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If you work FT with children, please share your daily schedule...

(127 Posts)
mommathatwearspink Tue 08-Oct-19 18:44:54

If you work FT with children, please could you share your daily routine with me please?

I have just accepted a full time position (previously 5 days but around school drop off / pick up so classes as PT). The role is the step up I have been waiting for and a fantastic opportunity but I’m starting to worry how we will fit it all in. To make things worse, DP jokingly made a comment about how he thinks i haven’t made the right decision. My argument is that I want a career too and shouldn’t hold back just to make family life generally easier.

I have one DS who goes to nursery and DD who is in school. DD will go to breakfast and after school club. DP is unable to collect due to it being a works vehicle so I will still have to collect on the way home. We’ll probably arrive home around 5:45pm.

MrsPear Tue 08-Oct-19 18:49:47

Is your partner the child’s father? Then he should be stepping up.

If not he should still start taking on housework.

Sit down and work out a plan on how you are going to tackle it together.

Unfortunately op by his comment I think you have a big problem and an extra grown up child.

FoodWoes Tue 08-Oct-19 18:52:56

Breakfast and afternoon club? How old is she? She's going to be so tired sad

I'm not criticising you, but couldn't you and him work out the hours so one of you could be there after school? Seems like an incredibly long day.

How old is she? And DS?
Will DS be in nursery the same hours?

CanICelebrate Tue 08-Oct-19 18:55:31

Get up at 5.30.
Younger dc get up at 6 ish.
DH leaves at 6.15.
6.30 I wake teenagers up.
All eat / get ready (everything packed and prepared the night before).
We leave between 7.30 and 7.45.
Drop younger dc at breakfast club.
Drive to the school for 7.50/8 where I teach and older dc attend.
Dh picks up younger dc at 5.
Leave school at 5/5.30 with older dc and take them home. (They’ve then done their homework in school).
Am lucky that both schools are within 25 minutes of my house.
Am also lucky to have the school holidays off as the daily routine can be tiring!
We have all sorts of weekend and evening clubs but dh and I share those.

Mummybares Tue 08-Oct-19 18:57:54

Breakfast club after school club holiday club
Luckily i work mon to fri.

We are all exhausted just sleep and stay in on weekends.

CanICelebrate Tue 08-Oct-19 18:58:24

FoodWoes

That was a judgmental post! Loads of women work and their dc go to before and after school clubs and are absolutely fine. It’s posts like yours (and women like you) that make working mums feel so guilty. I ended only worked full time since the dc were at school but their breakfast/ after school club is a busy and happy place, not full of neglected and tired children.

CanICelebrate Tue 08-Oct-19 18:59:10

Don’t know where the random ‘ended’ came from in my last post confused

Toomuch2019 Tue 08-Oct-19 19:00:37

My routine is as follows OP

6am-wake, get ready
7am-get kids up if not already awake by then
7.25-leave, each of me and DH taking 1 kid to drop off/breakfast club and nursery
8-5-work
5:15-5:30-pick up kids from grandparents/nursery respectively
6:30-dinner for us, light snack for kids. One of us reads with oldest and plays with both while other cooks
7:30-bed/get ready for next day
Maybe do some more work if we need to, ironing in front of tv or volunteering dependent on night of the week
10-bed

Have a cleaner, lots of family help, online shop and only very simple meals in week.

Good luck making it work OP, it is possible, but try to get your DH to help shoulder some of the burden

Bearsinmotion Tue 08-Oct-19 19:07:20

I never understand what people think is so tiring about breakfast and after school school clubs. DC have both gone full time since age 5 and play outside, bake, do craft, dress up - pretty much what they would do on weekends given the chance. Why is that more tiring than being at home, unless they spend their time watching telly or screens at home?

mommathatwearspink Tue 08-Oct-19 19:07:45

Thank you for all of your helpful posts, I really appreciate it! I definitely feel better knowing that families everywhere do the same and make it work.

foodwoes thank you for your input but I don’t find your post particularly helpful and it is incredibly judgy! I agree with canlcelebrate, it is people like you that make working families feel incredibly guilty!

laburnumtree Tue 08-Oct-19 19:08:32

I wfh now but when I worked FT in the office my daily routine (2 primary aged DC single mum) was:

