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I'm in labour - should my partner go to work

(50 Posts)
meepmoop Thu 10-Oct-19 06:19:45

Hello,

I think I'm in early labour, having painful cramps 20minutes apart.

We're debating if DH should go to work or not. With my first I was in early labour for over 24 hours before I even went to hospital.

We want to have as much of the paternity with the baby as possible so if he goes in for a couple of hours it won't count as a full day taken.

He works 10minutes away from home by car. The birth centre is also 10minutes from his work and me.

I will be able to spend the morning with my mum so won't be alone and will have help with my 2 year old.

What would you do

princesstinnedpeach Thu 10-Oct-19 06:21:33

If he's ten minutes away I'd say he should definitely go, save the paternity leave. So exciting for you!

HoneysuckIejasmine Thu 10-Oct-19 06:21:55

As long as your Mum is able to drive you to hospital, and your partner doesn't mind potentially missing the birth, go for it.

notmytea Thu 10-Oct-19 06:23:22

I prefer to labour alone so would definitely send him in!

mathanxiety Thu 10-Oct-19 06:23:50

If your mum drives and you have someone else lined up to babysit DS if things speed up suddenly, then he should be fine getting a few hours in to count for a day of work. Otherwise, I think he should stay home. It's just one less day of paternity leave.

You shouldn't count on your previous experience of labour being repeated.

OhioOhioOhio Thu 10-Oct-19 06:26:39

My first 18 hours
My second 2 hours.
My third 13 minutes.

I'd say stay at home.

user1493413286 Thu 10-Oct-19 06:29:06

If he’s ten minutes away and can literally drop everything to leave then I’d send him in.

Mrscog Thu 10-Oct-19 06:34:02

I think I’d send him in - but do be aware 2nd labours can ramp up fast! I went from slightly painful cramps at 11pm to holding DS2 at 3.30am...and there are faster stories out there!

CupoTeap Thu 10-Oct-19 06:35:14

Send him, as long as you can contact him and he can leave immediately

Ostanovka Thu 10-Oct-19 06:41:11

If labour speeds up quickly, you might not have time to phone him, nor your mum if she's driving you. Second births can be very quick!

Yestermo Thu 10-Oct-19 06:43:31

Make sure his boss knows so he can literally run out the door.

Beautiful3 Thu 10-Oct-19 06:44:11

I would have him at home. Second one goes faster.

twirlypoo Thu 10-Oct-19 06:48:16

For the sake of a day, I wouldn’t send him in - my first Labour (which to be fair was unusual) I got in the car to be checked out as I’d had cramps and a bleed, got out the car at 10cm needing to push. And I’m only 30 mins from hospital!

Good luck and enjoy your baby snuggles soon!

RachelEllenR Thu 10-Oct-19 06:52:11

As it's only 10 mins away I'd send him to work until contractions closer together.

Starlight456 Thu 10-Oct-19 06:53:25

I would based on can he come home / immediately contactable . Not stuck in a meeting or need cover before he can leave.

Good luck btw

DonPablo Thu 10-Oct-19 06:54:33

I think paternity leave starts today, why add the stress of him potentially missing it, when you could have a couple of chilled hours together now?

Exciting time!

Smashtastick Thu 10-Oct-19 06:59:30

Personally I'd send him in. Especially as you have your mum to care for DC1. Not all second labours are faster! Mine were both roughly the same.

Hesafriendfromwork Thu 10-Oct-19 07:01:54

I think paternity leave starts today, why add the stress of him potentially missing it, when you could have a couple of chilled hours together now?

Not if it stops.

OP with my second this happened to me a few times before actual labour. Once they were 12 mins apart then stopped.

Will he get paid if that happens?

Personally I would send him in. But it's about what you feel comfortable with.

HalyardHitch Thu 10-Oct-19 07:02:31

You literally have to think about how you feel. Do YOU WANT him there? That's your answer

hormonesorDHbeingadick Thu 10-Oct-19 07:04:09

It’s unlikely that he will manage a full day at work before you need him so his paternity leave will start today so there is no point in him going in.

baubled Thu 10-Oct-19 07:10:41

I would send him in and if the contractions get to ten mins apart call him to come home

meepmoop Thu 10-Oct-19 07:32:51

Thanks everyone, he's gone into work.
My contractions seem to have slowed right down and are much less painful now so seems silly for him to be here as I'm functioning and have previously had bouts of cramps that stopped.

He doesn't need to wait for cover at work so can just leave.

NewLevelsOfTiredness Thu 10-Oct-19 08:03:24

When I saw the thread title I thought "No way!" but after reading the details it seems the sensible thing to do.

I hope the birth is easy and you enjoy the time together afterwards smile

kittlesticks Thu 10-Oct-19 08:04:02

Was going to say if they are speeding up and slowing down and not giving you a reliable time frame between then it's probably a false start, I had about 5 false starts with DD2, my DH was thoroughly unconvinced when I woke him up at 4am to say I thought it was the real thing (it was). I was having contractions 3 mins apart by 7.30am and went into hospital for about 8.30, Admitted to delivery room at 9.30 and DD arrived at 11.30. In general second labour is meant to be quicker. My son took 4 days!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Thu 10-Oct-19 08:06:08

10mins away then yeah send him in. Expect a shorter labour though. First was 24h for me, second was 4h from first contraction to delivery.

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