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(11 Posts)
earsey14 Thu 13-Jun-19 07:59:35

I've been posting my neighbour problems hoping to find someone with the same problem. My neighbours think it ok to comment and make snide remarks when I am making private phone calls on my landline. I was on a bus a while ago and 2 young women were sitting nearby talking. One started telling the other about a book she was reading which described what happens to a person physically when they committed suicide by various different methods. I endured a description of one method and then they were about to start on the method my dad used. I said to them "please could you talk about something else as my dad committed suicide". They went quiet and then returned to chatting about shopping. When I got off the bus they said to me "we are very sorry" and I replied "don't worry about it, you didn't know". I was telling someone about this over the phone and when I got to the point where I asked the women to talk about something else the woman next door said "this will be good" through the party wall. It struck me it was good and most people would have reacted like those 2 young women. Another time I was telling someone my dad had no mental health problems and the man next door expressed his disbelief at this through the party wall. This made me feel very angry as the man next door didn't know my dad and it is none of his business. You'd also expect him keep his opinions to himself regarding something that painful, sensitive and private. My dad had Parkinson's and I certainly don't want to discuss that with the man next door. I'm surprised next door bother re my private phone calls-you'd think they'd have something better to do. Previous replies have suggested moving. I don't want to move. I like the house and garden. It is very handy for all the things I do. Most neighbours are ok too. I like to keep myself to myself. Also talking about my gross neighbours I have heard many, many neighbour problems and have noticed that women who live alone and like to keep themselves to themselves seem especially vulnerable to neighbour problems. Plus I've got rid of most of the awful round here and don't want to have to go through that again somewhere else. I ignore next door as much as possible, go out and away as much as possible, talk about it to people I feel treat me with respect and have several places I call homes from home where I can go and relax. I rarely sit in my garden because next door but have several places I can go and sit outside on a nice day. I also rarely use my phone.

Gazelda Thu 13-Jun-19 08:03:08

Could you use your phone in another part of the house, away from the shared wall?
Not that you should have to, you should feel as though your home anything that happens in it private. Sounds very unpleasant.

Soola Thu 13-Jun-19 08:05:55

The walls are that thin that a low speaking voice can be clearly heard?

I’d be more concerned about the flimsy structure of the building than people overhearing me!

S1naidSucks Thu 13-Jun-19 08:06:24

How on earth can you you hear each other through the party walls? Are they incredibly thin or are you both very loud?

I am sorry about your father.

earsey14 Thu 13-Jun-19 08:23:36

Tried that-bad reception. It is when use landline which is on other side of room to party wall. Think they wash up, prepare food or something next to the party wall. Have tried putting on tv when on phone but that means I can't concentrate on call. Am going to ask the cab next time I go there if it would be illegal for me to put a recording device on while phoning in case they do it as they should not be contacting me in any way, shape or form. It would mean I'd also record what I am saying however it could be a pretend call. It would prove it. They impinge horrible on my private space.

Soola Thu 13-Jun-19 08:39:07

Something is very amiss here.

If I was on the phone and a voice from next door suddenly piped up indicating they heard what I was saying I would stop talking immediately.

I also think it’s strange that the neighbours speak when you’re in the phone because when you are ear wigging you keep quiet so that the other person doesn’t know you are listening in.

What kind of construction are we talking about that they you can all hear each other so easily?

Is this a house that has been divided into flats?

We live in a new property and you cannot hear the other person talking if they are in the next room unless they are being extremely loud.

Belleende Thu 13-Jun-19 09:06:26

Either your walls are incredibly thin, or you are speaking very loudly or both. How often do you make calls.

I am struck by some of your language. You clearly feel victimised. Have you considered that perhaps your neighbours find it quite intrusive that they can hear your calls and this is their way of letting you know?

Damntheman Thu 13-Jun-19 11:31:51

I'd stop using the landline and make my calls somewhere else personally.

I'm sorry about your dad OP, my dad also died with Parkinsons. Horrible horrible illness.

Nesssie Thu 13-Jun-19 11:39:41

If they can hear your conversation that clearly then surely you are talking too loud.

As as an aside, you did the exact thing your neighbour is doing, to the girls on the bus. Listening to their conversation and then commenting on it.

S1naidSucks Thu 13-Jun-19 11:44:11

Try turning a radio towards the wall and that way the music is directed towards them, so they shouldn’t be able to hear you. Don’t have it up too loud, as you don’t want to antagonise them.

I hope you’re getting the support for your mental health, that you need.

Andylion Thu 13-Jun-19 13:42:26

Tried that-bad reception. It is when use landline which is on other side of room to party wall.

OP, do you have a cordless landline? Can you take it into another room? Or is that what you mean by bad reception?

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