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Shittest thing someone has ever done to you

(114 Posts)
madcatladyforever Wed 16-Oct-19 19:00:45

Well probably not the shittiest but some people have such low social skills you wonder how they get through life.
I was in labour in hospital with DS and exH got a phonecall from one of his university friends a woman called Louise, I knew her, she was an idiot so I didn't maintain contact.
ExH took the call and told her I was having the baby and she said can I stay at yours tonight as I'm in the area and haven't got anywhere to say.
Of course the idiot said oh ok instead of it's not convenient today.
Anyway off he went to pick her up from the station and didn't drop her off at our house he brought to her to the fecking hospital.
There I was in labour in agony having been induced and they are on the labour ward asking me stupid questions and talking about university.
Finally I said can you please fuck off now Louise as I'm clearly not in the mood for your banal chit chat and I just want to be alone with my husband for obvious reasons, she started crying and exH said look you've upset her now and they both went off only for him to reappear 24 hours later after the birth to tell me off for being so nasty to her that she had gone back home again [:-s]
I mentioned that he now and father and would he like to see his son, he took a look and pissed off again.
Not surprisingly we divorced very shortly after.

nevergotthehangofthursdays Fri 18-Oct-19 22:45:32

The so-called friends who told me the friendship 'wasn't working' two days after my 21st birthday as we weren't connecting in the right way apparently. hmm

The ex boyfriend (not H thankfully) who talked about interrailing plans with me and his best mate for weeks, then told me that he didn't want me on the trip as it would 'spoil the atmosphere'.

The other ex-boyfriend whose response to my crushing disappointment at my degree grade (I was on my own for a host of circumstantial reasons and could really have done with some company) was 'I've got to go - I'm meeting someone at eight.' I yelled at him ' That's right - run away like you always do' and then, you'll be pleased to know, dumped him by letter. (This was a good decade or two before e-mails and texts.)

And finally, a so-called best friend in school who regularly used to freeze me out and verbally wind me up. I remember her roundly abusing me for making a suggestion for the school Christmas fair one year, and finding her reaction incomprehensible.

That felt good. None of them were crimes of the (last grin) century, but boy does it feel good to let it out.

Chesntoots Fri 18-Oct-19 22:17:11

After 5 years together he decided it was a better idea to take his ex away for 2 weeks than to take me... don't even get me started!

Littlewhitedove Fri 18-Oct-19 21:59:59

Our first child, a daughter was very sadly stillborn. It was a truly unimaginably sad time for us. We were very lucky to have our son a couple of years later. One day when he was a baby I came home from somewhere with him to find a card in the post from the local NHS Health Visitor team inviting us to attend our deceased daughters 3 year development check. I remember sitting with the bloody card in my hand shaking. I eventually calmed down enough to call the number on the card and explained (choking back the tears)to the woman who answered what had happened. I'll always remember the silence down the phone as she processed what I was saying. That was 20 years ago and I still get upset thinking about it.

Dowser Fri 18-Oct-19 20:17:39

Oh my god abbey
What a nasty piece of work
Can’t believe a sister would do that with someone’s pet 😱

Dowser Fri 18-Oct-19 20:15:21

I want you to be very gentle with me as I wasn’t on Mnet at the time and as my 30 year marriage was crumbling beneath me I think I was suffering some kind of ptsd..I certainly wasn’t very with it.
So , my miserable fat bastard of a husband tells me he loves me but isn’t in love with me, which I know now that ‘old chestnut’
There’s no one else...he’s trying to find his way back to me...someone please give me a sick bucket

So it’s Easter and we are going up to Edinburgh. 2 days before our trip, in the evening, he tells me he’s found someone else. The next day I’m up and out early to my friends, crying all over her.
The next day, like a zombie in a dream we set off for Edinburgh. He barely speaks to me...he’s wearing ear buds and listening to wailing women on his how my daughter describes it.

