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Potty training!!!

(70 Posts)
Fruityb Wed 07-Aug-19 11:24:53

So I'm off for summer with my son (I'm a teacher) and we've been on holiday and now it's me and him for the next four weeks, save weekends. I have thought about trying to potty train while I'm off and thought now would be a good time. We bought pants, we keep talking about using the toilet or potty and saying it's time to be a big boy. My son is three in two weeks.

Up until now though he's shown no interest at all in going to the toilet. He says "I don't want to" quite strongly when potty is suggested and if you ask him he can get quite upset. I don't want to push the issue and upset him or make this a battle so haven't. My husband however is always on about it and saying he'll be in nappies forever if we don't do something about it yadda yadda. I'm pretty sure that in the next year he'll crack it before he starts school....

I made a thing this morning about not putting a nappy on and he chose his pants. And then promptly peed them. No fuss, clean up and left his pants off. Thought I'd try and leave him wild and free! He has so far peed three times on the carpet and once on the sofa. He has peed a lot and I read on the NHS site that if wees aren't an hour apart then it will likely not work. These wees all happened in about two hours. He has sat on the potty after he has done one and I've clapped and cheered, sitting on it is progress as he would not at all before, but obviously it's too late then. After spending four hours cleaning up piss and having a child who kept asking for a nappy and then refusing to put his clothes on I have just stuck a pull up on him and he's loads happier. I keep asking if he wants a wee and to tell me if he does.

He runs and hides if he needs a poo so he knows when he needs to do that. But he has never said he needed a wee ever and I just don't think I can push the issue just yet. His cousin is further on than he is and he's four months younger but he also has an older sister he can copy which I think helps. I'm not wrong in thinking that it's ok to not be potty trained by now or that it's not bad for him to not really be showing any signs of it yet? I've said he needs to try and keep his pull up dry and to tell me if he needs a wee but as he's never done that I'm not expecting the world today. I just don't want him to think this is a fight or upset him about it.

Any advice on this would be much appreciated - I haven't got a clue what I'm doing quite honestly! I have read that there are various sign posts and while I've seen a couple he just isn't telling me he needs a wee and I think that's likely pretty crucial. Our childminder will support us when we get there or when we need to; I just think we're trying too early.

yikesanotherbooboo Wed 07-Aug-19 11:35:20

I don't think he is ready. He probably will be soon and if you persevere you will get there but quite honestly I would wait a few weeks. rather than fail now. I used to suggest as you are doing until one day they said 'I'm wearing pants today' and they were dry. I can't remember how old but 3 children between 2 yrs 9 months and 3 years3 months. One thing you could do if you have a garden Is suggest he 'waters 'the flowers if you don't object to this. It might give you an idea as to when he is ready.

HeartvsHead Wed 07-Aug-19 11:36:14

Also a teacher and also attempting potty training. Your husband sounds like mine with the 'we should do something' 'I'm now off to work good luck'. When it's not them doing it everyday it's very easy to say let's do it!

I have no real advice as figuring it out myself but if it's any consolation my little one wet herself every single time the first day then the second didn't have a single accident. Been hit and miss at times since then but I think she just needed a day to realise there was no nappy there!

Fruityb Wed 07-Aug-19 11:55:58

I’ve ordered a sticker chart and a book. He’s just not bothered at all and I need him to understand before he will do it. I’m just not mopping up more pee today - it doesn’t help that he’s being a little sod at the moment and I think I’m just going to pick my battles. His latest favourites are lobbing his cup when it’s empty, thrashing like a fish when trying to dress him, pulling clothes off when they’re finally been put on....

Husband definitely does that! “Potty training time - I’m off to work!”

