Yet another fecking gift experience that is useless

[Jaggypinecone]

I am utterly sick of these. I know they are well intentioned but I have never used any yet as they are too far away or just not our thing.

I'd hoped to avoid this happening again by 'having the conversation' with the person who usually buys me one for Xmas but it arrived early as he can't make it home for Xmas this year.

When you think about it, it's basically telling someone how you think they should spend their time. Time is the most precious gift of all and I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule. It was bought down in London so is London centric. Given I live in the Scottish Highlands the nearest thing is in Edinburgh - sigh!

Straight to charity shop. And I'll need to 'have the conversation' well before xmas time next year. Any advice on how best to word this?

[blue25]

Wow you sound so ungrateful. Surely you don’t spend all year in the Scottish Highlands. Do you not go on trips/holidays to other parts of the UK where you could use it?

[OnTheEdgeOfTheNight]

"Thanks for sending me xxx. Unfortunately I won't be able to use it, and wondered if you'd like me to return it, so someone else can get the pleasure of it."

[Hoolajerry]

What's the experience? You sound really ungrateful to be honest.

[SprinkleDash]

You sound ungrateful as fuck!

You don’t deserve anything at all!

[kalinkafoxtrot45]

I wouldn’t like this either. I dread the day someone decides I would like a “spa experience” - my idea of hell. Especially in a country where people use saunas nude, there is no way you could even bribe me.

[Babyg1995]

Oh I would love this are you unable to travel ? We are in Scotland and travel all over the UK for days out.

[DownUdderer]

I hate Christmas gifts that are difficult to use or next to useless. You don’t need to be grateful to receive something crap. My Christmas gifts always end up at the charity shop, it’s just a job for me. Eurgh.

[Pepperoniextracheese]

Surprised at the responses, I buy these occasionally but only when I'm sure that its something the recipient will a) enjoy and b) be able to get to easily. Otherwise it's just lazy gift buying. Convenient for the buyer only.

[VanGoghsDog]

I don't want to spend mine shoehorning an afternoon tea for two at some shitty hotel or a fecking segway trip into my already busy schedule.

I'm with you OP, I've had both of those, purchased via Groupon so really restrictive use options. Neither got used. I love afternoon tea but it just couldn't be done within the restrictions. The Segway nonsense couldn't be done partly due to weather, partly location.
At the time they were given to my then dp by his sister, for both of us, we didn't live together, he has a son he had every other weekend and no alternative childcare options.....and I think the tea was week days only anyway, when we're at work. Plus she'd bought them in October, gave them to us for Christmas, they ran out early Feb.

Idiotic.

[Mumdiva99]

Have you called the experience company....many of them will exchange for something else they sell.

[BarbaraofSeville]

It's not about being ungrateful, it's the sheer frustration at the waste and the extra time and money required to use the gift that makes it more hassle than it's worth and not a thoughtful gift.

What if the OP doesn't want a mini break to Edinburgh that's likely to take time, money and possibly holidays from work too?

DP hasn't used his last two Christmas gifts from MIL because one was a voucher for a single delivery of beer that could only be ordered if you signed up to a monthly subscription. I ordered the first crate of beer in my name because I knew he would never cancel the subscription and we would end up paying for months of overpriced beer of a type that he doesn't drink - it was a right pain phoning to cancel the subscription, being on hold and having to fight off their attempts to keep subscribing.. We still have most of the beer in the booze cupboard because he doesn't like that type and I've vowed to use it up this year in lots of steak and ale type meals.

Then last year she bought us a voucher for a certain bar that DP doesn't like in a city that's a pain to get to.

Id' really rather she bought nothing, as she doesn't have a lot of money to waste like this.

[RebootYourEngine]

I don't think OP sounds ungrateful at all.

It is such a waste of money. Getting from the Highlands to Edinburgh will mean that the OP will have to use their own money to travel there and I am assuming for accommodation too.

