Swimming. I just made something of a dick of myself.

[Donneytrumpgal]

Please help me recover.

I can swim, in so far as I can get across water without sinking, but have got into awful habits, and am also much heavier than I was. So, I booked myself into an intermediate swimming class to sort out my stroke and get me a bit fitter.

Oh dear god, I am so unfit. My stroke isn’t bad but I only did a length and a half and was so out of breath I had to hold on to the side and pull myself together. I got all gulpy and panicky.

Then we did some half lengths of face in the water breathing, and that was ok until the water went up my nose and I started spluttering and coughing. And just when I thought I’d started to get it, I swallowed loads of pool and then burped really loudly. Oh the SHAME!

Why am I taking in so much water and snorting when everyone else has this bit sussed?

Should I go and find another sport I’m more physically suited to? Darts?

[Snappedandfarted2019]

Swimming teacher here; are you blowing bubbles when breathing theres two types, explosive and trickling if you're swimming front crawl you want to be trickling the bubbles, turning you're head to the side slow big arms and fast kicks pace yourself.

[Donneytrumpgal]

I think I’m trickling. Maybe I’m so unfit I can’t differentiate between the two.

I was breathing every second stroke, so on the same side every time.

[Catypillar]

Can't answer your swimming question but the thread about the pregnant lady who took her bikini bottoms off before getting in the swimming pool (possibly in Classics?) might make you feel better about the swimming embarrassment side of things...

[TheWeatherGirl1]

Last week my toddler puked in the pool and they had to clear the pool and close it.

Make you feel better?

[Donneytrumpgal]

Oh yes! “Your minge” Fabulous!!!

[ZenNudist]

Well done for getting through it. Its worth keeping it up. Its good all over toning and calorie burn (have to guard against overeating after as it makes me hungry). Plus low impact. It takes time to build up to being able to swim a reasonable distance.

Im a regular swimmer and i swallowed a gulp of pool the other day (gross and annoying to have to stop and choke). I was doing backstroke and a big fat vigorous swimmer went past me and created a wave!

[Icedlatte]

I really recommend the book "leap in" by Alexandra heminsley. It's all about her taking up outdoor swimming, and, like you, being surprised by her body's reaction and struggling to get the pattern of breathing that she assumed would come naturally.

It's a great read, very funny and touching, and will hopefully make you feel much better about yourself and maybe give you some tips too.

[Marvinmarvinson]

I've started properly swimming front crawl a few months ago. The best bit of advice I can give you is to lower your expectations. It takes a really long time to learn to do it properly. I couldn't swim a length initially and I can now manage about 16 without needing to stop at all. Around 60 over a 50 minute session. It's taken a while though to get to that though!

I would literally just practice the breathing first - arms out straight and hold onto the side and practice putting your face in the water and slowly trickle out your breath then turn to the side to breathe in. Like you would with front crawl. Get really comfortable doing that.

Then I practiced front crawl using a pull buoy - taking the legs completely out of the equation makes it far easier to concentrate on the arms and the breathing. Once that feels easy add in the legs. Any time you're struggling go back a step.

It's such a technical thing to learn I've found. It's not just about fitness, it's about getting the position in the water right, moving your arms and legs the right way and the breathing. Such a lot to take on! Keep going though and don't be embarrassed.

[Donneytrumpgal]

Theweathergirl that’s grim!

[Donneytrumpgal]

ZenNudist I like the low impactness of it too.

[Donneytrumpgal]

Iced latte, I’ve just ordered it for audible! Thankyou for the recommendation!

[Donneytrumpgal]

Marvin I couldn't swim a length initially and I can now manage about 16 without needing to stop at all. Around 60 over a 50 minute session.

That is seriously impressive and inspirational. Well done you. Has it changed you physically?

[Laurajjj]

It will get better the more regular you swim.

[ZenNudist]

Well I still feel like I forget to kick right in front crawl. Been swimming for years and 3x a week for the last year plus.

[AtSea1979]

@Catypillar I was hoping it was another “minge” thread

[BlueSkiesLies]

You didn’t make a dick out of yourself.

You were there, giving it a go. That’s something to be proud of.

Not everyone can be a dolphin.

[Marvinmarvinson]

Honestly, I made a right tit of myself my first go as well. I turned up to a proper triathlon swim session full of serious swimmers and barely managed a length. They were all so lovely an welcoming though, I pushed through the embarrassment and I've learned loads by continuing to swim with them.

It hasn't changed me physically, I'm a greedy bastard and I love my food. Nothing has ever changed my body shape as I can never out train my eating habits! I run a lot so I think it compliments that - it's a good way of building up strength without putting any more strain on my joints.

I've also downloaded a sample of that book - thanks for the recommendation icedlatte

[BlueSkiesLies]

I taught myself to swim front crawl last year - went from not even being able to do half a length and ending up couching and acting like I was drowning to doing an open water triathlon. Which was fucking awful but there you go! The pool swimming was good tho!

[Donneytrumpgal]

This is really giving me an enthusiasm boost! I’ve been reading “Atomic Habits” and one of the things it questions is what trajectory you’re on. Unless I make some minor but permanent changes I’m on course to be very portly and sedentary. So this 30 mins a week is a step in the right direction.

There isn’t the equivalent of couch to 5k but for swimming, is there?

[topcat2014]

I swim like a barn door - and am so poor at it I am not even sure it counts as exercise.

I had some lessons when around 30, but, tbh, if it wasn't for the DC I could quite cheefully never go swimming again..

[MinnieMountain]

I swim twice a week. It's the dickish behaviour I notice and remember, not the coughing and spluttering.

[Donneytrumpgal]

Thanks, I’ll look at that, it sounds ideal.

Re lane swimming, I’d love to be good enough to do that, but fear I’m not fit enough yet and will start panicking and will have to be towed to safety.

[thatmustbenigelwiththebrie]

Don't worry about it.

I swim a lot and this morning got awful cramp and had to be pulled out of the water by a giant pole!

The pool is at work as well so it was in front my colleagues.