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Hospital meals for myself as breastfeeding but I’m not breastfeeding the patient. I’m feeding his younger brother.

(28 Posts)
SilkClayFlowers Tue 21-May-19 06:24:09

My ds aged5 is currently in hospital with asthma and as they’ve seen me feeding his little brother and expressing they’ve been kind enough to give me meals too. Most of the time I’ve decined because I’m à woman of strong morals wink and -the sandwiches are of the lukewarm corned beef variety- .

My understanding is that you are fed if you are providing the patient with their food (breast milk) so it doesn’t sit comfortably. If baby ds was the patient I’d happily accept them.

I’m interested in others opinions of this?

Sparklingbrook Tue 21-May-19 06:27:37

Are you able to leave DS for long enough to get your own food? Or could you take your own in?
Sounds like a nice thing for them to do TBH. Sorry the food isn't up to scratch!

NicoAndTheNiners Tue 21-May-19 06:27:39

I'd agree with you but I also wouldn't lose sleep if someone accepted the food. Someone might not want to keep leaving the older ds to trek to the canteen. Some might struggle financially if there for a while.

SilkClayFlowers Tue 21-May-19 06:30:19

I’m very greatful to ve offered the food and have accepted for those reasons on a couple of occasions. They are however, reasons that all parents on the ward face.

gamerwidow Tue 21-May-19 06:31:30

It’s not technically within the rules but so what. You are there with your young child who is a patient and will do no one any good if you don’t look after yourself. Having a child in hospital can be ruinously expensive for some families. It’s compassionate to give help where you can.

Happyspud Tue 21-May-19 06:32:16

Both they and your ds need you to be at the hospital. And you need to breastfeed. I think feeding you is right.

NicoAndTheNiners Tue 21-May-19 06:33:12

Well our hospital feed the dads on the antenatal and postnatal wards as they're helping looking after the women and babies. Dads can stay 24hours. They're not bf anyone. Oddly enough parents aren't fed on the children's ward. Which doesn't add up.

Stuckforthefourthtime Tue 21-May-19 06:33:39

I've been in hospital looking after one small child with breastfed younger baby in tow and no food was offered. It's certainly not official policy to feed you, someone's seen that you have a lot to do and is trying to do you a nice turn (or is just confused), can you not just accept it?

Hope your son is better soon.

LizziesTwin Tue 21-May-19 06:33:55

Just eat the food if you are hungry, your focus needs to be supporting your sick 5 year old, not worrying about the cost to the NHS of the occasional sandwich.

gamerwidow Tue 21-May-19 06:34:45

In an ideal world they’d feed all parents staying with their children but it the absence of being able to do this their prioritising their resources according to need.

FuzzyPixel Tue 21-May-19 06:42:05

My sister accepted food in hospital on those terms. Her young son, who would have been two at the time was really poorly, but she was also breastfeeding her three month old. My sister and her three month old stayed in hospital with her two year old son for the duration of his stay.

Kpo58 Tue 21-May-19 06:44:51

At my local hospital chldens ward they feed in this order:
- The inpatients
- breastfeeding mums
- siblings
- parents (if any food is left or its binned)

PenelopeFlintstone Tue 21-May-19 06:46:46

This wouldn't have even crossed my mind. Is it a big thing in the UK? I'm overseas.

BenidormBlast Tue 21-May-19 07:05:16

Are you staying on the ward with the baby as well as your poorly son?

ferntwist Tue 21-May-19 07:15:10

I don’t see a problem with it at all. With a poorly DS5 and a breastfeeding three-month-old DS there can’t be any time for you to make your own at home to bring in.

ferntwist Tue 21-May-19 07:15:28

Hope your son gets well very soon.

PrimeraVez Tue 21-May-19 07:23:54

In the nicest possible way, I think you're over thinking it. It's not like you're taking fillet steaks.

Hope DS makes a full recovery soon.

Eminybob Tue 21-May-19 07:29:36

IME they always have plenty of leftovers so I’ve seen men on maternity wards fed, and non-breastfeeding mothers on children’s wards fed.
After having DS1 my DH ate a full Sunday lunch while waiting for me to be discharged.

sashh Tue 21-May-19 07:30:42

Dear godess woman, you are feeding a baby and supporting a child in hospital you deserve a few warm sandwiches.

Nurses are human beings, many are also mothers, they get it, if they can magic up some food for you they will, if they didn't think you deserved it you wouldn't get it.

I was once practically force fed visiting an elderly relative 200 miles from home.

Singlenotsingle Tue 21-May-19 07:36:48

So are you criticising the quality of the food, or just the generosity of the hospital? If you don't want it, just say no. confused

PoohBearsHole Tue 21-May-19 07:41:17

Well OP, the man in the bed next to my dad declined his sandwich smile so don’t worry too much smile

on he kindness of nurses, i asked one of them to point me in the direction of the coffee machine at 3am and she came back with a coffee for me,! I took in a huge box of biscuits for the a & e staff the following day as they’d done everything they could and they looked after the relatives too x

Walkaround Tue 21-May-19 07:43:42

Well, if somewhere a patient is not getting their warm corned beef sandwich because you ate it, then don't accept. If they are actually throwing away lots of sandwiches every day because people aren't eating them, then what makes you think it is less wasteful not to eat what is offered? I doubt they are offering you food that has been made especially for you or which is supposed to be going to another patient who is currently starving to death because nobody has fed them anything in days - but you can always ask if it makes you feel better!!

Ledkr Tue 21-May-19 07:59:36

I think it's great they are using common sense and bending the rules.

When dd was born she had cleft palate so couldn't Breast feed and at 6 days developed pneumonia.

I had had a c section and thus couldn't walk far (canteen miles away) and there was no kitchen to warm up some soup or store a salad.

Some staff used their noodle and fed me while others stuck to their guns and didn't feed me.

The hospital was 10 miles from our house and do had to do the school runs so couldn't get to me until about 9.30 everyday.

Sometimes I'd go without food or drinks for hours, not great for healing.

There was a vending machine which sold nothing but crisps and chocolate.

My midwife came to see me and went mad and I did occasionally get a drink after 😮

She was in for 3 weeks and nearly died.

I ended up with such bad PND and we were broke from all the travel and parking.

Not a great experience. I'm glad you are being better looked after.

Yabbers Tue 21-May-19 08:24:26

Nice of them to do it. Most children’s wards have extra food. We were offered food when DD was in hospital and it was nice of them to do that. I’m one who doesn’t waste NHS resources where I can help it but giving parents some food wouldn’t be an issue for me.

Strange to complain about people being nice to you.

Ivestoppedreadingthenews Tue 21-May-19 08:29:00

I think it’s recognising the reality that unlike in the olden days there simply aren’t enough staff to care for children. We need parents on tap to do normal care. It can be very hard to get meals with a child in hospital and leaving them meals getting childcare. If you are BF then you and your baby needs you to eat. It’s in the NHS’s long term interest to not tip you over into giving up Bf. Makes sense they would feed you.

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