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My house isn’t a ‘real’ house and my toilet isn’t a ‘proper’ toilet !

(114 Posts)
ChocoIateandTea Sat 19-Oct-19 08:54:58

According to my DM ......

I have a council house and a secure lifetime tenancy, according to her this still isn’t a ‘real’ house not like dsis flat as she has a mortgage .......

Dsis has 2 REAL PLUMBED in toilets and my second one is a macerator so it’s not a proper toilet

And best of all my dh who works full time ........ his job ‘isn’t as good or important’ as bil job because .....
Bil wears a suit to work 🤣🤣🤣

I give up I don’t know whether to laugh or cry

Oldraver Sat 19-Oct-19 11:40:06

OP she sounds so much like my Mum... she's so ashamed of me being a single parent, having Tattoos, having a scruffy garden, having a hole in the wall (for 17 years that I won't fix) where the curtain fell down etc.

Everything revolves around how things look to outsiders. When I put a couple of discs out and ended up with sciatica she got my Dad to mow my front lawn as "how will it look to the neighbours " but nothing to actually help me.

We've not seen her for 10 months and I recently sent her a photo of DS, something I had stopped doing. Het first words were OMG he's got acne, is it the kind that scars ? Of all the things she could of said, DS has grown and changed so much in the last year

LenoVintura Sat 19-Oct-19 11:54:36

According to BiL, DH and I aren’t proper parents because a) DS1 is my child from my previous marriage and b) there’s 7 years between him and DS2. Apparently we’ve only had to parent one child so can’t relate to the challenges that proper parents who have two planned DC with a two year gap face hmm.

RueCambon Sat 19-Oct-19 13:45:07

By that rationale only single parents are proper parents. Bet he wouldnt agree to that though!

Cuddlysnowleopard Sat 19-Oct-19 14:20:09

Sorry, I meant open neck shirt ie. no tie, not a Chippendale look grin

MzHz Sat 19-Oct-19 14:40:45

... and she’s not a proper mother...

<shrug>

If she makes you feel bad about yourself, cut her loose. Seriously

Life is too short and too fucking tough to have people who are SUPPOSED to build us up do nothing better than bash us down.

I’ve cut both my parents off, life is immeasurably better!

Itwasntme101 Sat 19-Oct-19 14:55:01

I'd be tempted to do your husbands family tree looking for a link to the aristocracy or royalty just to annoy her

DrCoconut Sat 19-Oct-19 15:26:17

I do think previous generations kept up appearances much more. It was probably detrimental to them but was the done thing. My grandma worried about what colour to wear to her doctors appointment a couple of weeks after my grandad died, in her own childhood a faux pas such as wearing grey instead of black or vice versa would have been very harshly judged. "Age appropriate" is another obsession. On old photos women often look far older than they were once they hit marriage and children territory. Same with cleaning, ironing, washing, packed lunches etc - what will people say if I fall short of perfection? I think in trying to impose this on their daughters and granddaughters they think they are doing the right thing by helping them avoid embarrassment and maintain "standards" but it doesn't really work like that any more does it?

PotterHead1985 Sat 19-Oct-19 15:50:37

@HalfBloodPrincess yep got that to. Only child of a single mother. Told I didn't have a proper family and I couldn't have a proper Christmas as you need a proper family for that. Which is why I am mad obsessed about Christmas!!

HalfBloodPrincess Sat 19-Oct-19 16:03:35

@potterhead1985 That comment was in relation to me saying I wasn't visiting/accepting visitors on christmas day as I wanted it just a family day! And even though I'm remarried with another 2 children now we still go all out at home just the 6 of us so 🖕 to them all 😁

SuperMeerkat Sat 19-Oct-19 16:32:51

@ChocoIateandTea **felled oak trunk**🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂😂 Love this!! DH is only allowed to poo in the downstairs loo due to these issues and actually it isn’t only boys. My DD does some ginormous rubbery shits. At our old house we used to have a ‘poo stick’ which was basically an old broom handle to break up her huge poo’s so they would flush.

sueelleker Sat 19-Oct-19 20:27:40

SuperMeerkat
She doesn't have digestive problems, does she? There's a condition called steatorrhea, where large amounts of fat are passed in the stools, and they tend to float.

itsgettingweird Sat 19-Oct-19 20:31:13

When I was doing my degree through the OU my sister told me it was easy for me as I lived in a HA flat and it was funded.

She's been a LP now for 8 years.

I'm still waiting for her to start her "easy degree" grin

Some people like like to judge - it says more about them than you!

bloodywhitecat Sat 19-Oct-19 20:42:12

My mother held similar views, I was not fit to visit as I lived in a HA house but my sister owned her own home so my parents could visit her (despite the fact there was about 7 miles between my sister's house and mine). The biggest irony, for me, was that both my mum and my sister owned ex-council houses.

Indella Sat 19-Oct-19 20:44:47

Tell her I work with a consultant surgeon, earning over £100k a year, that wears a tracksuit to bike to work where he then changes into scrubs. Does he not have a real job either?

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