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Isn’t it odd how people suddenly develop “concerns about being identified in real life”...

(20 Posts)
flowery Wed 09-Oct-19 18:15:47

...when they don’t like the responses/advice they’re getting?

Yes this is prompted by a specific thread I was advising on that has vanished for aforementioned reasons, but it is a general point. Seems to happen quite a lot, and it’s annoying!

Ohnoherewego62 Wed 09-Oct-19 18:18:19

I'd love to know the criteria for posts to get deleted now that you mention it.

flowery Wed 09-Oct-19 18:37:19

My understanding is it’s when the OP has reason to believe they might be outed, or not just at the request of OPs who don’t like how their thread is going.

Which is fair enough, but it just seems to me that there seems to be a tendency for OPs who were previously totally fine with the information they were revealing to suddenly be all concerned at the point the advice they were getting wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

I just think MNHQ ought to maybe be a bit more hesitant deleting threads if it is clear by looking at it that the OP isn’t liking the responses...

MonChatEstMagnifique Wed 09-Oct-19 18:45:52

I know what you mean but if the OP wants it removed I don't see any value in leaving it on here. Often, once the OP shows that they are annoyed at the answers, everyone jumps on getting quite nasty towards the OP and takes the piss. It may be entertaining for some but that's about it.

flowery Wed 09-Oct-19 18:52:39

Well if it’s a thread asking for advice, the value in leaving it on is that plenty of other people may read it and benefit.

I agree that if it turns into a pile-on or anything, it should be deleted, totally agree.

MonChatEstMagnifique Wed 09-Oct-19 19:09:17

I just don't understand why some people bother posting if they are so confident that they are right. If I think I'm right I don't ask others opinions.

flowery Wed 09-Oct-19 19:11:48

Looking for validation! Or deep down wondering if perhaps they might actually not be right!

lyralalala Thu 10-Oct-19 08:30:49

I'd love to know the criteria for posts to get deleted now that you mention it

I would as well

I was recognised on a thread recently and it took me 7 hours and 4 messages before MN even properly looked at the thread and agreed to delete it. Previous to that they just said they didn’t delete whole threads as the advise could help other people (very unlikely people would have the exact same family scenario I had) and then they wouldn’t delete until I’d posted to say I’d asked for it, which I’ve never seen before.

Seems to depend on what the hq person in charge that day thinks of you

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 08:33:34

Urgh. Of course it’s not odd- you know exactly why they get it deleted. Enough with your coy titles.

flowery Thu 10-Oct-19 08:57:48

”Of course it’s not odd- you know exactly why they get it deleted.”

Um. Well yes, that was my entire point. It’s blatantly obvious in many cases that people just have the hump that the thread isn’t going as they wanted it to, so they suddenly pretend to have concerns about being outed so they can get the thread deleted.

It’s irritating for everyone who has bothered to post advice, that’s all. And I think MNHQ ought to be firmer (or perhaps more consistent) in how they deal with it.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 09:04:40

And I think MNHQ ought to be firmer (or perhaps more consistent) in how they deal with it.

So send them an email. They won’t see this thread.

flowery Thu 10-Oct-19 09:22:31

I know. I’m just having a little vent, that’s all. If you don’t think I should have started a thread about it there’s no requirement for you to contribute, feel free to ignore.

Maybe I should get it deleted... grin

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 09:27:13

I don’t object to your thread (and never said I did) it’s your disingenuous title that irritates.

flowery Thu 10-Oct-19 09:43:10

Scroll on by then!

Good grief.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 09:47:14

Yawn. Public forum. You invite comment when you post. Not just comment you like.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 09:48:10

Have you sent that email? grin

KurriKurri Thu 10-Oct-19 10:02:57

I think you;ve slightly missed the point of OP's title Joxer - she is making the point that the 'concerns about being identified in real life' is totally disingenuous - that's why she's got it in inverted commas. She's not being coy at all, she saying the deletion messages are coy.

Anyhoo - OP I also find the deletions irritating especially when I have spent time giving advice (or even more annoying if I've posted something incredibly witty and clever gringrin)
But I've also been in the position of having to have a thread deleted because a real life person (my XH) had unknown to me found out my user name and sent me a very threatening e mail telling me to take the thread down, and at the time I was very vulnerable and scared of him so I asked MNHQ to delete. Which they did but they asked me to post on it before they did explaining why I'd asked for deletion.
I was sad to lose the advice and support I got on that thread and thought it would have been helpful to others as well - but as I say i felt threatened.

But that is a bit different form the increasingly frequent deletions that happen now - I don't think you should be able to delete for 'I don't like the answers I'm getting'. It never used to be allowed (in the good old days). I do think the answers in AIBU have become more vicious though - some people seem to come on just to shout abuse or be contrary - but delete their posts rather than the whole thread.

flowery Thu 10-Oct-19 11:01:46

” Yawn. Public forum. You invite comment when you post. Not just comment you like.”

Comment all you like, I’m just bemused. Seems odd, if you don’t like the title and think I should have emailed instead, to have bothered commenting! Do you have any views on the actual point I was making?!

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Thu 10-Oct-19 12:57:04

So what was HQs response to your email?

flowery Thu 10-Oct-19 19:59:45

What makes you think I sent them an email?

I take it you don’t have any thoughts on my actual point.

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