I can’t make him do it, his childminder will help us do it when I’m back at work. This can’t be forced can it! I’ll just keep showing pants and the potty and hopefully we’ll get there. If he’s peeing so close together in a morning he’s obviously got no control yet.

permanentlyfrazzled1 Wed 07-Aug-19 12:14:31

We’ve had four children, 2 boys then 2 girls, all of whom trained themselves at exactly 3 years 3 months (Oct half term). Eldest, I put lots of pressure on from aged 2, because that’s what all my friends were doing with theirs, so I felt I needed to ‘keep up’. However, he had huge speech problems so couldn’t tell me when he needed to go, and more importantly, wasn’t the slightest bit bothered about what he was sitting in. No pressure on the other 3, but they also decided one day that they were wearing pants and using the toilet like a big boy/girl. The girls went very quickly to pants at night as well as during the day, with no accidents at all, and being fully independent getting themselves on/off the toilet, checking they’d left it clean and flushing, and washing their hands. Both boys had a handful of accidents in the early days, and were in night-time nappies until they were 5, but I understand that that’s totally normal. There’s something biological that happens where a chemical or hormone is released (someone will be along shortly to explain it better than me!) and until that happens, their body/brain is not ready to come out of nappies. Other mums will tell you their child is already trained and they’re only just 2 years old etc but often, you then find out that they need a wee every 20 minutes, still need helping getting on/off the loo etc I just found that the later you leave it, the more in control your child is, the less stressful it is, with fewer accidents. It doesn’t ask on your uni application forms for the age you were toilet trained, so it can’t be that big a deal 😀 Good luck!

Fruityb Wed 07-Aug-19 18:24:04

Well he’s weed his pants 8 times and has peed on the floor or sofa about the same... if my husband tells me to just “persevere with it” one more time....

I’m hoping tomorrow is better. Happily he was wearing a pull up when he did a giant shit this afternoon as we were at Tescos.

I’m going for a shower to try and get the smell of piss off me. Hoping for a better day tomorrow!!

PhillipeFellope Wed 07-Aug-19 19:34:49

I'm also sat in the same (pee soaked) boat. DS is 2 years 8 months and also doesn't give a shit (ha!) about potty training. I'm leaving it a while. Whenever I push stuff he resists, so I've told my DM (main potty training pusher) that I'm being "child led" to get her off my back. I've got a year before he goes to school, hopefully we'll manage it in that time. He never holds his pee, and wees about 6/7 times an hour. We tried pants the other week and he went through 11 pairs in an hour and a half.

ScrunchyBook Wed 07-Aug-19 19:42:56

Sounds hard work, honestly I'd just stop and try again in a few months.
Our boy/girl twins are 3 at the end of August. Our girl asked to stop using nappies about a month ago and cracked it within 3 days so she's all sorted (nappy at nighttime). Our boy just hasn't shown enough interest yet. He wanted pants when she started, but after several wet patches in one day my SAH DH stuck him back in nappies. We're going to try him again in a couple of weeks. There is no rush.

Fruityb Wed 07-Aug-19 20:04:14

I’m going to keep going tomorrow and Friday as he responded well to getting a sticker for sitting on potty and putting his pants on and I have a reward chart coming.

I need to knock it into DH that it’s ok if he doesn’t get it yet. He feels like we owe it to CM to get him sorted as he’s not back there till September. She had him yesterday as she owed us a day and just said “he’s still wearing a nappy?” As a question as she knew I was going to try. He took that as she wants him using the toilet. She doesn’t mean that at all and will help us.

He shat on the kitchen floor earlier... if I’m mopping up piss all day for the next two days I’m either leaving it or DH can handle it at the weekend. I’m at the hairdressers grin

You’ve got to smile haven’t you!

Eyebrows2016 Wed 07-Aug-19 20:06:04

Have a look at the ‘oh crap’ method/ book. My DS showed none of the classic signs at 2 1/2 but was dry within a week in the day and 6 weeks at nighttime (nighttime is obviously a different kettle of fish and it’s normal to wet until at least 7 I think).

