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My husband cheated on me last night

(943 Posts)
WifeOfCheater Mon 13-May-19 08:26:36

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

Babysharkdododont Mon 13-May-19 08:29:22

Oh love, what a fucking scumbag he is. Don't let him wake up and say it was a joke or he was teasing you, he fucking did this to you.
Get him out, he can stay with his Mam for 3 weeks until the flat is empty, then he can sling his cheating, predatory, teenager exploiting hook.

WifeOfCheater Mon 13-May-19 08:30:51

Yes I have a feeling he will wake up and say "God it was just a joke ha ha" he was deadly serious. I can't stop crying and need to get a grip. I can't even go out for the day like I usually would as DD is still not right. He works from home but got a feeling he'll be "off" today hmm

Shockers Mon 13-May-19 08:30:54

Bloody hell- I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure I could get past that level of sleaze, or lack of self control though. He’s majorly fucked your marriage. sad.

Laramummy90 Mon 13-May-19 08:32:53

Absolute twat. Unforgivable in my opinion

isthismylifenow Mon 13-May-19 08:32:56

Oh Wife, i felt ill just reading this.

He can leave, and you should encourage it as you need some head space right now.

17! I dont think i could forgive this OP, and i am not usually in the LTB team.

timeisnotaline Mon 13-May-19 08:33:04

Don’t you need the flat income? He can stay with his mum after you’ve explained he has a blow job from a 17yeae old. Is that a crime if she’s 17?

Littlejayx Mon 13-May-19 08:33:44

Please keep this strength! Don’t listen to his excuses and lies keep strong for your family!

It makes it worse he called you and retired to put the love blinders on. Any sort of action like that is cheating.

Chilledout11 Mon 13-May-19 08:34:49

I wouldn't give him the flat either. You need the income yourself angry

Babysharkdododont Mon 13-May-19 08:35:17

I'd personally go and throw some icy water over him and get him the fuck out of the house. Let the kids watch films and eat junk, and wallow in your pity, you have every right to xx

Samind Mon 13-May-19 08:35:45

I'm so sorry to hear this! Have you got any friends around you? I can't imagine what hearing that would of been like for you. Sending you lots of love and support.

BlueCherries Mon 13-May-19 08:36:16

Jesus, you poor thing! Beyond awful.

What an utter dick head.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen Mon 13-May-19 08:36:18

If he doesn't see it as "proper" cheating then he won't mind explaining it to his mum when he goes there then will he?

Bezalelle Mon 13-May-19 08:36:22

Put the filthy bastard out.

ShatnersWig Mon 13-May-19 08:36:34

He leaves. Doesn't matter where he goes, he's the one who cheated. You'll need the income from the flat. So sorry

Flamingosnbears Mon 13-May-19 08:36:49

He needs to face the consequence of his actions. Don't give in be strong.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 13-May-19 08:37:28

I would call his parents, tell them exactly what he's done, and to get a room ready because he will be there shortly.

And keep renting your flat for the income. Fuck him. He deserves none of your consideration.

Chocolate123 Mon 13-May-19 08:38:43

He'd be gone today. Why would you give him a flat to stay in he has family nearby let him go there. Why is he still in bed and toy up with the kids? As for a 17 year old almost young enough to be his child that's vileenvy

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice Mon 13-May-19 08:39:12

If it's not 'proper cheating' I'm sure he wouldn't be adverse to you going out and blowing a teenager then!? Ffs

MrsHormonal2019 Mon 13-May-19 08:39:40

Hugs. It's not something I could recover from and it would make my relationship to toxic to live in.
I would have no option but to end it.
I wouldn't give him the flat as you will need the income. If he does have family around he can go there till he sorts his finances out?
It all depends on you and whether you can live with this.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse Mon 13-May-19 08:40:31

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. Stay strong and don’t let him sweet talk you. Most importantly remember you deserve way better and kick his cheating arse to the flat, if you can afford to do so. flowers

WifeOfCheater Mon 13-May-19 08:41:16

Thanks all, I have friends but I don't think I can bring myself to say out loud to them what he's done. How do you even begin to tell people that?!

His parents while be furious, I am really close to them (actually went to theirs for Sunday dinner while he was out getting pissed yesterday).

How can a person ruin everything food they have for a fucking blow job? I honestly didn't know see meant that much to him.

He will no doubt blame lack of sex in our life - with a 2yo who still breastfeeds and wakes in the night and mad work schedules we don't get to do it very often.

I'm now wondering if he will need a STD test? Can anything be passed on via oral sex?

WifeOfCheater Mon 13-May-19 08:42:16

*sex not see

BogglesGoggles Mon 13-May-19 08:43:26

I agree with pp. send him to stay with his mother. Teach him a lesson.

Jinglejanglefish Mon 13-May-19 08:43:47

Ugh that is truly disgusting. Please don't let him live in your flat, continue to use it for income.

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