Anyone got a popular child who sometimes struggles with it?

[BillHadersNewWife]

Bit of a weird problem to have I know...but it's a mild problem nonetheless.

DD2 is 11 and she's always been very popular. Socially skilled, she finds making friends very easy and is often in demand.

This has been the case since she was tiny. However, she's recently been finding it a bit much.

In previous years, Halloween has been a big deal to her and she;s enjoyed a variety of parties or trick or treating with friends.

This year, she's got so many friends who want to do different things with her that she's decided she wants to stay at home with me and have a movie night and sweets...to dress up for fun and answer the door to trick or treaters.

I feel a bit and have spoken to her about not feeling responsible for anyone else;s happiness...and that if she chooses to go out with one friend or group of friends, then that's HER choice.

But no...she's set on the idea of a night in.

Is it ok do you think? I told her that it's good to please yourself once in a while and that she should do what she wants.

She insists this is what she wants. I'm just a bit confused as she's always enjoyed the social aspect...she's not been scared of anything by the way...she's a true ghost fan...loves spooky stuff in general.

[georgialondon]

Honestly, this was me as a kid. It's fine. Just let her do what she'd prefer to do.

[BillHadersNewWife]

Georgia did you get pulled in different directions by your different friend groups? And then just give up? Tell me more.

[Spied]

She sounds like a sensible girl. She IS doing as she wishes and is spending time at home with her mum. Pleasing herself and not others. She sounds confident in herself.

[mbosnz]

I've got one who suddenly has more friends than she knows what to do with. Sometimes she'll just hole up from the world, and fair enough too.

[Kbeeb1992]

I think its fine, maybe shes sick of people fighting over her and just wants a night in with her mam. My dd has lots of different groups of friends too and sometimes they all want her at once and shes the kind of girl who cant be bothered with drama and would rather have a quiet night in too x

[Fantasisa]

My DD is a similar age and she is very popular and gets a lot of invitations to do things. She is a lovely, lovely girl who is kind and fun and gets on with everyone. The tricky thing for me is to manage our family time as she inevitably wants to do everything she is invited to and I also find reciprocal play hosting an issue.

Without sounding arrogant, with working full time I simply could not host all the children back who invite DD to parties/sleepovers etc which makes me feel guilty. If we have a window for a sleepover I ask DD who she wants, she chooses and that is it.

It can also impact on DS who doesn't receive any where near the same amount of invitations as he is often at a loose end while she is out so I do sometimes say no just to protect our family time.

Ours also love Halloween and we have recently moved to trick or treating with a couple of other families and seeing who tags along en-route. It is a minefield and it sounds like she wants to be at home to open the door to all the trick or treaters!