PhillipeFellope Wed 07-Aug-19 21:17:26

I tried 'oh crap' it didn't work for us. DS didn't like being bare arsed at all and the constant watching really freaked him out 🙈

PhillipeFellope Wed 07-Aug-19 21:18:54

You’ve got to smile haven’t you! And have vats if wine in the fridge grin

2childrenandout Wed 07-Aug-19 21:25:54

Oh Crap worked for us too at 2.5 years. I found I needed a couple of weeks being close to home (taking potty out etc) so the summer hols would be a great time to try. I think putting a pull up/ not putting one on will just confuse him but completely get why you did. I did sticker chart, book to encourage. As a teacher you'll have heard the horror stories of children starting reception and only having a poo if they're watching an iPad, given chocolate etc.
My friends have struggled to get their children off these once they started. Hood luck!

2childrenandout Wed 07-Aug-19 21:26:25

*good wink

Fruityb Thu 08-Aug-19 09:44:21

He peed on the potty!! He did it!! We’ve only had two wees this morning - one while he had pants on and then he walked over to his potty and sat on it. I’ve never been so excited over piss!!

2childrenandout Thu 08-Aug-19 12:07:15

Woo hoo! Glad you've seen some progress 👍

mynameisMrG Thu 08-Aug-19 12:13:51

I’m in the same boat. Off school for the summer and started yesterday. There has been wee everywhere but I’m going to keep going! My DS was three last week

HeartvsHead Thu 08-Aug-19 12:23:44

@Fruityb hurrah! Maybe he was like mine and just needed a day to twig that the nappy wasn't there.

Although this morning we had:
'Mummy, I just poo'd in my nappy'
'Erm your not wearing a nappy...'

We are a week in a seem to have completely dry days then days where she seems to forget completely.

Thecomfortador Thu 08-Aug-19 12:37:09

We're just out the other side of this for day time wees. Ds is just over 3.5 and in last couple of months has really properly got the hang of it. It has taken a good year of progress and backward steps - pull ups had their place although they are glorified nappies really.

I thought we could do it on willpower and encouragement, reward charts, etc etc but ultimately ds1 has just matured into it. A big turning point was when he decided to try a wee in the toilet at dad's work. He refused all out of home toilets, including nursery but that day he did a wee at work was a huge leap forward.

He will get there, hopefully it won't take a year of encouragement and wiping up wee for you!

Fruityb Thu 08-Aug-19 12:56:55

He’s been dry since that second wee and we’ve been out for a bit as well - walked; he’s going nowhere near my car without a pull up! Trying to sell pull ups as safety pants rather than saying nappies with him.

It’ll happen eventually I’m sure. Today seems to be going better than yesterday though the smell of 1001 is getting a bit overwhelming!

PotolBabu Thu 08-Aug-19 13:02:33

I have to say I always began with a bit of prompting. So I would ask them if they needed a wee. And if they didn’t say yes then every 60 mins to start with (and then stretched to 90 mins and then 2 hours) I would take them to the loo myself. And the rule was to go the toilet and wee before going out somewhere. I find that if they can pee on demand and hold their wee they are on their way to being potty trained.

skankingpiglet Thu 08-Aug-19 13:14:53

That's fantastic progress! 😊
If you need to do a car trip, it might be better to sit him on a small folded towel rather than stick a pull up on? (Plus have a plastic bag and spare towel with you in case of an accident)

Fruityb Thu 08-Aug-19 17:16:24

Four wees today in the potty and only three accidents - which is a massive improvement on yesterday! Three of those wees were done when I wasn’t in the room and cane in to find him pants down on the potty.

Stickers and high fives a plenty!!

hormonesorDHbeingadick Thu 08-Aug-19 17:21:15

Get maternity pad/puppy training pads for him to sit on in the car.

itsabootyhole Thu 08-Aug-19 17:22:47

Oh wow go him 🎉

My dd is 2.9 and I've tried a couple of times but she says very sternly "I don't like it mummy" I was hoping to get it done and out the way this holiday so that she went back to pre school in September dry. I might try again next week and stick at it.

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