So we have two days in Edinburgh..all passes fairly well
We set off for home on the Easter Monday and as he’s driving, he tells me he made it up...he wasn’t having an affair.

I didn’t know about gas lighting then. I honestly thought we were back on track.this hot and cold behaviour continued for an astonishing 6-7 months when he finally tells me on Christmas Eve, yes he is seeing someone else.
If you think of the scene from love actually, Emma Thompson going into the bedroom to cry...well that was me as I didn’t want to spoil my children’s Christmas

On Boxing Day I gathered my children together to tell them and my sons tell me they already knew. They’d seen him with her.

Completely and utterly wicked.

MulticolourMophead Fri 18-Oct-19 20:10:45

Elbowedout Why didn't your DH just override his mum and just take the DCs, he's the parent there, MIL wasn't.

I don't think much of him, putting his mum over you that day.

Woolyback Fri 18-Oct-19 19:21:09

After years of hearing about the girl that had his baby and how much she had hurt him. I miscarried 'our' baby. It was pretty bad and left me in hospital and infertile.
He told me to pretend it hadn't happened it probably wasn't his etc. I got out of hospital he gave me the son story of how skint he was. I could hardly walk was heartbroken, felt I'd let him down etc. I let him take me to the cash machine so I could get money out for him. I handed the money over and he left me there. I struggled back on my own.
Turns out he needed the money to take his new gf out.
Then I could tell you about the really bad things he did to me

Perpetuallyperplexed27 Fri 18-Oct-19 17:10:50

After a very horrible few months of family troubles, the break up of my relationship and lots of stress and upset a male colleague pursued me. I wasn't looking for a relationship but being in a vulnerable state of mind I think I was more susceptible to him than I usually would have been. He assured me he just wanted to be there for me and wouldn't hurt me bla bla bla.
Turned out to be the single biggest love rat, narcissist and abusive liar I have ever met. The list of things he did is too long to go into but he was vile. I still have to work with him and I hate him with a passion.

IfIHadAPenny Fri 18-Oct-19 16:54:14

My father opened a window upstairs and told me to jump out of it, as I'd be better off dead and everyone would be happier. I was ten at the time.

Wotta guy!

BearSoFair Fri 18-Oct-19 16:48:28

This is the shittiest thing I'm happy to post, a different incident that stands out would be very outing!

Interviewed me for a job, told me it was permanent and I should hand my notice at my current employer, then 3 days later informed me it was actually temporary. I'm still trying to clear up the resulting mess, and now even more stressed than I was when I decided to look for a different job in the first place.

RyVeeta Fri 18-Oct-19 16:33:44

Refusing to visit me in hospital three days after having twins because he was exhausted looking after the twelve year old and two year old, even though my mother was there and he'd actually done bugger all and the hospital had called him because they thought the visit would do me good.
Actually he's done a lot worse, but I've left and I'm happy.

Jimdandy Fri 18-Oct-19 16:10:41


StrongerThanIThought76 Fri 18-Oct-19 05:41:31

Old friend ruined a big family event held for me by sulking in a drunken state the whole evening then creating a massive drama and argument with another friend. Went very low contact.

18m later she sent me a pages-long rant on fb messenger about how rubbish her life was (mostly due to her own alcohol/drug dependency difficulties and absolute refusal to engage with any support offered by many many professionals). I replied that my DP had just been diagnosed with cancer and her reply was "things are a bit shit for you too then".

Not spoken to her since.

TateWorm Fri 18-Oct-19 03:10:22

When I was a single mum after leaving ex I was in a lovely wee council flat with DC and Ddog. Ddog had recently been diagnosed with diabetes so his treatment hadn't been stabilised yet so vet visits were frequent until we found the right level of insulin he needed.

I hadn't realised the overflow from the bathroom had been leaking and because it was winter kept freezing over and made steps at an entrance I rarely used rather icy.

