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Was I rude to sit in the car?

(84 Posts)
Florencenotflo Fri 26-Apr-19 12:24:23

Dd - 3y/o is asleep in the back of the car. We're going out with an elderly relative for lunch. Dd has only been asleep for 10 mins but needs at least half hour to make it through lunch without a tantrum.

We're at relatives house purposely early to see other people who have popped in (DH's cousin). DH has gone in and says it looks rude that I'm sitting in the car with dd.

I can't see Dd or even the car from relatives flat (car parked at the front), flat is at the back, so I'd have to keep popping out anyway. We're parked on a road not a drive or car park. Plus if we locked the car and Dd woke up she's set the alarm off, probably scaring the life out of her.

Florencenotflo Fri 26-Apr-19 12:24:47

Would you have done the same?

CaptainMyCaptain Fri 26-Apr-19 12:26:27

I would do the same as you and not be pressurised to leave my child unattended in the car.

Miljah Fri 26-Apr-19 12:26:47

Yes, I would, especially as it will be you having to manage the tantrum.

BlondeBumshelll Fri 26-Apr-19 12:27:01

I absolutely would have done the same as you and told DP not be such a dick.

Littlefroggy18 Fri 26-Apr-19 12:27:35

I agree that it looks rude but you don’t really have another option other than waking DD up. Surely they will understand if your DH explains the reason why?

Langrish Fri 26-Apr-19 12:28:32

Same here. People who’ve had kids will understand (even elderly ones grin). Husband can explain to others. No biggie.

CrazyOldBagLady Fri 26-Apr-19 12:28:55

I can't imagine ever feeling someone was being rude by watching a sleeping child in a car. I'd pop out and come to you if I wanted to say hello.

Disfordarkchocolate Fri 26-Apr-19 12:29:16

I would have done the same, he can explain and surely everyone wants to avoid an overturned toddler at lunch.

NowWeAreSuckingDiesel Fri 26-Apr-19 12:29:33

Personally it does grind my gears a bit when people sit in the car with kids. I try to leave at a time so that they can sleep on the journey or sleep first. If my 10 month falls asleep in the car I usually pick them up gently and move them to the bedroom to sleep more. Sometimes they wake up, mostly not.

But I know I'm probably being unreasonable. I have family that sit outside for hours because their 2 Yr old is asleep, I don't get it. Sorry.

Still I wouldn't be pressured to do anything I didn't want to do though, your kids your choice!

WoollyMummoth Fri 26-Apr-19 12:30:10

You’re not being rude. Just practical. I would have done exactly the same.🙂

SummerInSun Fri 26-Apr-19 12:30:21

Absolutely the same. You couldn't even consider leaving DD alone. And if you wake her up too early, you will have an exhausted bratty child who may ruin the occasion for everyone. If DH feels strongly, he could wait in the car for five min while you pop in and say hello and then you swap back. But everyone at the event who has had a child will completely understand. Don't know a single parent who hasn't sat in a car with a sleeping child at some point.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 26-Apr-19 12:31:24

I'd probably do the same, but tbh it is rude.

FiremanKing Fri 26-Apr-19 12:32:12

I would have brought the child in. But if you chose for your child to continue sleeping then you were not being rude by waiting in the car

cocomelon23 Fri 26-Apr-19 12:33:04

Why did you not leave in enough time for her to nap? I find it a bit rude sorry. My sister does this a lot and it's quite irritating waiting for her. I get that I'm in the minority though smile

SaltSpoon Fri 26-Apr-19 12:33:31

Just wake her, she's 3 fgs. Far too old for this level of preciousness. Rude.

pinkyredrose Fri 26-Apr-19 12:33:33

Couldn't you remove her from the car without waking her up?

RubaDubMum89 Fri 26-Apr-19 12:34:35

Not at all rude! If lifting DC out of the car would mean them waking up and lead to a melt down (waking my 2yo DD always does) then I think it's the most sensible thing to wait in the car until DC wakes up!

I'd class it as rather thoughtful really, you're sparing everyone having to endure the tantrum!

Readytogogogo Fri 26-Apr-19 12:37:39

Not rude. And not 'precious' either. He

strawberrypenguin Fri 26-Apr-19 12:41:14

Baby I'd let sleep. 3yo I'd wake up

RocketSurgery Fri 26-Apr-19 12:42:03

My dsis did this last time I visited. I drove 3 hours each way with 2 young dc’s and we spent 6 hours there. She sat in the car with her ds for 2.5 hours of it. I get that they need a nap then but I’d come a long way to see her. Her dh was in the house just pottering about, if it was me I’d have asked dh to sit in the car if it wasn’t his relatives. So in your case as it’s your dh’s family, you should be the one to sit in the car.

dangerrabbit Fri 26-Apr-19 12:42:47

Not rude as you will have to manage the tantrum.

QuestionableMouse Fri 26-Apr-19 12:45:02

My nephew tends to onmy nap in the car and wakes if you try and take him out. 95% of the time he's fine and his normal self but occasionally he'll be really crabby. If they need sleep they need sleep and you can't always arrange things around nap time.

Chamomileteaplease Fri 26-Apr-19 12:49:38

I am sure your husband could explain that you will be in in 20 minutes. It will be worth it . He just needs to explain surely?

FireFighter999 Fri 26-Apr-19 12:50:40

I would of woken her up and just dealt with it because it does seem rude.

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