6.45 - get up, check DC are getting up
6.45-7.15 - all get dressed, check bags etc for school, I would grab a cup of tea/piece of toast, DC ate at school
7.15 - leave house & drive to school
7.45 - drop DC at breakfast club
7.45-8.45- commute to office (drive/train/walk)
8.45-4.30pm- in office madly trying to get through everything to be literally running out of the door for 4.30pm.
4.30pm-5.30pm - commute to school
5.30pm - collect DC from after school
6pm - home, tea for DC
7pm - DC in bed
7.15pm - me eat dinner if I hadn't had something with DC
7.30pm - 10pm - work - all the stuff I didn't
manage to get done in the short day in the office
10pm-11pm - make sure everything ready for next day/do chores/clear kitchen/load dishwasher etc
11.30pm - bed

Should be easier with a partner/if you don't also have to work in the evenings. It was when the work flowed over into weekends as well that I realised I needed to change job, I now work from home which does make life easier (although even harder to switch off from work)

My DC did long days throughout as I had no choice but to work, they were fine with it, now I can pick them up earlier they often complain when I get to school because they want to go to after school club confused.

Good luck!

CanICelebrate Tue 08-Oct-19 19:09:01

mommathatwearspink
flowers

JoyceJeffries Tue 08-Oct-19 19:11:36

There’s no real point in me listing my day to day timetable as my DCs are now teenagers so it’s very different. Anyway, I’ll give you some top tips that helped me:
1. Amazon Prime - great for last minute gifts
2. Start your DCs on school dinners ASAP as making a packed lunch is a ball ache
3. Make sure your DP is pulling his weight at home
4. If finances allow get a cleaner
5. Bulk buy birthday cards etc and get a whole bunch of stamps
6. Drop your standards
7. Make sure you put a wash on every evening
8. Try and buy clothes that don’t need ironing. Especially school uniforms.

BettysLeftTentacle Tue 08-Oct-19 19:13:26

‘ Breakfast and afternoon club? How old is she? She's going to be so tired’

Not judgemental? Oh please hmm and you’re very much underestimating what a child is and isn’t able to handle there.

I leave the house at 6.45am and leave the kids with DH.
DH breakfasts, dresses the kids etc and gets the smallest to the childminder for 8.15am and the biggest to school for 8.45. He then works from home until the afternoon, when he goes in to work until around 6.30pm.
I pick up smallest from childminder at 5pm and then biggest from after school club by 5.30 although she’s booked in until 6 so sometimes I go home first and walk up to school.
DH gets home. We all eat, kids straight in the bath (if needed) and then bedtime. Biggest gets her school reading done at bedtime and spellings when she gets home.

Honestly OP if I didn’t have DH doing the other half of my 50%, we probably wouldn’t manage it.
I’m very happy to use after school club as DD loves to hang out will all her friends and chill out. A good after school/breakfast club will be an extension of the home but with the opportunity to socialise. I wouldn’t hesitate to send her to breakfast club if I needed to but right now I can’t justify the expense!

I’ve worked both full and part time with kids. I dont regret the switch to full time at all. More money and annual leave, for us, means the time we have together at holiday times and weekends is real quality time that we make the most of. You also get a guaranteed lunch break which is great because y’know, you’re allowed to look after yourself too wink

Hire a cleaner!

Dljlr Tue 08-Oct-19 19:13:40

Leave at 8, get to school by 8.40ish, drop child, race to work, get there 09.10-09.30 depending on traffic and if the council have decided to dig some more random holes in roads, leave at 17.20ish, get to after-school club by 17.50ish, get home from there at 18.30ish, throw food at child, bed at 20.30ish, make knackered child read to me because he's 'behind' and 'has to read for half an hour we don't, he's tired every day'. Then I carry on with all the work I couldn't finish during the day.

I'm a single parent and get no support whatsoever from my ex. DS has tutoring twice a week in the evenings and on those days I collect him slightly earlier or dice with death trying to get home in time for them.

Oly4 Tue 08-Oct-19 19:16:42

I work from home and school hours so my schedule isn’t relevant to you either but I agree that getting a cleaner/online shopping/batch cooking and maybe eating the same meal for two days/having pizza one night makes it all bearable. I couldn’t cope without my cleaner. Because of her, we can mostly do nice things on the weekends instead of chores

ncbaaybeee Tue 08-Oct-19 19:18:52

530 up for a run
615 shower get ready
700 kids up
715 DH takes to nursery and drops me at train station
730 train, get to work for 830
DH picks them up (he works 8-4 locally)
I get back at 530
6pm dinner
630 bath
700 bed.

