Fear of driving on motorways

[chillandrelax]

I have been driving for 22/23 years and have a huge fear of driving on motorways. It hasn't really stopped me doing anything as I will happily take the scenic route, catch a train, or someone else will drive. DH isn't a great passenger, so is always happy to drive.

However, I am starting to get frustrated with myself. Would love to take my children to the beach on a sunny day but that would mean driving on a motorway.

Does anyone have any advice?

Has anyone ever got over their fear?

My biggest concern is joining the motorway any crashing.

Thank you

[HunterAngel]

I hated motorway driving when I first passed my test. My way around it was to find a spot where the junctions were only a few miles apart and just stay in the left lane. Did that a few times until I felt confident enough change lanes then built myself up to go further. Most important bit of advice I can give is always check your blind spot when switching lanes (motorcycles are pretty good at vanishing in that one place your mirrors don’t cover) and never linger alongside lorries, their blind spot is huge particularly if it’s a foreign lorry. Remember if you can’t see their mirror they can’t see you!

[Loopytiles]

I had this fear and took motorway driving lessons, then felt the fear and did it anyway, without the DC, then with them. I still don’t enjoy it but can do it.

Your DH “not being a good passenger” won’t be helping. My DH is an anxious, critical passenger and it’s not on. One of the reasons I have anxiety about driving is (IMO) how my father treated my mother when driving.

[Batshittery]

There are driving schools who do lessons on motorway driving. Why not give that a try?

[whatohwhattodo]

What motorways are near you - if you. Heck out the junctions - if any have the join where the joining lane turns into its own lane then would that be less daunting as you don't have to merge?

But defiantly have a motorway lesson.

[Aldibaldi555]

Watching with interest as I feel the same.

Can’t decide whether to tackle the issue or quit........

[Expressedways]

How are you on dual carriageways? The big ones really aren’t that different to motorways and you could build your confidence practising slip roads and over taking without the mental block of it actually being a motorway. Getting some advanced driving lessons is a really good idea though. And I’m also wondering how much of the problem is your DH. What do you mean by he isn’t a good passenger? Does he get car sick if he’s not driving or does he criticise your driving and destroy your confidence?

[nikkylou]

I can't help with the fear.

But tbh I've had more concern joining an dual carriageway than a motorway, as at least you have a hard shoulder on the motorway or a well thought out merge on the smart motorways...

Go with someone you trust. Pick a non busy time. Don't have a destination other than the next junction or the services for a coffee.

Motorways are big roads, but all the traffic is going one way. Many motorways are getting upgraded crash barriers and they are mostly good maintained roads. They're not "safe" but as roads go, I do sometimes feel safer on them than on a windy, narrow back road.

Is it the lorries? They do feel close sometimes but they're generally quite consistent. Honestly sometimes it's been safer to stay doing 55 in the inside lane, than going from 60 to 50 to 65 in the middle, but not been able to over take the lot because the outside lane wants to do 80...

[RolytheRhino]

Motorways are much safer than country lanes, realistically. Country lanes have blind bends, hidden dips and unexpectedly twisty corners. Motorways are far more predictable and easier to drive on. You get used to the merging. Just start by going on when the roads are really quiet and build up from there.

[PushkinTheCat]

What helped for me was a couple of motorway lessons with an instructor, who gave me some useful tips about overtaking. But the key part was going out the next day in the car on the motorway myself and repeating the route we’d taken (just down to the next junction and back).

I was absolutely bricking it but this, plus a lot of practice over the last year (we live somewhere where you’re effectively limiting your options if you refuse to get on the motorway), has effectively broken the fear for me and now I don’t bat an eyelid about the M25 in rush hour.

[PushkinTheCat]

Early on Sunday mornings is an excellent time to practise on motorways, by the way!

[Parky04]

You just need practice. Early Sunday morning the motorways will be very quiet. 99.9% of drivers will slow down to let you join the motorway. Just don't hog the middle lane!

[GeriAtric]

I had the same fear. I was terrified of joining from the slip roads and avoided motorways for that reason. When I changed jobs I had no choice but to travel so I just had to bite the bullet and do it. I've always found that most motorway drivers are considerate and will move over for traffic joining from slip roads. Slower moving trucks who don't move over often flash me on. Motorway driving lessons are a really good suggestion.

