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Bridesmaid outgrown dress

(292 Posts)
Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:19:42

Wedding next month. 3 bridesmaIds. Dresses ordered a couple of months ago. Bridesmaid A has done really well at losing weight (3+ stone) and ordered a dress that only just fit. As she was doing so well losing the weight we didn't think anything of it. Dresses tried on yesterday and A has gained weight. Hers doesn't o on. Doesn't go over her hips (down or up) and doesn't zip.

They aren't matching dresses, more 'varition on a theme'. We've paid for the dresses, shoes, jewelry and will be paying for hair and makeup on the day. This is huge portion of a very small wedding budget. A is mortified but hasn't offered a solution. The way I see it:
A) she can drop out of bring a bridesmaid and I suck up the lost money
B) she can order a new dress and pay the extra for express service. This is only possible if done this week. We can't really afford it and would need her to at least pay for the dress.
C) she could buy an off the rack dress in appropriate colour/style. It'll be obvious it isn't the same as the other bridesmaid but as they aren't all matching won't look horrendous.

How do I approach this with her? Any other solutions?

TigerBreadAddict Mon 14-Oct-19 08:21:06

Can’t it be altered?

wowfudge Mon 14-Oct-19 08:21:55

Or you could be nice to your friend and go with her to a dressmaker and see whether some panels can be added to the dress so it can be altered to fit.

Or see if it can be replaced with a bigger size from the place you bought it.

wowfudge Mon 14-Oct-19 08:23:16

Or, order a new one in the right size using the express service and sell the too small one in ebay or Facebook, etc.

Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:23:29

That was longer than intended!

Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:24:16

TigerBreadAddict no. There isn't enough excess material.

tumbleisatwat Mon 14-Oct-19 08:26:48

What's more important to you? The friendship or pretty pictures?

If it's the first, you sort out a suitable dress somehow and flog the unused dress.

If it's the second, enjoy the fall out!

BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay Mon 14-Oct-19 08:27:03

You sound v unsympathetic OP.

Who decided to order the dress too small?

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding

Nishky Mon 14-Oct-19 08:28:27

What about adding panels as someone above suggested

Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:28:33

wowfudge it can't be altered (due to style). They are made to order only. They chose their own dresses, this isn't something I forced on them.

misspiggy19 Mon 14-Oct-19 08:28:44

If the bridesmaid ordered that size she should pay for any further alterations or buy a new dresss

OlderthenYoungerNow Mon 14-Oct-19 08:29:25

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding


Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:31:34

It's a very small (budget) wedding. No photographer, village hall reception.

She chose the dress - style, colour, size. All the bridesmaids did.

I'm not unsympathetic. I just want a solution. I have 3 weeks and no money.

flapjackfairy Mon 14-Oct-19 08:31:34

Has she time to lose the weight again ? If she ordered it herself or requested that size she should pay to replace it if not.

MarthasGinYard Mon 14-Oct-19 08:32:18

I don't believe you've even take the dress to any alteration specialists to get a quote yet, similar happened to my friend and they managed to have a piece put in and added a little chiffon sash thingy. Couldn't tell.

Cost about 40 quid from what I remembered.

tumbleisatwat Mon 14-Oct-19 08:32:46

You clearly spent too much if you now have no money.

This why we eloped!

Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:34:11

For reference, their dresses cost more than mine. This isn't about vanity, the day being ruined etc. It's about everyone feeling comfortable and enjoying themselves.

Triglesoffy Mon 14-Oct-19 08:34:13

Remember you BM a real person with real feelings, not just an accessory for your wedding

Bit harsh. What would you have the OP do? Leave the dress as it is so that it fakes at the back and humiliates the poor girl?

What does the bridesmaid want to do?

walkintheparc Mon 14-Oct-19 08:35:18

I can't understand having 3 bridesmaids and paying for all of their dresses, but no photographer?!!

sarahjconnor Mon 14-Oct-19 08:35:38

Talk to her, just ask ‘What do you think we should do about the dress?” And see what she suggests.....

Yeahthatthing Mon 14-Oct-19 08:36:02

MarthasGinYard the place we got them from is a seamstresses. They altered my dress. It's not a traditional bridesmaid dress.

MarthasGinYard Mon 14-Oct-19 08:36:21

Also paying for jewellery shoes dresses and make up and hair but nothing in the kitty for an alteration?

walkintheparc Mon 14-Oct-19 08:36:47

Ask her to buy another dress now, put the other one on eBay/depop and when it sells reimburse her whatever you got for it minus postage. That way she only pays the difference.
I don't have sympathy though, sorry, it's her fault!

ShirleyPhallus Mon 14-Oct-19 08:37:04

What does the bridesmaid want to do?

Honestly I’d leave it up to her to find a suitable replacement and pay for it herself. She knows the colour scheme and style, she can probably easily find something

Xiaoxiong Mon 14-Oct-19 08:37:51

Another option is she wears a dress she already has and feels comfortable wearing. Forget about your variations on a theme, if it's a tiny wedding with no photographer then it doesn't matter anyway. Everyone will know in a tiny wedding who your bridesmaids are even if they're not wearing matchy dresses.

What does she want to do?

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