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How much physical affection do you and your DP show each other?

(54 Posts)
BigbreastsBiggerbeard Tue 08-Oct-19 20:21:28

Are you hand holders? Huggers? Do you like to sit with your legs touching whilst sitting watching TV? And how important is physical affection to you?

We're all individuals, I know, and all have different needs, so I guess it's really curiosity. This has been at the forefront of my mind lately, so guess I'm hoping to find I'm 'normal'! Yeah, yeah, I know, there's no normal....

Would love to hear how important it is to others smile

Zaphodsotherhead Thu 10-Oct-19 11:49:48

I'm very tactile. Love holding hands, snuggling on the sofa etc.

XP would kiss at lips' edge, and that was all. If he could have shagged me from the other side of the room, he would have. Now I snuggle with my dog and kiss her ears and wonder at people who don't feel the need to touch or be touched.

BarbedBloom Thu 10-Oct-19 11:20:12

Together 5 years. Very affectionate. Always hold hands when out. Kiss hello and goodbye. Cuddle up on the sofa and often randomly hug or kiss each other when we are home. I couldn't date someone who wasn't tactile as it is important to me

HandbagCrazy Thu 10-Oct-19 08:15:14

Together 17 years, married 7.

I think we're quite affectionate, initiated 50/50 by each of us. Cuddle every morning before we get up, often hold hands in public, have a nice cuddle most evenings on the sofa, usually me leaning on him and him with his arm around me (only for half an hour).
We tend to cuddle in bed while watching tv / reading then turn away from each other when we actually want to sleep.

I think it's an important distinction between being housemates or friends with benefits and wouldn't be comfortable if it was only me who initiated affection.

MegaClutterSlut Thu 10-Oct-19 07:35:29

We do quite a bit of affection really. Been with dh 20yrs.

We always kiss each other hello/goodbye
Kiss and hug each other in passing
Tell each other several times a day, I love you
Cuddle on the sofa in the evening
Hold hands
Before we go to sleep in bed with have a kiss and cuddle

PickAChew Wed 09-Oct-19 23:57:58

@BigbreastsBiggerbeard there are times when i would like a spontaneous hug.

We do kiss goodbye and goodnight.

Platina Wed 09-Oct-19 12:51:06

Married 30 years, together 32 years

Hold hands when out
Kisses when saying goodbye and when coming home and last thing at night
Every night as I fall asleep he strokes my back, its lovely

caperplips Wed 09-Oct-19 12:49:12

We're very affectionate with each other. We hold hands walking around mostly.
We kiss several times a day, always on leaving, not always on meeting - depends on where we are. We hug LOTS during the day and tell each other I love you lots, at least once a day, sometimes more. We are affectionate in texts too and very often mildly flirtatious.
Every night in bed he rubs my back, or legs, or hip or bum. Not sexual (well sometimes!) but mostly comforting and helps me to sleep well.
I rub his hair / head in the morning when the first snooze alarm goes off.
He holds my knee a lot in the car when we're driving.
We don't always sit together in the evenings but when we do I sit with my legs on him and he rubs them and my feet.
I had never really thought about it much before but I guess we touch each other a lot really. We are both in our 40's and together 20 years, married 16. We have always been like this.

mildshock Wed 09-Oct-19 12:39:35

Hold hands in public sometimes. I'm really not into PDAs, so no more than that.

Hold hands or heads/feet on laps on the sofa.
Kiss and hug at home when saying hello/goodbye.
Often kiss for no reason in the kitchen when the kids are somewhere else in the house.

We spoon in bed before going to sleep facing away from each other but touching legs/feet because he's a human radiator grin

Physical affection is so important to both of us, and it's rubbing off on our kids. They're both huggers, and always want a kiss and hug hello/goodbye/goodnight. Our oldest loves morning cuddles in our laps while he's still half asleep.

Been together 9.5 years.

HotChocolateLover Wed 09-Oct-19 12:34:38

Hold hands whenever we’re out. Snuggle on the sofa usually. Do spoons in bed until it’s time to sleep as can’t sleep like that. Lots of kisses throughout the day 😘

BigbreastsBiggerbeard Wed 09-Oct-19 11:57:23

It's reassuring to hear of couples who've been together for years and are still physically affectionate. That's one of the things that was worrying me, if he isn't particularly bothered about being tactile at an early stage, it's probably not going to improve with time. So I've been working on explaining why holding hands and whatnot is important. He doesn't mind, just not used to it!

