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For those who didn't have sex as teenagers - why did you wait?

(114 Posts)
NeverSayFreelance Wed 11-Sep-19 17:34:35

This is totally random, but I'm on a train and musing to myself.

I see a lot of MNers talking about their children having sex as teens, and then lots of responses from other MNers talking about how they had sex as teens themselves.

I'm somewhat surprised by it! I'm in my twenties and raised non-religious, so it's not a generational thing - I just was not remotely interested in sex as a teenager! Honestly until I met my DP at 21, I still wasn't interested.

If you missed the horny teenager phase, what were your reasons? Let me know I'm not alone here grin

Bloodycats Wed 11-Sep-19 17:37:34

Met my boyfriend when I was 14 but didn’t have sex until I was 19. Did plenty of other stuff in between but just didn’t feel ready for sex. No big reason, I wanted to wait till I felt ready.

Doje Wed 11-Sep-19 17:38:01

It just didn't cross my mind to be honest. I just didn't meet anyone I wanted to have sex with.

madcatladyforever Wed 11-Sep-19 17:38:03

I never fancied anyone ever. I didn't know what asexual was at that age but I was asexual. Still am obviously and although had curious sex later on and two marriages I wasn't sexually attracted to any of them and now prefer to live alone.

Ffsnosexallowed Wed 11-Sep-19 17:40:56

Never crossed my mind to. Embarrassing confession. I must have been 17 or 18 and arranged to meet up with a bloke I'd meet at a club. We went for a walk etc, had a snog and he suggested going to a local hotel. I told him there was no point, I was driving so couldn't have a drink. I went home - never heard from him again. It was only years later I realised that he'd wanted to get a room and not a drink....

SimonJT Wed 11-Sep-19 17:41:12

I had done everything but penetrative sex by my 17th birthday with quite a few people. I didn’t have penetrative sex until I was 27 (now 31), while I’ll do anything else with someone I fancy on a ONS, I don’t like the idea of having penetrative sex outside of a relationship.

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 11-Sep-19 17:42:05

Never had a boyfriend until I was 18!

c3pu Wed 11-Sep-19 17:42:13

22, cos I'm ugly and socially awkward grin

crosser62 Wed 11-Sep-19 17:43:02

I had no interest and wasn’t curious then as an older teenager I developed very strong feelings about self worth, about respect and had steadfast views on not wasting my time on anyone or anything that I didn’t deem as worth my while.

I was 19, with a boyfriend of over a year and decided that he was worth my while, he was. Not together now but I did the right thing for me. Glad I was so strong minded and strong willed.

Shockers Wed 11-Sep-19 17:43:15

I didn’t like the thought!

KatnissK Wed 11-Sep-19 17:46:42

Wasn't really interested, didn't have a bf and was worried about STIs and unwanted pregnancy!

Jumblebee Wed 11-Sep-19 17:47:26

Too fat and ugly to find anyone who wanted to have sex with me blush

DrDreReturns Wed 11-Sep-19 17:48:01

Because I didn't have someone to do it with! I'd have lost my virginity younger if I could have.

DeRigueurMortis Wed 11-Sep-19 17:50:20

I was just shy of 20.

All my friends were way ahead in that respect grin

I'd had boyfriends and plenty of opportunity but tbh it just didn't feel right.

When I did, well...anti climax sums it up.

Wasn't until I met DH and "really" fell in love that I got why people actually enjoy sex blush

I guess I'm just one of those people who find it hard to separate sex and love.

Retroraver93 Wed 11-Sep-19 17:51:07

I also never liked anyone enough that I went out with as a teenager to go all the way with them.
I was a youngster when the Aids adverts were on TV so combined with the fear of that or an unwanted pregnancy and also my DM's words about getting a reputation if you slept around in my small home town it really didn't seem like a good idea to me at the time at all.

choli Wed 11-Sep-19 17:51:22

I lived in a place and time where contraception was not available. It was still illegal to sell condoms. I wanted out of there very badly and I knew getting pregnant would mean I would be stuck there, as indeed happened to many of my friends. Sex wasn't worth that to me.

SargeantAngua Wed 11-Sep-19 17:55:39

I didn't get the opportunity until my 1st boyfriend when I was 23. I had anorexia in my late teens and was pretty messed up so relationships and stuff weren't top of my list of things to think about.

EggysMom Wed 11-Sep-19 18:05:12

No serious boyfriend until I was 19, lost virginity to serious boyfriend no.2 at 20.

Teddybear45 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:10:06

I didn’t want to have sex without a condom and the boys I grew up with, a mixture of Indo-Pakistani Muslims and Irish Catholics, didn’t want to have sex with a condom. So I just said no. It was a good idea too as HIV was fairly rampant amongst these communities.

cstaff Wed 11-Sep-19 18:12:54

I was 22 but I am Irish, Catholic, no contraception and was terrified of my mam grin

helpmum2003 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:15:10

I was 20. Hadn't felt like the right relationship until then.

Gormless Wed 11-Sep-19 18:16:57

I was gay and still in the closet

eeksville Wed 11-Sep-19 18:17:37

I used to go clubbing in London underage but never touched drugs & drank very little alcohol & didn't loose my virginity until I was 18 & much later than all my friends. In terms of sex I definitely had sexual feelings & attraction to the opposite sex & had boyfriends however I only wanted to go all the way with someone who respected me & I really liked. I didn't want it to be school gossip either. I also never cared what people thought & no one ever judged for me.

wellaloevera Wed 11-Sep-19 18:18:00

I was sexually abused as a child so was terrified of men and what was 'expected' of me until I was about 21. Even then my first proper experience was when I was horrendously drunk and luckily the guy I was with was very gentle.

I spent most of my teenage years feeling very confused about why other girls weren't afraid of men the way I was.

Fatted Wed 11-Sep-19 18:22:58

The desire was there but I lacked a willing partner! It wasn't until I was 18 and at uni that I started getting any interest!

I knew loads of girls having sex underage. A girl in my class had an abortion in third year of high school. So 13-14? She had a 21yo boyfriend which looking back now isn't as cool or sophisticated as I thought back then! There were also a couple of girls very obviously pregnant while taking their GCSE's.

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