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How do you get past the feeling that nobody else will ever want you because basically you're fucked and old?

(4 Posts)
JustYourBasicDove Wed 11-Sep-19 12:20:40

Just that really.

I'm not pretty (this is true fact, not just being down on myself).

My head is all kinds of fucked up, mostly going back to a very difficult birth (physically I'm recovered at last, but it's left scars on my body and mind).

I'm not what men want. Too independent and with too much complicated baggage.

I thought I'd found my forever person but 12 years later I'm on my own again. It was total chance that I met him and I can't see that happening again because my life is so different (ie small and child centred) now.

I miss having someone be kind to me or give me a hug or snuggle up to me in bed sad

BiMum5 Wed 11-Sep-19 12:29:44

Well, I was fucked and old and someone wanted me and thought I was hot! Unfortunately she recently changed her mind so I'm alone again but it's given me loads to think about.
While I miss her and what we had, I have decided that if I adopt the attitude that I am good enough on my own, then meeting someone is a nice bonus but not essential. That way you don't depend on someone else for fulfillment.
But if you are to meet someone, you do need to get out there somehow and find the part of yourself that's you, not just someone's mother. Which is good for you anyway even if you don't meet anyone.
No harm in being the best version of yourself you can be xx

JustYourBasicDove Wed 11-Sep-19 13:04:04

I'm doing all the stuff everyone says I should to build a fulfilling life as a single person. It's just... lonely!

BiMum5 Wed 11-Sep-19 13:15:25

JustYourBasicDove I spoke to a lady yesterday who has a very active 83 year old mother. She said to her mother that she could never see herself being that active. Her mother said "X, it doesn't just happen. You have to get out there. Issue invitations. Accept invitations!"
I met my ex by getting involved in a lobby group for an issue we both feel strongly about. Something I had never done before and it was a bit scary but we achieved stuff and met each other in the process.

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