Apologies, it's another MIL one. She's usually lovely but she's really shat the bed this time and I want some time.
PIL cat sat for us whilst we were away on hols, really kind of them. However, whilst they were here, MIL took it upon herself to have a clear out of our spare room. She has thrown away three boxes of sentimental stuff from my childhood, old diaries, some letters from my grandparents, photos, presents I was given, books: my Malory towers and sweet Valley high collection, all sentimental stuff that means a lot to me. These was the only things that were thrown away, nothing belonging to DH or the DC were thrown away, just re-arranged. DS 1 bedroom was reorganised for example. I didn't realise until about two days later (about the thrown away, I twigged the re-organisation pretty quickly). Bin men have been, it's all gone.
I am really, really upset by this. PILs initial reaction was patronising, suggesting that we live in junk filled chaos and they couldn't see us living like this, this then quickly turned angry and is now at the begrudging apology stage.
In the last few days PIL has been bombarding me with messages about how upset MIL is (because I won't accept her apology or talk to her right now). they were supposed to be coming over this weekend but i've suggested DH and the kids go to them, I don't want them in my space right now.
I will get over this, it's only 'stuff' i get that but I'm not at the forgive and forget stage yet. I'm getting multiple daily messages from FIL, MIL has been on the phone every day to DH alternating between anger at me, belittling my feelings or crying about how I am going to ruin their relationship.
I just want to be left alone by them for a while, DH is supportive but is also on the receiving end of his parents, wants an easy life and is encouraging me to move on. I will move on but I just want a couple of weeks without any bullshit from any of them. Any advice on what I can do / say to buy me a bit of time?
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How do I communicate my need to be left the fuck alone?
paleandstale · 04/09/2019 15:21
Thats horrific! She's thrown away irreplaceable belongings, private things she had no business touching. 
on your behalf.
Why did she only throw your stuff out?
I’m finding it difficult to believe someone will consider mementos ‘junk’ 
The belittling of feelings would absolutely madden me and unkind words would have been exchanged.
Just block them until you are ready to talk, your DH can fend them off. I personally would be very cold until a sincere apology is offered.
@pinkyredrose - I have a theory on why she only chucked my stuff out but that's been rebuffed by MIL herself, natch.
@Shylo - yeah, I think I might do that, just block and ask to not hear any of what's being said - I'm quite nosey 9and curious as to how the fuck they are justifying themselves) so I have been asking DH for a rundown - will rein myself in.
I will be ok (ish) with this at some point, i won't have them ever housesit again and I am reconsidering our longer-term relationship and mulling over iof they have been too entwined in our lives - to do something like this suggests they think they are there to control us in some way.
DH is also shocked but he's put up with a lot of shot from them over the years so not overly surprised IYSWIM.
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