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How much physical affection do you and your DP show each other?

(54 Posts)
BigbreastsBiggerbeard Tue 08-Oct-19 20:21:28

Are you hand holders? Huggers? Do you like to sit with your legs touching whilst sitting watching TV? And how important is physical affection to you?

We're all individuals, I know, and all have different needs, so I guess it's really curiosity. This has been at the forefront of my mind lately, so guess I'm hoping to find I'm 'normal'! Yeah, yeah, I know, there's no normal....

Would love to hear how important it is to others smile

expatinspain Tue 08-Oct-19 20:46:33

Less public affection than at the beginning. We always held hands or had our arms round each other, now we do that sometimes rather than frequently. At home I usually have my legs on him if we're watching tv or sometimes he lies down with his head on my lap. I'm not a hugger when sleeping, DP does try but usually gets pushed off. We do sleep touching though, usually bum to bum or bum to leg. We have a cuddle before going to sleep most nights. We don't kiss each other goodnight, or goodbye either, unless we're going on a trip or something.

SimonJT Tue 08-Oct-19 20:46:48

I’m very hands on, if my boyfriend wasn’t hands on I wouldn’t like it, I would also be worried if I was annoying him by always touching, hugging etc.

Bouffalant Tue 08-Oct-19 20:48:10

We're both quite cuddly, though in bed we both like our space we always have our feet touching even if we have a gap between us.

DP is a bit of a childish pain at times, hugs descend into tickles/blowing raspberries on my neck/biting my nose.

9 years.

fantasmasgoria1 Tue 08-Oct-19 20:48:38

We cuddle each other an awful lot. When it's hot we just hold hands in bed but when it's cold we cuddle up. We hold hands when we are out and we cuddle. When my fiance get in from work we have a long cuddle and kiss. Basically we are very soppy and cuddle and kiss each other an awful lot!

ChinChinPassMeTheGin Tue 08-Oct-19 20:50:44

I crave intimacy, he doesn’t. Hates kissing “every 5 minutes”. Right now I’m in bed, he’s downstairs.

Pyjamaface Tue 08-Oct-19 20:51:44

Been together 11 years

Not a lot really, we occasionally kiss goodbye but no hand holding, rarely say I love you, he has his end of the sofa and I have mine and I have before considered smothering him with a pillow when he has been breathing on me in his sleep, so god knows what I would do if he tried to actually touch me when I was trying to sleep.

We show our affection by insults, taking the piss and generally acting like 5 year olds grin

C0untDucku1a Tue 08-Oct-19 20:56:40

Been married 11 years. Dh isnt affectionate at all. Winds me up no end. But he does make me
A cup of tea in bed every morning.

DramaAlpaca Tue 08-Oct-19 20:57:18

Married almost 30 years. Neither of us are very tactile & we aren't from demonstrative families. We hold hands sometimes & we hug, but we aren't draped over each other all the time. I couldn't bear being with someone who was touchy feely, it would really annoy me. We love each other & are very secure together, we just don't need to be in each other's space all the time.

StCharlotte Tue 08-Oct-19 20:59:59

Kiss hello and goodbye. Occasional hugs during the day (more so now the dog's gone). He always cuddles me in bed smile Married 20 years.

Leftielefterson Tue 08-Oct-19 21:03:38

DP and I are both very tactile. I love the intimacy of physical affection. We actually bought a corner sofa so we could get cosy side by side. We mostly hold hands when we’re out and we are very kissy.

When we see one another we kiss and hug. Lots of cwtching in bed too.

Everyone is different though.

shiningstar2 Tue 08-Oct-19 21:15:28

Been married 45 years. He puts my arm through his or holds my hand when walking through town. Always kiss goodbye when one or other leaves the house but like our comfort now and sit with feet up on separate sofas in the house grin

particularsrequired Tue 08-Oct-19 21:28:07

Always kiss each other hello and goodbye. The odd hug every day, often initiated by DH. We might hold hands a bit when out, but not systematically. We have a corner sofa, and if we're watching TV we sit together with our legs touching, but if we're reading we'll sit separately. If we go to bed at the same time we have a big cuddle before pulling apart to go to sleep. We've been together 8 years; I'm 47, and he's 51.

trevthecat Tue 08-Oct-19 21:48:43

Together 5 years, we kiss hello, goodbye, randomly. Same with hugs. We sit together on sofa, usually my legs on him. Sleep usually facing away, both like our own space in bed. We're both quite touchy, will walk past the other and stroke arm, squeeze bum etc. Occasionally hold hands in public, usually got pram or kid though!!