One day I had been out for lunch with family and came home to make sure DDog was fed and had the insulin on schedule to find him collapsed, incredibly weak, unable to move or even drink water from my hand.

I was just about to phone the vet to arrange to have him taken in urgently, when the housing officer came to my door to ask me to phone there and then to have someone fix the leak as I hadn't been in any time they'd been around (because no-one had told me about it or any apparently planned visits). I told her that I couldn't as my dog had collapsed and needed to phone the vet, I even showed her my dog shaking on the floor and she refused to even let me phone the vet before I phoned the company to arrange a time for the repair to be made.

DDog ended up having to stay at the vet for a good few days for fluids and treatment and thankfully was more stable when he came home. I lost him a few years later but I had never forgiven her for that, when I met DH and we went in together on a bigger private rental was one of the best times knowing I would never see her again.

Whomei Fri 18-Oct-19 02:21:53

Boyfriend of 6 years told me out of the blue one day he had met someone else and it was over. Absolute shock to system and years of heartbreak to follow. Worked in same company, and shortly afterwards he called down to speak to me. I work in HR and he wanted me to give him an employment confirmation letter for bank as him and new bitch girlfriend were applying for a mortgage together!

OnTopOfTheWardrobe Fri 18-Oct-19 02:13:51

Pressed send too soon!
- But I a "friend" that I travelled miles from home to see. The arrangement was to stay with said friend at her house. Said friend and I went out, she met some random man. She said to me "Do you mind staying somewhere else so he can come back with me?"
She was serious. She got offended when I said yes, I did mind! I went home next day instead of a few days later as she was giving me the silent treatment- we haven't spoken to this day.
Pales in comparison to this thread, though.

OnTopOfTheWardrobe Fri 18-Oct-19 02:10:00

I can't even talk about the worst thing, it's too painful

Longlongsummer Fri 18-Oct-19 01:47:05

@thecornishpasty bloody hell! That is awful you poor thing. You were dropped in it completely. What a spineless selfish man. I hope you have got better.

thecornishpasty Thu 17-Oct-19 23:58:23

I was with BF for a few years and he worked away. Whenever he was at home he stayed between mine and his mothers house. Did not pay rent as it was only a few days a fortnight and I could manage the mortgage without him. We discussed marriage and chose a ring together, which in due course he bought and proposed with. I began planning the wedding and we got a cat together. He then left his job and got a none travelling one, everything was going great. He wouldn't commit to moving into mine so still spent his time between mine and his mothers, therefore paying no rent to either of us.

My parents offered to pay for half the wedding and me and him split the rest 25% each. We set up an account to transfer an amount each month each in, to reach our target. We chose a venue and bridesmaid dresses and all other bits. I noticed he wasn't putting in his full amount into the savings pot so began subbing him, expecting him to pick up the slack at the end of the saving period.

Invitations went out, everyone booked accommodation and travel. He came home from work one day, told me he wasn't happy, I had forced him into everything and he was leaving and left. I havn't seen him since. I dropped all his stuff off at his mothers, cancelled everything and told everyone what had happened. My parents lost over £10,000 and I spent the next year depressed and alone. He had never paid a penny towards rent or the wedding in all the years I was with him. He moved on quickly and, within a few months, was dating another girl, who he is still with and expecting a baby with. I have no idea if she knows I existed and have never seen him since.

LilyJade Thu 17-Oct-19 20:13:05

A male friend turned out to have been particularly nasty about my appearance behind my back, to this day I don't understand his motivation?

A manager at my old workplace tried to destroy my career & reputation when I was clearly unwell.
Luckily the professional body she reported me to recognised that I was unwell & also that I had done nothing wrong.

