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If I had a penny for every time....

(30 Posts)
Hadenoughofitall441 Wed 15-May-19 22:18:20

Someone said I’ve just printed it after handing you a note. Working in retail for 14 years that’s literally all I hear. I think I’d be able to retire comfortably by now. I always quip back but it’s just like ‘as if I haven’t heard that one before’

Come on let’s keep it going and see how many people can relate....

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 22:21:40

Another retail one.
Customer-"Oh what a shame, the weather's gorgeous out there and you're stuck in here working, what a shame."
Me muttering-"Is it, I hadn't fucking noticed." 😤

ChardonnaysPrettySister Wed 15-May-19 22:24:01

If I had a penny for every time my dogs farted I would be a very rich woman.

Wallabyone Wed 15-May-19 22:34:11

I feel really silly but I don't think I understand the OP 😭😭

Wallabyone Wed 15-May-19 22:35:12

Ignore me, I read it as a note, handwritten on a piece of paper, not cash 😭 I've never heard anyone say that before though!

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 22:36:06

Customer 'joking' that they'd just made/printed the money. It's an oldie but not a goodie.

Likeamobvie Wed 15-May-19 22:41:03

I worked in a cafe when I was 13.
'Do you take sugar?'
'No, You're sweet enough for me' 🤮

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 22:45:55

5 pence for a carrier bag?
Yes, since 2014. 🙄

Alorralorralaughs88 Wed 15-May-19 22:47:32

I work in a supermarket on checkouts and self serve, I've lost count of the amount of times I hear "oh it didn't scan? It must be free!"

🙄 hilarious!

Gingernaut Wed 15-May-19 22:49:51

Dropping coins as they're paying

"Oh! I'm throwing money away!"

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 22:52:13

Have you got change of a £20?
It's 20 quid not a gazillion pound note.

RezCowgirl Wed 15-May-19 22:55:57

I used to work in an old fashioned sweet shop when I was a teenager.

"I feel like a kid in a sweet shop"

Shadow01 Wed 15-May-19 22:58:49

I don’t get the I’ve just printed it so much but definitely the joke that it must be free if it doesn’t scan first time

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 23:01:42

That'll be £17.63
Sorry, I've only got £14.22.
No worries, I'll put it in out of my minimum wage. 🤪

DoneAdulting Wed 15-May-19 23:02:11

In a high street bank, every other customer asks 'You're not going to close are you?', like I make the decision or that they tell us but then keep it a secret from the customers.

My favourite response is 'I'm not allowed to say!'.

Gingernaut Wed 15-May-19 23:05:30

@Shadow01, think printed paper notes.

Just printed this one this morning. The ink should be dry.

They're pretending they're forgers, printing their own money.

SarahTancredi Wed 15-May-19 23:06:01

It's wrong to have two women here this time of night.

Stop coming in then.we are only here because people come in hmm

Justmuddlingalong Wed 15-May-19 23:06:55

Massive sign displaying opening hours on the front door. Shop opens at 8am.
Cue the rattling on the door by people at 7.38 mouthing "are you open yet?"

Shadow01 Thu 16-May-19 07:21:53

@Gingernaut I know what it means I meant that customers have got bored of trying that one grin

S0CKS Thu 16-May-19 07:53:58

Anything else I can help with?
Yes.. Do you have this coming Wednesday lottery numbers?
Fuck off. If i did i wouldn't be serving you now!

ssd Thu 16-May-19 07:58:53

Agree with the 'oh it's lovely outside' when you are stuck inside serving someone

Also the sugar 'I'm sweet enough'

cantfindname Thu 16-May-19 08:23:07

I used to have a customer every week who would place his order and finish it with 'And a pound out the till please' You HAD to respond, ignore it and he would go on and on labouring the point. This went on for years until I snapped, grabbed my purse, took out £1, slapped it on the counter, told him for the millionth time he couldn't have £1 out the till as I would lose my job if the till didn't balance, but as he was so obviously desperate he could have £1 out of my purse from my wages.

Believe it or not the old git took it!!

Gingernaut Thu 16-May-19 12:01:26

Believe it or not the old git took it!! shock

ThisIsTheEndgame Thu 16-May-19 12:04:19

I had a namebadge saying 'temporary staff' when I did a few months Christmas cover in Woolies. If I heard "temporary staff, that's a funny name" once I heard it a million fucking times.

BellMcEnd Thu 16-May-19 12:10:09

“He’s always had blood pressure, nurse”

Well yes. He’d be dead otherwise.

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