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You can't say no!

(10 Posts)
Shutupseaguls Wed 11-Sep-19 20:59:45

Feeling really shit at the moment. Just for clarity a few years ago my life was very different. I was working a better paid job and was living with my abusive ex so had two wages coming on even if live was crap.

Today my middle child came home wanting to go on a school trip their older sibling went on. The trip costs £1400 and is an amazing thing to do but the problem is I can't afford it. I was talking to a family member about it who said "aw you can't say no that's so cruel." I made it clear how I'm now not earning as much and after bills and food we have about £50 a week for everything else. Their reaction was that I was being out of order and I could find it from somewhere.

I really wish I could do it but I can't and I feel awful for it. They are going to be so upset. Has anyone else been in this situation?

formerbabe Wed 11-Sep-19 21:14:37

I think your relative needs to look up the meaning of the word 'cruel'.

mollibu Wed 11-Sep-19 21:16:44

I completely understand OP. You want to but you physically can't afford too.

At DS school, if you're earning under a certain amount/a single parent on FSM, they let you pay it off before and after the trip and happened. For example £5 a week until the balance is paid.

Could you perhaps look into something like that?

Soola Wed 11-Sep-19 21:17:56

No you’re not cruel.

However, I would look for ways which you and your child could actively raise some funds.

Selling things. Making things to sell. Odd jobs the child could do for extended family. Birthday and Christmas money from relatives etc.

ToLiveInPeace Wed 11-Sep-19 21:24:26

£5/week equals 10% of OP's disposible income and 280 weeks of repayments, which would be ridiculous. OP, I'm afraid I agree that you can't afford it... your relative sounds like an idiot. Getting into debt or struggling for basic needs just for this trip would be worse for your family than the disappointment for your middle child. I'm sorry it's such a hard situation.

Shutupseaguls Wed 11-Sep-19 21:27:28

We don't get fsm as I work full time. I think I may speak to the school though. It's just such a horrible feeling.

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow Wed 11-Sep-19 22:00:57

Your relative is an idiot. Unless they offer to pay, in which case they are a saint (they probably won't, though).

The idea of trying to raise money is a good one. Washing cars, tidying up gardens, running errands, dog walking - depends what age your DS is: get your thinking caps on, both of you.

Singlenotsingle Wed 11-Sep-19 22:17:54

Can't your DC's dad pay for it? It's very expensive, isn't it?

Shutupseaguls Thu 12-Sep-19 06:26:03

I can't ask him as I have no contact (due to his abuse of the kids) he's currently fighting his cm payment going up by a tenner as he's just bought himself a new bike. So don't think he would say yes.

Shutupseaguls Thu 12-Sep-19 06:26:42

I'm just going to have to explain it to my child that I can't afford it.

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