Scratchyfluffface Tue 08-Oct-19 22:13:14

DH and I have been together almost 9 years, we are not hand holders and we sleep facing away from each other, but we always have a kiss or a cuddle through the day.

5 years for us and this pretty much exactly describes us - we may touch feet in bed occasionally (which proves I love him as I HATE feet 😂) but that's it, and we have a large sofa

Ninkaninus Tue 08-Oct-19 22:15:50

We’re not glued to each other 24/7, we do like our own space too. We usually sit on either side of the sofa for a couple of hours in the evening, reading, playing games or doing our respective things. Then if we decide to actually watch something together I’ll move over to his side, fix the cushions to make it comfy and then snuggle down for proper cosiness.

Sometimes we sleep snuggled up all through the night (not so much in the summer because it’s just too hot and sticky), but usually I’ll rest my head on his chest until I’m very sleepy, then I’ll move over and sleep on my side with my back to him. Sometimes he’ll spoon me in the night and other times we’ll just hold hands. I don’t sleep well and also often suffer with anxiety and panic in the night so being able to reach out and feel him and have him react to that by snuggling up to me is really nice.

Ninkaninus Tue 08-Oct-19 22:17:00

Oh and we’ve been together 11 years.

soggypizza Tue 08-Oct-19 22:24:49

Lots - been together for 20 years - always cuddle on the sofa while watching tv, kiss hello and goodbye and hold hands sometimes, hold knees in the car, random hugs and a wee bit of slow-dancing...

BigbreastsBiggerbeard Tue 08-Oct-19 22:34:07

Love that flinging of the legs across the partner when both occupying the sofa. And possibly prodding them with your toes when you want their attention.

CakeNinja Wed 09-Oct-19 00:53:12

Not a huge amount.
We aren’t tactile people although both of us kiss and hug the dc frequently.
Neither of us are into holding hands when we’re out. I hate the sounds of the tv so when he’s in one room watching it I’ll be in another doing something else, nowhere near the sofa!
Kiss goodbye, usually hello too.
Cuddle in bed sometimes but neither of us could stand touching each other in our sleep.

BigbreastsBiggerbeard Wed 09-Oct-19 11:57:23

It's reassuring to hear of couples who've been together for years and are still physically affectionate. That's one of the things that was worrying me, if he isn't particularly bothered about being tactile at an early stage, it's probably not going to improve with time. So I've been working on explaining why holding hands and whatnot is important. He doesn't mind, just not used to it!

HotChocolateLover Wed 09-Oct-19 12:34:38

Hold hands whenever we’re out. Snuggle on the sofa usually. Do spoons in bed until it’s time to sleep as can’t sleep like that. Lots of kisses throughout the day 😘

mildshock Wed 09-Oct-19 12:39:35

Hold hands in public sometimes. I'm really not into PDAs, so no more than that.

Hold hands or heads/feet on laps on the sofa.
Kiss and hug at home when saying hello/goodbye.
Often kiss for no reason in the kitchen when the kids are somewhere else in the house.

We spoon in bed before going to sleep facing away from each other but touching legs/feet because he's a human radiator grin

Physical affection is so important to both of us, and it's rubbing off on our kids. They're both huggers, and always want a kiss and hug hello/goodbye/goodnight. Our oldest loves morning cuddles in our laps while he's still half asleep.

Been together 9.5 years.

caperplips Wed 09-Oct-19 12:49:12

We're very affectionate with each other. We hold hands walking around mostly.
We kiss several times a day, always on leaving, not always on meeting - depends on where we are. We hug LOTS during the day and tell each other I love you lots, at least once a day, sometimes more. We are affectionate in texts too and very often mildly flirtatious.
Every night in bed he rubs my back, or legs, or hip or bum. Not sexual (well sometimes!) but mostly comforting and helps me to sleep well.
I rub his hair / head in the morning when the first snooze alarm goes off.
He holds my knee a lot in the car when we're driving.
We don't always sit together in the evenings but when we do I sit with my legs on him and he rubs them and my feet.
I had never really thought about it much before but I guess we touch each other a lot really. We are both in our 40's and together 20 years, married 16. We have always been like this.

Platina Wed 09-Oct-19 12:51:06

Married 30 years, together 32 years

Hold hands when out
Kisses when saying goodbye and when coming home and last thing at night
Every night as I fall asleep he strokes my back, its lovely

PickAChew Wed 09-Oct-19 23:57:58

@BigbreastsBiggerbeard there are times when i would like a spontaneous hug.

We do kiss goodbye and goodnight.

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