[blahblahblahblahhh]

Motorways are statistically hugely safer than dual carriageway roads and single carriage way roads.

[Frouby]

I am exactly the same as you OP.

When I was first driving, 20 years ago I got a job as a sales rep. Was travelling up to 100 miles away daily for months, on and off motorways, negotiating strange city centres, country lanes and finding 3 or 4 residential addresses a day with map books as sat navs were very new. Plus my car was basically a skateboard, an old clapped out metro that had a manual choke to start it.

Didn't give it a second thought.

Stopped driving for 2 years when I was pg with dd (car blew up and couldn't afford to replace, then was a single parent). Then when I did get a car motorways terrified me. Still do and haven't drove on one for 16 years.

Am absolutely fine on A roads and country roads. A bit nervous going new places but usually manage.

For me it's not the speed, its getting on the motorway and switching lanes that terrifies me and the idiots that whizz around at 100mph. I'm not worried about my driving it's other peoples driving.

[puppyconfetti]

My biggest concern is joining the motorway

Do you not drive on dual carriageways? A slip road is a slip road is a slip road.

[Popetthetreehugger]

I can't do motorways either . Or fast A roads . It's lorries bullying me as I'm not a fast enough driver . Iv got progressively bigger cars in the hope it will give me more confidence . Iv spent thousands in an attempt to get past this . It's not just being scared, it's panicking to such an extent I can't hold the wheel ! Ever the optimist , I'm going to have some hypnosis as 30 years is quite enough!

[chillandrelax]

I actually think my concerns are also the big junctions and getting lost.

I do dual carriageways but the ones near me don't have slip roads but I'm a little tense on them.

[chillandrelax]

I actually think my concerns are also the big junctions and getting lost.

I do dual carriageways but the ones near me don't have slip roads but I'm a little tense on them.

[Elieza]

A few lessons in a dual control car with a driving instructor should help. If that’s too OTT then driving with a trusted friend. It’s just practice. Nobody’s going to let you crash into them if the can possibly help it! Pick sliproads on that are long with good sight lines so you can see for miles and work out what car to merge behind or in front of. It will be fine with a bit of practice.

[chillandrelax]

M25 and M3 are the nearest motorways.

[PushkinTheCat]

Well, the M3 will have a lower idiot ratio than the M25! The latter is not what I would call a normal motorway...

[BlaueLagune]

I don't like them either. I get very sweaty hands and feel like the wheel is really slippery. I keep a small towel on my knee so I can wipe my hands. And yes, it's big dual carriageways too. Joining isn't fun but also when other people come belting down a slip road and force their way on, you can't always move over if someone is in the middle/outside lane.

I am fine when there is an enforced speed limit - the problem for me is that I am ok to do 65-70 but everyone else belts along at 90 and makes me feel like I am standing still. If there is a 60 (or 50) limit it's fine.

I try to avoid them where possible - taking the scenic route is fine.

Surely you can go to the beach without having to use a motorway? Where do you live? Odds on there are other routes you can take, at least part of the way.

[TheTurn0fTheScrew]

ah, if one of your problems is getting fear of getting lost then motorways are your friend. You can only go in one direction, and exits are clearly signed well in advance. Check your route beforehand and make a note of your junction name and number, and you can count down.

I am a terrible navigator, and so hate city centres, particularly ring roads (special mention to Leeds here), but motorways are the easiest navigating you'll ever do.

[Expressedways]

The m3 is a smart motorway I think so there’s no short slip road to worry about and you have ages to pull out. It’s also covered in speed cameras which limits the number of idiots speeding. Also if you regularly drive on the A3 (presuming it’s near you if you’re near the m25/m3) and are fine with that then you’ve got this- it’s a seriously busy road with 3 lanes in a lot of places! The motorway really isn’t any more difficult.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

I don’t like driving on them in the dark but I’m okay during the day. I always thought of myself as a confident driver too. The bloody roundabouts scare me, the lanes aren’t always clearly marked and if you come off at the wrong exit you feel like a complete idiot and have got to drive for miles before you can turn around again.

I’m actually missing a meal with friends the night before before a day out later on in the year, because I want to drive down on the day so I can stay overnight afterwards and drive back home in the daylight, big wuss that I am.