I feel dead people

[Bullyettime]

This happened for about the 100th time in my life last night and I don't really know how to explain it. It's happened both with people I know well who have died, those with whom I only have a vague connection and those I don't know at all.

Two days ago my friend's sister suddenly died. I did not know her sister well, maybe met her a couple of times. I would know her to identify her. Last night I was on the phone to my friend offering condolences. I then did some work and eventually went to sleep. I had a very troubled dream where her sister came to me and was holding a notebook and telling me something very important about what was in the notebook. In the dream I was trying to tune her out because I knew she was dead and it felt very uncomfortable. I woke suddenly out of the dream and I knew that her sister was in the room with me and was trying to get my attention.

I have no desire to communicate with dead people. I wouldn't even know how to do it or how to understand what the message is or what they want. I just know they are there, and they follow me around the house. The feeling is that of a presence and like I am walking through cobwebs. I also feel whatever emotion they are feeling and usually when it's as powerful as this (someone who has died more recently) it's usually a very strong emotion like fear, or agitation or desperation, which I find very uncomfortable.

To get rid of my friends' sister last night I had to cook and eat a large meal (at 3am) switch the TV on loud to a comedy channel and then walk outside for an hour. I then felt she had gone and was able to go back to sleep.

This was not a one off but has happened to me tens of times over the years (I am almost 40) and frequently in childhood where I was renowned for shouting into the air at nothing to "leave me alone."

I am definitely not someone who romanticizes or even thinks very much about death or the afterlife, or the death of people I don't know. I don't think of myself as a psychic or a healer or any of that mumbo jumbo. I am not one of those people who hears about the death of a friend's brother's cousin's cat and makes it all about me and starts lighting candles and holding vigils. I did not go into the collective shock/mourning/hysteria at the death of Princess Diana/Michael Jackson etc.
The reason I say all this is because I have entertained the possibility that maybe I am just someone with a very active imagination who dreams about what I have just been talking about or imagines that something I'd like to happen is happening (eg life after death). But you see, I have no interest in life after death, on a rational level it does not bother me whether there is an afterlife or not. I also don't tend to dream about the thing I have just been talking about. Outside of these dead people scenarios, my dreams are very abstract and forgettable.

But it just occurred to me last night, after it happened for what seemed like the hundredth time, that this may just be something which happens to me and that I have to learn to switch it off, and I don't know how.

Does anyone know how?

[Horehound]

You read too much into shit.

[Whosorrynow]

@Bullyettime, have you thought about going to your local spiritualist church?
They might be able to advise you on how best to deal with this, also there are sections of Mumsnet which are devoted to this kind of thing where you would probably get a kinder response 😊

[MyFokMarelize]

If it's troubling you - and it clearly is - then it's time to get some help from an outside source. Hopefully one who won't give you a one-liner dismissive answer like the poster above.
Where you would start I do not know but I hope you get your answers and find some peace.

[Whosorrynow]

I think if you ask for your thread to be moved to the unexplained section you might receive some more supportive answers, it is my understanding that the sorts of things can be shut down
( mind you I'd swap with you 😁)

[Michellebops]

I agree with seeking out your local spiritualist church where you'll get support

[SheeshazAZ09]

I agree with the poster who recommends going to the local spiritualist church and talking to the people there. I went with a friend once and met some pleasant, down to earth people who do the 'communicating' thing. Some of these people will get this kind of experience routinely. They will not be at all bothered if you are not a Christian or a church-goer. There's a reason this is happening to you and it could be an interesting journey for you to go on.

[IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls]

I think its worth discussing it with your gp.

[zen1]

I don’t think it would be helpful for you to attend a spiritualist church. You’ve already said you had no desire to communicate with dead people and they actively encourage this belief which may unsettle you even more. I think on some unconscious level, you may be worried about death or dwell on it more than you consciously realise. When you distracted yourself, the feeling went away, which to my mind shows it’s coming from your own imagination and maybe compounded by sleep paralysis. Maybe you would benefit from CBT which offers techniques to deal with unwanted thoughts?

[honeybeetheoneandonly]

Have you mentioned the notebook to the sister? It might mean something to her.
Not helpful to you, I know.
It just reminded me of a family member dreaming his (deceased) wife telling him off for not having passed on the Christmas presents they had bought for an acquaintance's kids before she passed. The next day, he ran into the mum in the supermarket and made sure she came by to pick up the presents.

[bottleofbeer]

Have you ever had episodes of psychosis?

[JaneJeffer]

Have you tried asking them to leave?

[BogglesGoggles]

I would suggest seeking medical help. These kinds of things can spiral out of control quite suddenly if not monitored.

[Silvercatowner]

I echo seeing your GP.

[Longdistance]

I dream about my uncle who passed away about twelve years ago. He never left a will and the shit storm it caused a rift within the family as he was a bachelor with no dc.

Try a spiritualist church.

My dreams don’t bother me as much as you by the sound of it. The dead people I dream about are wearing white, this includes my df and grandad that appear to me.

[Mileysmiley]

Do you mean I see dead people?

[NobleRot]

Ignore the people who are advising a spiritualist church, OP. See your GP as soon as possible and explain your symptoms. Because that’s what they are. Best wishes.

[Decormad38]

Tell your friend about the notebook. Then you may find out if it's pure fantasy or something more meaningful. Then you can probably dismiss more readily or seek help.

[NameChange92]

You had a bad dream. I find I only remember bad dreams, they stick with you because they’re upsetting. And yes, it’s totally normal to wake from a bad dream and need a while/ to do something to clear the feeling. It’s not a contact from the spirit world it’s a totally normal process by your subconscious mind. Make sure you aren’t too hot when you sleep, don’t eat too much or things like alcohol or caffeine and get some exercise a few hours before bed.

[AuntieMarys]

Therapy might help.

[barryfromclareisfit]

Prayer. Give it to God.

The brain is a filter system. Some of your filters are open though most people have those particular filters closed. You can close them, shut them off, just by deciding to do that. It might help.

[floribunda18]

I think it is strong empathy and imagination, accompanied by mild psychotic episodes. I would recommend a trip to the GP, and to really focus on improving your mental and physical wellbeing. A combination of drugs, CBT and lifestyle changes may improve matters. Do not go to a spiritualist church.

[YobaOljazUwaque]

Either this is real and your reaction to this was really unkind - surely tuning in and trying to get the message would be less effort than cooking a big meal and going for a walk for an hour?

Or if it isn't real then you need psychiatric help.

I have no idea which. But one or the other.

[Marmitelikestoast]

Have you ever experienced these dreams, feelings ect about somebody, to then find out they have passed away AFTER - or are you always awear before hand?

[Aprillygirl]

I'm just place marking as I find this so interesting. I very much doubt this is an illness/psychosis if you've been like this since childhood, but it would do you no harm to get yourself medically checked out, then if all fine, as others have said, I would seek help from members of a spiritualist church. Good luck OP and keep us posted.

[EleanorReally]

are the rest of your dreams vivid?
are you on medication?
did you eat a large meal, drink alcohol before going to sleep?