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a daughter really big for her age

(236 Posts)
HAPPYMOM363 Wed 09-Oct-19 12:22:53

She is only 11 and 176cm and 84kg. I am only 155cm and 45kg. It looks really oddsmile She plays basketball and netball and does really well.

It's impossible to find age appropriate cloths.

She used to hate being this big but now she loves it. Would she stop growing or grow up a few more inches??grin

Damntheman Wed 09-Oct-19 13:50:38

I'm glad she loves being a tall girl! Make sure she doesn't start slouching to try to look smaller, a tall girl with beautiful posture is powerful AF.

Look at Long Tall Sally for clothes and , although I'm sure there are more options now than when my sisters and I were teens. She might stop growing now, I did all my growing in the summer I turned 13 and then just stopped (BAM!), or she might slow up and grow a few more centimeters. looks pretty good too.

KindergartenKop Wed 09-Oct-19 15:50:18

I've seen girls like this and by the end of secondary school, while they are still tallish, they don't stand out so much once the other girls grow and then the boys shoot up at 13/14.

HAPPYMOM363 Thu 10-Oct-19 05:57:21

age appropriate clothing is the real problem. She looks weird in adult cloths. And they are also inappropriate for her built.

And she also wants to continue dancing but BAMconfused how can she continue dancing being this big.

WindsweptEgret Thu 10-Oct-19 06:10:09

Is she seeing anyone about her weight/BMI? There would be different types of dancing she could do where size doesn't matter, I don't think that's really a problem. I'd want to get on top of the weight issue for health reasons though.

TheCatInAHat Thu 10-Oct-19 06:16:55

That seems really quite heavy even for a taller girl. Is her diet sensible? Great that she has good self esteem though. I would be inclined to make adjustments to the family diet if necessary without mentioning a word to anyone about her weight (especially not her).

TheCatInAHat Thu 10-Oct-19 06:17:46

She should definitely continue dancing if she enjoys it- street dance could be a good option.

MustardScreams Thu 10-Oct-19 06:19:09

Op is 84kg a typo? Because that is over 13 stone, and no matter how tall they are, no 11 year old should weigh that.

Have you been in touch with your gp regarding this? Obesity is as bad as smoking in regards to cancer risks.

Littlefish Thu 10-Oct-19 06:25:06

I've just had a look the NHS BMI calculator, and with the measurements you've given, she's coming up as being "very overweight". Regardless of her good level of fitness or amount of ppmpt she does, this is something that it would be good for you to explore further with the GP.

From a clothes point of view, Top Shop do a taller range, I think.

Littlefish Thu 10-Oct-19 06:25:59

amount of sport pgd does

Ozgirl75 Thu 10-Oct-19 06:26:45

176 isn’t especially tall for an 11 year old who has started puberty is it? About 5ft 9 or so? Is her dad quite tall? I was my adult height by about 13 or so, others just shot up later.

But 84kg is on the large size. Was that a typo because 84kg at 176 surely would be very overweight. But it’s not too hard to lose it if you’re an active teen. Better to focus on it now than when she’s an adult and it’s much harder to lose.

Bouffalant Thu 10-Oct-19 06:44:44

What is her diet like? That is very heavy for her height and age.

I'd focus more on changing diet at home than exercise in the first instance. Even for 5ft 10 or so that is really quite overweight.

Ullupullu Thu 10-Oct-19 06:50:10

What is her build OP? She doesn't sound a healthy weight.

HAPPYMOM363 Thu 10-Oct-19 06:55:27

There is no typo. She is 84kg. I talked with her basketball and netball coaches and they said that she is absolutely fit, fast and the best in her school teamshock. They even said that she is faster than girls half her sizeshock.I knew she has actually a high fitness level but this was beyond my imagination. But, I am also worried. Would I call her to lose weight because I can't decide after hearing the coaches.

cocomelon23 Thu 10-Oct-19 07:04:03

That's huge. I can't believe her coaches were saying that's ok shock

LittleMissEngineer Thu 10-Oct-19 07:04:09

The weight doesn’t sound right - even fir an athlete at 11. Even if they “bulk out” with muscle (and hence are heavier), it doesn’t tend to be until older (very sporty 11 year olds tend to be lean). Is she an elite player doing lots of strength and conditioning or are you referring to school coaches?