SilverySurfer Thu 17-Oct-19 20:07:04

Met a man - made him aware early on that I couldn't have children and he said he didn't want children so all good. Five years later, living together, after a night of good sex and me cooking him his favourite breakfast he told me that he had found someone new. It would have hurt enough but he then added, she can give me what you can't - children. He then thought it entirely reasonable to ask me to give him a lift to the local tube station.

smemorata Thu 17-Oct-19 19:52:20

At the end of my first year in uni I organised a whip round to buy our cleaner a present - she was more than a cleaner really and we were all really close to her so lots of donations. I unexpectedly had to leave for a family matter so a girl whom I regarded as a friend offered to take the money and be in charge of buying the present. When I came back it turned out that not only had she pocketed the money, she had also told everyone I had stolen it!

Not as bad as some of these but it was my first encounter with such brazen behaviour that it stayed with me!

Raffles1981 Thu 17-Oct-19 19:45:14

My ex husband and I caught our NDN, on camera, slashing our car tyres (the police were doing nothing about it, despite it happening once a week, sometimes more) we showed the police the tape, they said we couldn't use it as we had set up the camera but it was suggested we could take them to small claims court. So we started the ball rolling. The wife asked me to come over and talk. I did and she informed me she had cancer (she has a DS 8 months old) so we dropped it and agreed to let things be. She didn't have cancer, their hate campaign on us continued until we moved away. Nasty, awful woman.

Groovee Thu 17-Oct-19 19:20:08

Friend of 11 years. Had always kept her at arms length due to the way she treated people. But I had been unwell and let her in. There were a group of 7 of us who met up weekly. The owner of the cafe joined our group and we gave her lots of support through a difficult time.

Friend of 11 years was very besotted with the cafe owner and was desperate to be her bestie. She then introduced another woman that I was struggling to put my finger on. She was always buying the cafe owner and ex friend gifts.

One night this new woman actually dug her nails into my arm while we got a group photo. It actually shocked me. Then she started sending me messages telling me my group hated me.

One night cafe owner lost the rag. She contacted me to tell me everything. That the group knew I was being bullied and that she never wanted to see my ex friend or new woman ever again.

The cafe owner had really supported another woman who believed ex friend and the three of them left our group. The six of us still see each other all the time and go away. I just wish I had told someone sooner.

labazsisgoingmad Thu 17-Oct-19 19:08:52

my ex mil was the biggest bitch walking this earth. apart from just being generally spiteful and constantly inviting my exh to go on drinking binges with her which he loved as he was an alcoholic. he would just go for days on end leaving me with my dds and no money food etc. if it was not for my late parents we would have starved.
worse was when my dm was in hospital dying. just before dawn the one morning my bil came to tell me mum had died obviously i was upset and he put his arms around me and gave me a comforting hug. mil who was stopping with us at the time worse luck told my exh later that i was having an affair with bil and i couldnt keep my hands off him when he came to see me earlier.
later that day after a very upsetting time telling the children granny had died i was just so devastated and exmil started moaning she was hungry. when i apologised and said hadnt been thinking straight she said 'fuck the dead think of the living' . evil doesnt describe her. i was so upset she started having a tantrum a toddler would be proud of and insisted exh went for a drink with her. when exh was way over the limit he drove her home and i did not see him for 6 days as he went on a binge.
the other week i was on holiday with my dp. before anyone asks he is on the sex register for a very minor offence of voyeurism not involving adults or children all to do with an ex nothing on computers or camera but when complaint was made there was a photo of a bathroom on the camera so hence the charge very long and complicated but i know the facts.
anyway a year ago i helped set up a charity shop for a local animal charity and worked damned hard at it. 2 weeks ago we had a four night break on holiday and on last night after a lovely holiday we got a message from the charity boss saying not to come back to shop he had found out my partner was on the register. we pointed out that in a small town after 4 years everyone knows that and it is nearly spent anyway plus he did not employ him but me. turns out dp auntie had been going round the town ensuring all the shops knew about him why we do not know but the charity refuses to have me working for them now which has really upset me after all i did for them and how much i enjoyed it. the lady in there now has really brought the shop down and has many issues so i am waiting for it all to go wrong for him

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