I would have preferred the gift buyer spent £5 on a box of chocolates than £100s of pounds on a gift experience that I can not use.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Have you called the experience company....many of them will exchange for something else they sell

Tried this, it's usually during a very short timeframe, that invariably runs out before Christmas, because these crappy gift experiences are generally bought by organised types 'who like to get ahead'.

[Aragog]

I don't think the OP is being particularly ungrateful to be frustrated that she's being given a gift that she can't use. It's a long way from the highlands to Edinburgh!

Can you pass it on to a friend perhaps?

[Gemma2019]

What is it? I'll have it! Maybe you could sell it on eBay and buy yourself something with the money.

[Windydaysuponus]

Last time we got one we had to pay for hotel, organise dc care, time off work.
I see your point op...

[hidinginthenightgarden]

I think whilst you sound ungrateful, the reality is, you have tried to direct the giver of these gifts away from them and they have ignored you. In that case they don't actually care about what they are giving you do they? It is just for appearances so they can say that they gave you something!
I alos find it frustrating when someone gifts you something that will then cost YOU to actually do. Trains to London are not cheap!

[labazsisgoingmad]

if you really dont want it why dont you ebay it i would be amazedballs with a gift like this. maybe the person is stuck for gift ideas and/or doesnt get chance to get out shopping. present shopping is a flippin nightmare

[cricketmum84]

I think if it's thoughtfully done then it can be a lovely gift.

For example - my DH got me a gift experience of a day handling birds of prey. Omg perfect gift for me and I had an amazing day.

A friend got us an afternoon tea type experience for a hotel in a city 50 miles away which we never even used.

It's only a good gift if you actually think about the person you are giving it to!

[PearlsBeforeWine]

What is it. OP? Might buy it off you

[NoHummus]

You don't sound ungrateful and anyone who says you do clearly doesn't live in the Highlands! You are being kind to pass it on to charity. If you've already told the person that experience gifts are unsuitable and they continue to waste their money, that's up to them.

[Jaggypinecone]

I know I sound ungrateful. I'm really not. I love my friend and am touched by his kindness each year however it is not a thoughtful gift. I am lucky in that I want nor need for not much. I would rather get nothing. I really am vexed at the thought of him spending this cash (probably £50) where it could go to charity or even just buy a bottle of wine or something.

The experience is a choice of 550. Yes you'd think there was something in there but 90% of the choices are in England and the Scottish ones are in the central belt. I do not wish to travel over 90 miles to have afternoon tea. I lead quite an adventurous life so don't need segwaying, balloon trips and such like. I have no notion to have a makeover as I live a rural life and couldn't give two hoots what I look like. To me, this gift is a hassle. I am not ungrateful but just frustrated. I will be giving it to charity, hopefully someone can use it and enjoy it. For me it's a burden.

[Chickenitalia]

I’m with you op. It’s lazy present giving and I would honestly prefer nothing at all than a waste of money. Yes you could sell it or charity shop, but that’s another job to add to the to-do list and while it seems minor, it’s yet another thing that needs to be done. When you’re already busy it feels like a kick in the teeth.

One extended family member was notorious for this sort of thing, despite being told nicely, given alternatives, told things would go to waste... happiest Xmas ever was the year we all decided to buy for the kids only. So much less stress and waste. Not sure if that would be an option for you but limiting the present buying has worked very well for us.

[EdWinchester]

I hate being given this sort of gift too. We were bought an indoor skydiving experience, somewhere miles away. Very generous but we never used it. Same person also bought us national trust membership (so not us).

All money wasted.

[Drum2018]

You don't sound ungrateful. You are being totally realistic while the gift giver clearly doesn't give a shite about what they give. Do they get these "experience" days out via an online discount website by any chance? I wouldn't thank them for it. However, I would do as suggested by previous poster and tell them that you won't get a chance to use it given it's not local to you, so if they know of anyone else who might appreciate it you could pass it on. That way they probably won't get you anything again - result!