What are her measurements (waist, hip and chest?)? What is her diet like?

TheCatInAHat Thu 10-Oct-19 07:04:41

Just to be clear, at 11 it’s not your daughters responsibility to ensure she eats a sensible balanced diet and maintains a healthy size- it’s yours, so absolutely don’t tell her to lose weight, sort it out yourself with sensitivity and discretion.

Damntheman Thu 10-Oct-19 07:04:54

Muscle can weigh a bit if you're fit and strong, I'd have a quiet word with her GP before setting in about her weight, people are different and what's 'overweight' on a general scale for one person might not be for another.

Why shouldn't she continue to dance when she's that tall?

slipperywhensparticus Thu 10-Oct-19 07:08:58

I think drs to get things double checked

HAPPYMOM363 Thu 10-Oct-19 07:09:12

She actually does a lot of sports. And her dad is not also quite tall. He is average at 178cm.

She eats quite a lot and eats foods that are high in protein.

Rotanicani Thu 10-Oct-19 07:14:44

I’m the same height, fit and look a tad overweight at 10kg less. Does she carry weight around her middle? Is she bulky on the upper arms etc?

I’d worry a bit about weight, she’s very young. What’s her diet like? How fast is weight gain?

WaterSheep Thu 10-Oct-19 07:14:59

I can't believe her coaches were saying that's ok

It sounds like the coaches are more concerned with her ability than her health. Nonsense talk about being the best on the team would worry me, as it sounds like it was said to reassure your concerns.

FuriousVexation Thu 10-Oct-19 07:18:14

I was always the tallest in my class in primary, then I just basically stopped growing at around 13. I'm now a slightly below average 5'5, although I'm still the tallest person in my extended family!

If her fitness levels are good then I wouldn't put any focus on her weight unless you're worried she's not eating a healthy diet. BMI was not created to measure individuals and takes no account of fitness levels. It's a very blunt tool. It can point to possible issues but is not a diagnostic tool.

If the leader of her dance class is so unimaginative that they can't move past "she's too tall" then I'd look for a different class for her.

Velveteenfruitbowl Thu 10-Oct-19 07:24:27

Have you taken her to see a doctor? I don’t want to alarm you but the early height combined with being overweight would make me inclined to just double check. In terms of clothes a lot of shops do tall ranges now and adult clothes from Joules will probably be just long enough (most of them are ok on me, I’m her height) and will still look ‘childish’ iyswim. Crew clothing co, fat face and white stuff also sell stuff which would be appropriate for kids.

Frouby Thu 10-Oct-19 07:26:14

I am 5ft 5in and weigh 13 stone OP. I am fit and strong and healthy. I can kayak for an hour, I do around 12k steps a day without breaking into a sweat, I work on my allotment at least once a week and we have 2 ponies, 1 of which I have just broken in by myself, including getting on (which is a good sign of fitness imo) without any help.

At 5ft 9 she is probably a size 12/14. Shops like H and M, Topshop, New Look should have appropriate clothes for her. Dd has been wearing size 8s since she was 12/13 when most of the children's ranges finished. She's now 15 and wears a lot of Jack Willis stuff, and likes shopping in Hollister etc. Clothes shouldn't be a problem for your dd. My dd is very conservative, doesn't wear tight or revealing clothes and I don't know why you can't find appropriate clothing.

With regards to her health and fitness I would listen to her sports coaches over people who haven't seen her on mn, where anyone over a size 8 is classed as a bit porky. Don't damage her self esteem or her amazing confidence by saying she shouldn't do dance because she's too tall, or she should go on a diet. Feed her healthy food, not diet food, healthy food. Has her periods started yet? Dd filled out a bit before she started then dropped down again once she was in a regular cycle.

Don't compare her to anyone else. She sounds amazing. Don't knock her confidence, she will need it for the teenage years. Support her in whatever she wants to do sports wise and take her shopping for new clothes to trendy teenage approved places. At her height it shouldn't be difficult, teenagers are taller these days and lots of places do a taller option now. 5ft 9in is tall but not massively so in adult sizes.

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