CakeNinja Wed 09-Oct-19 00:53:12

Not a huge amount.
We aren’t tactile people although both of us kiss and hug the dc frequently.
Neither of us are into holding hands when we’re out. I hate the sounds of the tv so when he’s in one room watching it I’ll be in another doing something else, nowhere near the sofa!
Kiss goodbye, usually hello too.
Cuddle in bed sometimes but neither of us could stand touching each other in our sleep.

BigbreastsBiggerbeard Tue 08-Oct-19 22:34:07

Love that flinging of the legs across the partner when both occupying the sofa. And possibly prodding them with your toes when you want their attention.

soggypizza Tue 08-Oct-19 22:24:49

Lots - been together for 20 years - always cuddle on the sofa while watching tv, kiss hello and goodbye and hold hands sometimes, hold knees in the car, random hugs and a wee bit of slow-dancing...

Ninkaninus Tue 08-Oct-19 22:17:00

Oh and we’ve been together 11 years.

Ninkaninus Tue 08-Oct-19 22:15:50

We’re not glued to each other 24/7, we do like our own space too. We usually sit on either side of the sofa for a couple of hours in the evening, reading, playing games or doing our respective things. Then if we decide to actually watch something together I’ll move over to his side, fix the cushions to make it comfy and then snuggle down for proper cosiness.

Sometimes we sleep snuggled up all through the night (not so much in the summer because it’s just too hot and sticky), but usually I’ll rest my head on his chest until I’m very sleepy, then I’ll move over and sleep on my side with my back to him. Sometimes he’ll spoon me in the night and other times we’ll just hold hands. I don’t sleep well and also often suffer with anxiety and panic in the night so being able to reach out and feel him and have him react to that by snuggling up to me is really nice.

Scratchyfluffface Tue 08-Oct-19 22:13:14

DH and I have been together almost 9 years, we are not hand holders and we sleep facing away from each other, but we always have a kiss or a cuddle through the day.

5 years for us and this pretty much exactly describes us - we may touch feet in bed occasionally (which proves I love him as I HATE feet 😂) but that's it, and we have a large sofa

trevthecat Tue 08-Oct-19 21:48:43

Together 5 years, we kiss hello, goodbye, randomly. Same with hugs. We sit together on sofa, usually my legs on him. Sleep usually facing away, both like our own space in bed. We're both quite touchy, will walk past the other and stroke arm, squeeze bum etc. Occasionally hold hands in public, usually got pram or kid though!!

particularsrequired Tue 08-Oct-19 21:28:07

Always kiss each other hello and goodbye. The odd hug every day, often initiated by DH. We might hold hands a bit when out, but not systematically. We have a corner sofa, and if we're watching TV we sit together with our legs touching, but if we're reading we'll sit separately. If we go to bed at the same time we have a big cuddle before pulling apart to go to sleep. We've been together 8 years; I'm 47, and he's 51.

shiningstar2 Tue 08-Oct-19 21:15:28

Been married 45 years. He puts my arm through his or holds my hand when walking through town. Always kiss goodbye when one or other leaves the house but like our comfort now and sit with feet up on separate sofas in the house grin

Leftielefterson Tue 08-Oct-19 21:03:38

DP and I are both very tactile. I love the intimacy of physical affection. We actually bought a corner sofa so we could get cosy side by side. We mostly hold hands when we’re out and we are very kissy.

When we see one another we kiss and hug. Lots of cwtching in bed too.

Everyone is different though.

StCharlotte Tue 08-Oct-19 20:59:59

Kiss hello and goodbye. Occasional hugs during the day (more so now the dog's gone). He always cuddles me in bed smile Married 20 years.

DramaAlpaca Tue 08-Oct-19 20:57:18

Married almost 30 years. Neither of us are very tactile & we aren't from demonstrative families. We hold hands sometimes & we hug, but we aren't draped over each other all the time. I couldn't bear being with someone who was touchy feely, it would really annoy me. We love each other & are very secure together, we just don't need to be in each other's space all the time.

C0untDucku1a Tue 08-Oct-19 20:56:40

Been married 11 years. Dh isnt affectionate at all. Winds me up no end. But he does make me
A cup of tea in bed every morning.

Pyjamaface Tue 08-Oct-19 20:51:44

Been together 11 years

Not a lot really, we occasionally kiss goodbye but no hand holding, rarely say I love you, he has his end of the sofa and I have mine and I have before considered smothering him with a pillow when he has been breathing on me in his sleep, so god knows what I would do if he tried to actually touch me when I was trying to sleep.

We show our affection by insults, taking the piss and generally acting like 5 year olds grin

ChinChinPassMeTheGin Tue 08-Oct-19 20:50:44

I crave intimacy, he doesn’t. Hates kissing “every 5 minutes”. Right now I’m in bed, he’s downstairs.

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