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Would you agree to babysitting children that don't have a bedtime?

(31 Posts)
greatvengeanceandfuriousanger Fri 12-Jul-19 21:04:29

No judgement about how other families work, everyone should sleep where, how and when they get optimum rest when they are on their own turf.

Would you change babysitting arrangements if it transpired the DC didn't have a bedtime? Parents have said they are happy for their DC to stay up until they get in after midnight, mostly so they can lie in I suspect. This would be ok(ish) if it was on holiday or as a one off.

I want to back out of a new, regular arrangement because as much as I want to see them, t's too much. DC are 1 and 6, mine is 11 so is more flexible.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Fri 12-Jul-19 21:06:43

Are a 1 and 6yo even capable of staying up til midnight?

I think I'd try and aim for a 9pm bedtime then just tell the parents they were too tired to stay awake.

ladygracie Fri 12-Jul-19 21:06:57

How regular is it? But no, I wouldn’t fancy that at all. That’s a lot of entertaining you’d need to do so a lot of work.

Florencenotflo Fri 12-Jul-19 21:07:25

If they were older (maybe over 10) then I'd go with it if the parents were ok with it. But surely a 1 and 6 year old would be miserable by midnight?

Can you do it once and see how they get on? Then if it's not working back out?

I'm struggling to think of ways to keep kids that young entertained that late into the night!

Fundays12 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:08:23

Absolutely no chance would I do it especially as it would interfere with my own kids routines.

How other people choose to parent there child is up to them but I will not take responsibility for a child that doesn’t go to bed at night as it’s too tiring for me. I don’t even like it when family members try to bring there kids to my house at bedtime or just afterwards as i don’t want to deal with or tidy up other kids mess when my own are asleep.

hmwhatsmynameagain Fri 12-Jul-19 21:09:27

Depends how much they are paying

Thesearmsofmine Fri 12-Jul-19 21:12:09

I think if they only told you this after the arrangements had been arranged by than YANBU. DC staying up late doesn’t bother me but it isn’t the norm for most and they know that.

Soola Fri 12-Jul-19 21:12:33

I would not agree to them staying up and would tell the parents that I would only babysit if the children were in bed by 9-9.30 at the latest.

Or I wouldn’t do it.

Yellowweatherwarning Fri 12-Jul-19 21:14:17


Ambydex Fri 12-Jul-19 21:14:59

You can back out of any new, regular arrangement if it doesn't suit you.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart Fri 12-Jul-19 21:16:04

A 1 year old stays up til past midnight?

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders Fri 12-Jul-19 21:19:38

I babysat for kids like this once, they had no bedtime. I just put them in bed at 7.30 anyway.
The mum was shock when she came back at midnight and they had been asleep for hours. I had done a bath, bed, book kind of routine. They slept all night according to the mum.
The kids didn’t want me to babysit again as I was mean hmm apparently not letting kids jump around until 11.30pm is mean grin

badg3r Fri 12-Jul-19 21:25:25

Keeping kids that young up till midnight is bonkers. Just give them a bedtime that you decide. Of the kids see well behaved and go to bed without to much stress this wouldn't bother me.

lunar1 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:30:40

Fuck that, no chance!

Fatted Fri 12-Jul-19 21:36:31

Nope, nope, nope.

My kids are in bed by 9pm on a weekend. They're 6 and 4. Even when my parents babysit they're away to bed by then.

If you do end up watching them, just send them to bed at 9pm!

serenadoundy Fri 12-Jul-19 21:39:14

It wouldn't bother me. A regular babysitting gig however would.

Itstheprinciple Fri 12-Jul-19 21:51:39

Surely babysitting a 1 yo and a 6yo is about getting them to bed at a reasonable hour and having the telly all to yourself for the night. No way would I be keeping a miserable 1 yo up trying to entertain them until that time.

crosser62 Fri 12-Jul-19 21:57:51

For this very reason I will not babysit a friends 3 kids as she tells me that the 3 year old is regularly running amok at 4am and that the others will not/ do not go to bed until after 1am every night.
No naps in the day btw. Eldest is 8 and has never had a bedtime routine.

They all sleep in the parents king size too. None of them sleep in their own beds.

Parents do not see it as a problem at all.

onyourway Fri 12-Jul-19 21:57:51

That's nannying, not babysitting.

Chovihano Fri 12-Jul-19 22:06:21

Maybe it's a subtle way of asking you to get them into a routine.
Then if they kick off when you try and do it you'll understand as they don't have a bedtime. Iyswim.

I'd do it the once and put them to bed with bath, story, etc.

anothernotherone Fri 12-Jul-19 22:10:56

No, unless perhaps you're the children's grandmother and the parents agree to you getting them into a routine.

As a one off I'd only do it if I liked the children a lot, I wouldn't do it regularly unless they were my grandchildren and I had the parents' blessing to sort bedtime out grin

IncrediblySadToo Fri 12-Jul-19 22:14:38

Nieces& nephews?

What are YOU getting out of this ‘regular arrangement’

But at 1&6 they’d be having the milk/bath/story:bed routine anD DONE by 7:30. End of

If they’re happy for them
To stay up they can stay home to facilitate it

greatvengeanceandfuriousanger Fri 12-Jul-19 22:16:50

No payment it's family, DHs sister DC. They are lovely and it's great seeing them but not when overtired.

First time I put 6yo to bed with tears and tantrums. I absolutely didn't think to mention bedtime and just did what I remember for when DC was that age. I mentioned the difficulty when I got in and was met with surprise "oh everyone just let's them stay up"

Second time I said in advance it didn't work for me, same difficulty from 6yo. Third time we were asked to have the DC in our house over night, I said I couldn't babysit.

I've told DH I'm not doing it again until they DC are in more of a routine. I'm also worried about the reciprocal arrangement with DC as they will probably be expected to look after cousins. I'm obviously happy to see the DC and take them to the park and have them over but not at night which is obviously when the adults want to go out.

AtSea1979 Fri 12-Jul-19 22:18:22

Not a chance. My 10 yo goes to bed at 7 and my 14 yo at 8:30. Not a chance i’d be entertaining them for hours

EvePolastrisFace Fri 12-Jul-19 22:19:17

No. I do not want to spend my evening with other people's children (or my own for that matter). By the end of the day I need quiet.

I had a friends son (5) stay over recently and he stayed up until 11pm. It was only one night and she was ill so I didn't begrudge it, he's a very sweet boy and it's one night in my life but honestly, on a regular basis, no chance.

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