Mooey89 Tue 08-Oct-19 19:19:52

I work 30 hours so Monday’s I have off which is when I do a food shop, all laundry, housework etc. I also food prep my lunches for the week (soup). DS does homework on a Monday eve and has beavers. Then on other days:
6:15 - wake up, get ready for work. 7am - wake up DS if not already awake. Get DS breakfast, get all bags etc ready

Leave hour at 7:30 - drop DS at breakfast club, in office for 8

Finish work at 5ish, collect from after school club, home by 5:30. DH home at 5 and has started preparing meal.
DS in bath and pjs - dinner at 6.15 (always an easy dinner!)
Bedtime for DS at 7.15

My job is so busy and stressful and I am always so tired! I’m lucky that my office is 10 min drive away.

ncbaaybeee Tue 08-Oct-19 19:20:20

Ps get a housekeeper! I have someone (a local mum) to cook, clean and do laundry for 5 hours on a Monday for £50 a week.

RedTitsMcGinty Tue 08-Oct-19 19:24:05

Single mum to DD, age 9.

7:30am Get up. She or I will get her breakfast depending on who is most awake. (I don’t eat breakfast.) Badger her into putting down her book and brushing her hair. General chaos over schoolbag organisation.
8:25am Cycle or walk to school — it’s a mile away.
8:55am I cycle on to work.
3:30pm DD goes to afterschool club
5:30pm I pick her up, we plod home
6pm-6:30pm She watches TV while I make her dinner
6:30pm She has her dinner; I make mine (our tastes in food differ drastically, plus she gets a hot meal in school every day)
7pm I eat my dinner while listening to The Archers because I’m ancient
7:30pm DD does homework or reads
8pm We spend about half an hour hanging out. We’ve just watched Series 1 of The Worst Witch together, one episode each evening. Sometimes it’s relentless bananagrams til bedtime
8:30pm She showers and goes to bed. Reads for 10mins. I lie with her and chat until she falls asleep.
9pm I have great plans to do more work but am usually too knackered. I clean up the kitchen, maybe tidy up a bit.
10pm I go to bed and spend an hour on Twitter despite swearing I’ll go to sleep straight away.

Weekends are filled with lounging around and doing washloads, and maybe going swimming. I am long past the idea of doing improving things on weekends, though we often go for a wander (we’re in London, so loads to do and see).

Laura221 Tue 08-Oct-19 19:24:12

Lots of good advice, also congrats on the job!! One thing I found great for us is planning all our evening meals so I look at the plan and know I have the right food in and that I dont have to even think about what to cook which is great when your getting through the door and getting everyone sorted. I saw someone comment about amazon prime and I have to say it has actually been great too.

No other advice really but when you get shitty comments like above just try to remember that the kids are doing exactly the same at kids club as they would at home but with the bonus of being around their friends.

itsgettingweird Tue 08-Oct-19 19:24:50

Ignore mushy posts about how they'll be so tired. Kids across the globe have days this long.

And plenty of children do EC clubs or parks/ supermarket after school.

You'll find your own routine but I always found getting up half hour before ds was my saviour. The cup of coffee in peace set me up for the day.

Also online shopping with monthly delivery pass is a godsend!

Now he's a swimmer and our routine is even more manic despite him being a teen!

soberfabulous Tue 08-Oct-19 19:26:12

Me!

Up at 6.
Leave house at 7.
Work all day.
Home at 7.

We have help with school pick up.

It's exhausting.

joffreyscoffee Tue 08-Oct-19 19:28:21

@FoodWoes loads of kids go to breakfast and after school club hmm,DD won't have a choice and she'll be absolutely fine. How judgemental.

RedTitsMcGinty Tue 08-Oct-19 19:28:24

Reading over what I’ve written, it all sounds fairly calm but DD likes to throw a hormonal spanner in the works every few days by objecting to everything and blaming all her woes on me. We bumble on. I’m lucky, in that my work is reasonably flexible, if somewhat relentless.

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