Am I being an idiot going to meet this man?

[fairgame84]

I went on holiday to Tunisia in May. Met a lovely waiter at the hotel and I asked him out on a date. We went for a coffee, had a kiss and nothing more.
Since then we have video called every day. He seems genuinely lovely and I'm due to go back next month to spend a week with him. Except I'm getting cold feet.

He is 10 years younger than me and wants a ltr with marriage and children. I'm mid thirties and have a teenager, I don't know if I want to start a family all over again. I'm settled with my career and happy.
I've heard and read all the horror stories about being used for visas etc so I'm aware that he might not be genuine. He hasn't asked me for money and I would never give him any.

My friends have warned me not to go due to safety concerns.
When I write it all down it seems so stupid to go but then he could be one of the few blokes that is genuine.

Do I just go and see how things go or do I cancel my flights and bin him off?

[captainprincess]

Don't go!! He is using you, 100%. Sorry, but I do believe that. Had a family member who has an almost identical story and is now £6000 poorer...

[Kalim8]

Cancel and bin, it's not difficult to be nice once a day for a video call, sounds like a scam.

[TheQueef]

Don't be so bleeding stupid.
You are setting yourself up.

[howyoulikemenow]

I wouldn't. Think of your safety, and your child if anything were to happen to you.

I did something daft when I was 18 with a guy I met abroad. I went to meet him when we got back home, travelled from Yorkshire to Plymouth and stayed with him a few days. I then it phased out as I didn't really like him. Looking back it was daft of me to go all that way alone to see someone I met on holiday, but I didn't really have anything to lose at that time either as I had no responsibilities and no money.

[Silversky70]

Please cancel your flights, and block him. There's probably a few of you he's got on the go.

[flumpybear]

This is a terrible idea - it'll be a scam ...sorry OP - get out now, in tact and without losing money or your worldly goods

[toadabode]

Please listen to yourself. Even IF he was genuine (which I don't think is likely), what are you going to do? Leave your teenage son, family and friends and your job and move to Tunisia to live with a waiter ten years younger than you? Really? Come on

[Bluntness100]

Cmon now op. You know the answer to this.

[Ginmel]

Dear me. I was sure you'd be a first time poster but your are far from it. Please listen to your friends OP. They have your best interests at heart. I would happily bet that waiter tried it on hundreds of other times that day and has done since.

[TildaKauskumholm]

You know the answer... these things do not end well.

[fairgame84]

It doesn't help that there are 2 women at work that are married to North Africans and they are encouraging me to go. One has been married for years and he is genuine, the other is clearly only with her for a visa.
It's hard to see it because they kind of lovebomb you.

[Mishappening]

A waiter! - are you serious????

Run a mile.

[SunSeaLust]

Cancel & Bin!! Come on OP haven't you read about this sort of thing? He will use you & drain you financially in a manipulative manor!

[FabulouslyFab]

“Bluntness100
Cmon now op. You know the answer to this.”

This ⬆️

[TheVanguardSix]

Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Hell yes.

[Belgravian]

There are websites in Tunisian love rats!

He does not love you!

www.tunisianloverats.com/

[Belgravian]

www.lipstickalley.com/threads/tunisian-love-rats-website-warns-western-women-about-tunisian-scammers.1109306/

[Belgravian]

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-2641529/amp/Tunisian-love-rats-website-set-heartbroken-Shirley-Valentines.html

[Belgravian]

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/living/1655345/heartbroken-woman-wants-love-rat-tunisian-hubby-deported-after-6000-bill-getting-him-into-uk/amp

[BrunettesDoItBetter]

Get a copy of Take a Break or That's Life they will be full of real life stories of women just like you.They do it so can come and live in Britain it's a well known con

[Belgravian]

I bet if you look on the Tunisian love rat sites you will eventually find him on there having tried to dupe other women

[fairgame84]

I've all the stories and seen the websites but it's one of those where you always think 'mine is different'.
I know you are all right that's why I've been wobbling over the decision. I just needed to see it in black and white to push me into cancelling. I'll not a refund on the flights but in the long term it's nothing compared to what could happen.

[fairgame84]

I bet if you look on the Tunisian love rat sites you will eventually find him on there having tried to dupe other women

He's not on there. Not yet anyway.

[M0RVEN]

Wise decision

[MaverickSnoopy]

I get it. It's the "what if" and also the fact that plenty of people meet their spouses all over the world.

For me the risk of losing everything would eradicate the teeny tiny remote chance that hes genuine and mr right. You have to think of your child in this.