-19 21:50:34

How long have you been together?

StayClassySally Fri 08-Nov-19 21:51:16

Why haven't you had sex for five months?

They can be dormant and he says he hasn't cheated. If you had an active sex life then I'd imagine they were dormant and came to life but could he have gone elsewhere for five months and that's why he hasn't tried with you or is there an explanation?

CherryPlum Fri 08-Nov-19 21:51:29

And what made him confess?

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:52:09

9 years two kids.
If he has cheated I get why. Small children lack of interest on both parts more mine. He’s been working evening shifts for work so plenty of chances.

holidays987 Fri 08-Nov-19 21:52:12

How long have you been together? If it's many, many years and this is the first time he's had warts I would be very sceptical.

So many people seem to cheat. And lie.

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:54:14

Confession was became he wanted to come in to boots with me today to get Some wart freezing stuff.
Which I’ve told him is stupid to use in a sensitive body part but he doesn’t want to go to a gum clinic. 🤷🏼‍♀️ But that’s by the by.

CherryPlum Fri 08-Nov-19 21:54:21

If this is the first time he's had warts in 9 years, then yes he probably has cheated. That would be a very very long time for it to be dormant.

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 21:56:06

Urg feels like I’m drip feeding sorry. We had vauge convo now i think back about him getting warts before from an ex.
So maybe they have popped back. Quite stressed at the moment...

CherryPlum Fri 08-Nov-19 21:57:16

So, what is your gut feeling?

meow1989 Fri 08-Nov-19 22:00:53

What does your gut say? Though if you had a precious conversation about it it would seem less suspicious. To get yourself tested just google your local gum clinic and book and appointment.

I have to say, the idea of using over the counter freezing stuff in that area has made my toes curl! Surely that's not advised?!

Salene Fri 08-Nov-19 22:02:12

Once you have the virus you have it for life, and they can reappear years later, on and off. Normally when immune system is low.

DameFanny Fri 08-Nov-19 22:02:35

Genital warts can lead to cervical cancer - I'm sorry OP. You both need to go and get checked out - with the GP if that's quickest.

As to whether he's cheated or not - I've no idea. If the virus has been dormant, is there something else that's happened recently that could have lowered his immunity and led to a break out? If he has cheated, what would you want to do?

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 22:09:52

He’s on a drug for psriosis that lowers immune system and had flue jab and has a cold.
I’d normally say he’s to dumb to lie, he can’t keep them straight but maybe that’s the sort of thing you have to keep a check on.
Gut says no but I don’t wish to be made a fool off nor do I wish to have only 50/50 time with my kids.

Inadarkroom Fri 08-Nov-19 22:11:02

@meow1989 yeah makes me feel odd too. Not something I’d do to my private’s but he’s adamant no doctors invoked. Stupid.

DameFanny Fri 08-Nov-19 22:13:52

Immune suppressant plus a virus would certainly challenge his system.

Now ask him if he wants to see a doctor with warts, or if he wants to go to a&e with chemical burns on his bits.

PJ67 Fri 08-Nov-19 22:14:06

I would go to your local GUM clinic. That can give you advice about yourself and also give you an opinion whether they could have occurred without him having sex with someone else.

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